{"html":"\t\n\t\u003C!-- Advertisement Script --\u003E\n\t\u003Cscript \u003E\n\t\t\n\t\tvar key = [];\n\t\tvar values = [];\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tkey.push(\u0022tn_keyword\u0022);\n\t\t\t\tvalues.push(\u0022\u0027mass-shoot\u0027, \u0027nra\u0027, \u0027school-sho\u0027\u0022);\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tkey.push(\u0022tn_author\u0022);\n\t\t\t\tvalues.push(\u0022\u0027belle-c\u0027\u0022);\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\u003C\/script\u003E\n\t\t\t\n\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022postid-274602 scrolltrace textContainer_Truncate\u0022 articlelisttitle=\u0022Turning Teachers Into Heroes Is Just Another Way of Refusing to Respect Them\u0022 articlelistlinks=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/article\/turning-teachers-into-heroes-is-just-another-way-of-refusing-to-respect-them\/\u0022 article-post-id=\u0022274602\u0022 article-keyword=\u0022\u0027mass-shoot\u0027, \u0027nra\u0027, \u0027school-sho\u0027\u0022 article-subject=\u0022\u0027activism\u0027, \u0027education\u0027, \u0027guns-and-g\u0027, \u0027politics\u0027, \u0027terrorism\u0027, \u0027youth\u0027\u0022 article-authors=\u0022\u0027belle-c\u0027\u0022\u003E\n\t\n\t\t\u003Carticle id=\u0022url-title\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\u003Cdiv id=\u0022tn_pixel_274602_1\u0022 style=\u0027height:0px; width:0px;\u0027\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cdiv id=\u0022tn_pixel_274602_2\u0022 style=\u0027height:0px; width:0px;\u0027\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\u003Cheader class=\u0022article-header\u0022\u003E\t\n\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022article-header-content\u0022\u003E\t\t\n\t\t\u003Cul class=\u0022article-info\u0022\u003E\u003Cli class=\u0022category\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/subject\/guns-and-gun-control\/\u0022 class=\u0022anchor_subject\u0022 subjectlink=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/subject\/guns-and-gun-control\/\u0022\u003EGuns and Gun Control\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli class=\u0022category\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/subject\/youth\/\u0022 class=\u0022anchor_subject\u0022 subjectlink=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/subject\/youth\/\u0022\u003EYouth\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli class=\u0022subcategory\u0022\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/keyword\/school-shootings\/\u0022\u003ESchool shootings\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003Ch1 class=\u0022article_title hide\u0022\u003ETurning Teachers Into Heroes Is Just Another Way of Refusing to Respect Them\u003C\/h1\u003E\u003Ch1 class=\u0022title\u0022\u003ETurning Teachers Into Heroes Is Just Another Way of Refusing to Respect Them\u003C\/h1\u003E\u003Ch2 class=\u0027subtitle\u0027\u003EA new item has been added to the long list of impossible expectations for teachers: Picking up a gun.\u003C\/h2\u003E\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022byline\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Ch2 class=\u0022author_name\u0022\u003EBy \u003Ca class=\u0022author\u0022 href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/authors\/belle-chesler\/\u0022\u003EBelle Chesler\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/h2\u003E\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003Ch4 class=\u0022time is-today article_pub_time\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\tToday 1:46 pm\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003C\/h4\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\n\t\t\u003C!--\u003Cul class=\u0022article-share\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca class=\u0022social-share fb\u0022 href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EFacebook\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca class=\u0022social-share tw\u0022 href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ETwitter\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca class=\u0022social-share email\u0022 href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EEmail\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca class=\u0022social-share tn_print\u0022 href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022 onclick=\u0022tn_print_fn()\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EPrint\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\u003C\/ul\u003E--\u003E\n\t\t\n\t\t\u003Cul class=\u0022article-share\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022 class=\u0022social-share fb\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Efb\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022 class=\u0022social-share tw\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Etw\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022 class=\u0022social-share mail email\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Email\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022 class=\u0022social-share tn_print\u0022 onclick=\u0022tn_print_fn()\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EPrint\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022 class=\u0022social-share msg\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Emsg\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022 class=\u0022social-share wa\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Ewa\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022 class=\u0022social-share sms\u0022\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Esms\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\n\t\t\u003C\/ul\u003E\n\t\t\n\t\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003C\/header\u003E\n\n\u003Csection class=\u0022article-body  abody-274602 keep-reading\u0022\u003E\n\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022article-body-inner\u0022\u003E\n\t\u003Caside class=\u0022left full-width-mobile image wide indent\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Ca class=\u0022gallery imgHover\u0022 href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/teachers-return-stoneman-douglas-school-ap-img.jpg\u0022 title=\u0022Faculty and staff greet police officers stationed outside of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School on February 28, 2018 in Parkland, Florida.  (AP Photo \/ Matias J. Ocner)\u0022\u003E\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/teachers-return-stoneman-douglas-school-ap-img.jpg?scale=896&compress=80\u0022 alt=\u0022Teachers return to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Cp class=\u0022caption\u0022\u003EFaculty and staff greet police officers stationed outside of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School on February 28, 2018 in Parkland, Florida.  \u003Cspan class=\u0022credits\u0022\u003E(AP Photo \/ Matias J. 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\u003C\/span\u003E\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022cta\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenationwineclub.com\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Cinput type=\u0022button\u0022 class=\u0022btn btn_5000b2 para_one_button\u0022 name=\u0022submit_sailthru\u0022 value=\u0022LEARN MORE\u0022 style=\u0022\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tbackground-color:#dd3333;color:#ffffff;\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003C\/a\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003C\/div\u003E\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\u003C\/aside\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\u003Cscript\u003Eparagraph_module[274602] = [{\u0022order\u0022:\u00221\u0022,\u0022event_name\u0022:\u0022paragraph-1-email-signup\u0022,\u0022user_logged_in\u0022:\u00221\u0022},{\u0022order\u0022:\u00222\u0022,\u0022event_name\u0022:\u0022paragraph-1-subscribe\u0022,\u0022user_logged_in\u0022:\u00221\u0022},{\u0022order\u0022:\u00223\u0022,\u0022event_name\u0022:\u0022paragraph-1-donate\u0022,\u0022user_logged_in\u0022:\u0022\u0022},{\u0022order\u0022:\u00224\u0022,\u0022event_name\u0022:\u0022paragraph-1-takeaction\u0022,\u0022user_logged_in\u0022:\u0022\u0022},{\u0022order\u0022:\u00225\u0022,\u0022event_name\u0022:\u0022paragraph-1-travel\u0022,\u0022user_logged_in\u0022:\u0022\u0022},{\u0022order\u0022:\u00226\u0022,\u0022event_name\u0022:\u0022paragraph-1-wineclub\u0022,\u0022user_logged_in\u0022:\u0022\u0022}];\u003C\/script\u003E \u003Cp\u003E\u201cIt was no surprise to anyone who knew him to hear that\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cem\u003Ehe\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/em\u003Ewas the shooter,\u201d said \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2018\/02\/17\/us\/florida-student-emma-gonzalez-speech\/index.html\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003EEmma Gonzalez\u003C\/a\u003E, a senior at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School.\u003Caside class=\u0022ad right most-popular-plus-ad grey_back\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\u003Cdiv id=\u0022ad-halfpage-274602-0\u0022 class=\u0022sailthru_class_form\u0022\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\u003Ca href=\u0022http:\/\/www.thenation.com\/advertising-policy\u0022 class=\u0022ad-policy\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022\u003EAd Policy\u003C\/a\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003C\/aside\u003E\t\t\u003Cscript \u003E\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\tfunction load_article_ads(){\n\t\t\t\tif( jQuery(\u0022#ad-halfpage-274602-0\u0022).is(\u0022:empty\u0022) ){call_ad_new(\u0027halfpage\u0027,\u0027tn_article\u0027,\u0027ad-halfpage-274602-0\u0027,\u0027rectangle_1\u0027,{\u0022tn_author\u0022:\u0022\u0027belle-c\u0027\u0022,\u0022tn_articleid\u0022:274602,\u0022tn_ptype\u0022:\u0022article\u0022,\u0022tn_keyword\u0022:\u0022\u0027mass-shoot\u0027, \u0027nra\u0027, \u0027school-sho\u0027\u0022,\u0022tn_subject\u0022:\u0022\u0027activism\u0027, \u0027education\u0027, \u0027guns-and-g\u0027, \u0027politics\u0027, \u0027terrorism\u0027, \u0027youth\u0027\u0022,\u0022tn_slp\u0022:\u0022\u0022});}\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t}\t\n\t\n\t\t\tjQuery(\u0027#expand-reduce-274602\u0027).click(function(){\n\t\t\t\tif( isMobile.any() ){\n\t\t\t\t\tcall_ad_new(\u0027halfpage\u0027,\u0027tn_article\u0027,\u0027ad-halfpage-274602-0\u0027,\u0027rectangle_1\u0027,{\u0022tn_author\u0022:\u0022\u0027belle-c\u0027\u0022,\u0022tn_articleid\u0022:274602,\u0022tn_ptype\u0022:\u0022article\u0022,\u0022tn_keyword\u0022:\u0022\u0027mass-shoot\u0027, \u0027nra\u0027, \u0027school-sho\u0027\u0022,\u0022tn_subject\u0022:\u0022\u0027activism\u0027, \u0027education\u0027, \u0027guns-and-g\u0027, \u0027politics\u0027, \u0027terrorism\u0027, \u0027youth\u0027\u0022,\u0022tn_slp\u0022:\u0022\u0022});\t\n\t\t\t\t}\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t});\t\n\t\t\u003C\/script\u003E \n\t\t\n\u003Cp\u003EOver the past three weeks, the impassioned voices and steadfast demands of the students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School have resounded across social media and through the halls of the large suburban high school where I teach visual arts. A group of senior girls, spurred to action by the horrors of the Parkland massacre and emboldened by watching videos of its protesting students, organized a walkout of their own.  Though it was an uncharacteristically cold, snowy day in our part of Oregon, hundreds of students marched out of school, engaging in what was certainly, for many of them, their first act of civil disobedience.  I positioned myself near the back of the crowd, listening as they shouted their demands for safer schools and an end to fear in the classroom.  Standing on that icy sidewalk, I was overcome by waves of conflicting emotions.  Though deeply proud of them for raising their voices and insisting on being heard, I was also forced to confront a stark and brutal reality: neither my students nor I feel safe in our school.\n\u003Cp\u003EI still remember the cold December morning in 2012 when I first heard about the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.  A colleague walked up to my desk, tears streaming down her face.  She then recounted the grisly details of those shootings: A classroom of first graders and their teachers murdered on what should have been just another routine school day.\n\u003Cp\u003EAt the time, my daughter was a preschooler.  In those\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022http:\/\/www.dailymail.co.uk\/news\/article-2249694\/Sandy-Hook-shooting-The-tragic-school-picture-graders-gunned-Adam-Lanza.html\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003Eschool pictures\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003Ethat began appearing in the media of gap-toothed Sandy Hook first graders I saw her face.  I began to think about her future in such a world and it looked bleak.  From that moment on, I couldn\u2019t bear reading the stories of what had transpired within those school walls and so found myself avoiding the impassioned, anguished speeches of the brave parents and teachers of those senselessly slaughtered children.  It hit too close to home. It was horror on a level I had previously thought unimaginable and in a school not that different from mine. Naively, I assumed things would have to change, that nobody could look at those tiny little people and callously advocate for the status quo. How wrong I was. And as we all know, the shootings just kept happening.\u003Caside class=\u0022right hidden-on-mobile most-popular-plus-ad\u0022\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022most-popular hover_b_remove\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Ch3\u003EMost Popular\u003C\/h3\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022popular-article\u0022\u003E\u003Ch4\u003E1\u003C\/h4\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/article\/wrestling-in-with-kobe-bryants-forgotten-apology\/\u0022 onclick=\u0022ga(\u0027send\u0027, \u0027event\u0027, \u0027Most Popular\u0027, \u0027Click Most Popular\u0027, \u0027Wrestling With Kobe Bryant\u2019s Forgotten Apology\u0027,\u00270\u0027)\u0022\u003EWrestling With Kobe Bryant\u2019s Forgotten Apology\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022popular-article\u0022\u003E\u003Ch4\u003E2\u003C\/h4\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/article\/when-dccc-calls-hang-up-the-phone\/\u0022 onclick=\u0022ga(\u0027send\u0027, \u0027event\u0027, \u0027Most Popular\u0027, \u0027Click Most Popular\u0027, \u0027When the DCCC Calls, Hang Up the Phone\u0027,\u00270\u0027)\u0022\u003EWhen the DCCC Calls, Hang Up the Phone\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022popular-article\u0022\u003E\u003Ch4\u003E3\u003C\/h4\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/article\/why-today-is-a-sad-milestone-for-minimum-wage-workers\/\u0022 onclick=\u0022ga(\u0027send\u0027, \u0027event\u0027, \u0027Most Popular\u0027, \u0027Click Most Popular\u0027, \u0027Why Today Is a Sad Milestone for Minimum-Wage Workers\u0027,\u00270\u0027)\u0022\u003EWhy Today Is a Sad Milestone for Minimum-Wage Workers\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022popular-article\u0022\u003E\u003Ch4\u003E4\u003C\/h4\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/article\/nra-tv-is-no-joke\/\u0022 onclick=\u0022ga(\u0027send\u0027, \u0027event\u0027, \u0027Most Popular\u0027, \u0027Click Most Popular\u0027, \u0027NRA TV Is No Joke\u0027,\u00270\u0027)\u0022\u003ENRA TV Is No Joke\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022popular-article\u0022\u003E\u003Ch4\u003E5\u003C\/h4\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/article\/the-left-needs-to-care-about-the-opioid-crisis\/\u0022 onclick=\u0022ga(\u0027send\u0027, \u0027event\u0027, \u0027Most Popular\u0027, \u0027Click Most Popular\u0027, \u0027The Left Needs to Care About the Opioid Crisis\u0027,\u00270\u0027)\u0022\u003EThe Left Needs to Care About the Opioid Crisis\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/aside\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESo what was it about the Parkland killings that tipped the scale?  Why hadn\u2019t this happened after Columbine or Newtown?  These are among the questions we teachers have been asking one another at my school recently.  Perhaps what\u2019s driving this moment is fear of the seeming inevitability, the not-if-but-when of it all.  As teachers, we are forced to wonder: When will it be our turn?  When will we bar the doors, fight, run, or hide?  When will despair be given a physical form in the shape of a teenager with a gun and our school turned into a shooting gallery for the deranged?\n\u003Cp\u003EAt this point, we\u2019ve been practicing lockdown drills for years. We lock and block the doors, then huddle on the floor in the darkest corners of our classroom, 36 teenagers and one adult trying to be as quiet as possible. No phones, no talking, no movement. We wait for the rattle of the door handle, at least one of us cries, and then it\u2019s over. The all-clear.\n\u003Cp\u003EWe turn on the lights, stretch our cramped limbs, and return to our seats.  I tell a joke, try to lighten the mood a bit, and resume class.  One grim effect of these drills and procedures, though, is to normalize the threat of an act so heinous, so abnormal it\u2019s hard to take in.  We\u2019ve essentially desensitized our entire school community to the true horror of what we\u2019re playing out\u2014a fight for our lives.  We expect the routines of the classroom to resume once the lights come back on, hoping that the students will have grasped the seriousness of the drill but won\u2019t have internalized the fear.  That none of us will.  When my students voice the fear that sits inside them in that darkened room, when they give the despair space to breathe in the light, we\u2019re all forced to confront the twisted reality of what we\u2019re doing.\t\t\u003Caside class=\u0022left indent indents current-issue\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Ch4\u003ECurrent Issue\u003C\/h4\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\u0022current-blocks\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/issue\/march-19-26-2018-issue\/\u0022 class=\u0022no-target-blank\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Cimg src=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/cover0326-1.jpg\u0022 alt=\u0022\u0022\/\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003C\/a\u003E\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003C\/div\u003E\t\t\t\t\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022current-blocks\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/issue\/march-19-26-2018-issue\/\u0022 class=\u0022textred-highlighted\u0022\u003EView our current issue\u003C\/a\u003E\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022magazine_text\u0022 id=\u0022magazine_text_274602\u0022\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022cta magazine_button\u0022 id=\u0022magazine_button_274602\u0022\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\u003C\/aside\u003E\t\t\n\t\t\u003Cscript 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){\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tjQuery(\u0022#magazine_button_274602\u0022).html(magazine_button_text_274602);\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tif( magazine_button_url_274602 !=\u0027\u0027 ){\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tjQuery(\u0022#magazine_button_274602 a\u0022).attr(\u0022href\u0022,magazine_button_url_274602);\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tif( magazine_button_bg_color_274602 !=\u0027\u0027 ){\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tjQuery(\u0022#magazine_button_274602 a input\u0022).css(\u0022background\u0022,magazine_button_bg_color_274602);\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\u003C\/script\u003E\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\u003Cp\u003EAt the beginning of the semester, I gave my new students a questionnaire about their lives. One of them answered the question \u201cWhat is one thing that really stresses you out?\u201d by writing: \u201cWhat really stresses me out is the fact that I might die in this building.\u201d\n\u003Cp\u003EI had no idea how to respond because, honestly, I feel the same way.  How do I convey what it feels like to walk into your workplace every morning wondering if today is the day you\u2019ll die there?  How do I explain the trepidation I feel when I have to confront that student\u2014the one who\u2019s been making the disturbing art, doesn\u2019t smile or interact with his peers, and whose parents won\u2019t return my emails or calls\u2014to tell him that he needs to tone down the violence in his work?  How do I share my deepest fear that this is the kid who will come back for me later, armed and ready to exact his revenge?\n\u003Cp\u003EHow do I express the complexity of the emotions I feel when I\u2019m huddling in the dark with my students, thinking about what it would take for all of us to make it out of the building alive in a real version of the same situation? And how do I begin to think about the worst possible scenario, that the sixteen-year-old kid crouched next to me in the dark is the next school shooter?  In the heightened paranoia of my classroom, my students are now suspects.\n\u003Ch6\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003ETeachers as Martyrs?\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/h6\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EI imagine every new teacher arrives with some version of the story of the triumphant teacher who takes a ragtag group of students from disarray to academic excellence playing in the back of his or her mind. That cinematic dreamscape is often discarded as the years go by. If you\u2019re actually going to survive in the system, tough it out for the long haul, certain illusions must be shed. Almost a third of all new teachers\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/news\/answer-sheet\/wp\/2017\/11\/27\/why-its-a-big-problem-that-so-many-teachers-quit-and-what-to-do-about-it\/?utm_term=.4fc01dfeeb97\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003Ejump ship\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003Eby year three when the challenges of the profession\u2014the long hours, the constant planning, the never-ending grading, and the worries about meeting the intellectual and emotional needs of our students\u2014begin to seem unsustainable.\t\t\u003Caside id=\u0022inline_cta_1_module_274602\u0022 class=\u0022inline-cta-1\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022inline-cta-blocks\u0022 id=\u0022inline_cta_274602\u0022\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022cta\u0022 id=\u0022inline_cta_btn_274602\u0022\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\u003C\/aside\u003E\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\u003Cscript \u003E\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tvar inline_cta_text_274602            = \u0027\u0027;\n\t\t\tvar inline_cta_button_text_274602     = \u0027\u0027;\n\t\t\tvar inline_cta_url_274602             = \u0027\u0027;\n\t\t\tvar inline_cta_bg_color_274602        = \u0027\u0027;\n\t\t\tvar inline_cta_font_color_274602      = \u0027\u0027;\n\t\t\tvar cta_1_check_274602  = false; 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It was a numbers game that I would always lose and that was a truth I had to embrace in order to become a more effective educator.\n\u003Cp\u003ENevertheless, the archetype of the teacher-martyr who toils late into the night, sacrificing her personal life in order to focus solely on her students, is one we\u2019ve bought into as a culture.  The story we tell is that teachers are superhuman, capable of reversing any tide, remedying any hurt, and counteracting the problems of our society by sheer focus, persistence, and care. If I just devote myself more, put in longer hours, and implement a better curriculum, I\u2019ll ultimately save them all.  Being this martyr is a badge of honor in the school itself, a symbol of who is doing the best work.  I can\u2019t help but wonder, though: Isn\u2019t martyring oneself by taking a bullet for our students the ultimate expression of this archetype? Isn\u2019t this what is, post-Parkland, now being demanded of us?\t\u003Caside class=\u0022ad-300\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022ad full-width-mobile inline_ad_300x250_274602\u0022 id=\u0022inline_ad_300x250_274602\u0022\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\u003C\/aside\u003E\n\t\n\t\u003Cscript \u003E\n\t\t\/*\n\t\t * Article Inline Ads Calling\n\t\t *\/\n\t\tfunction inline_ad( articlePostId ){\n\t\t\tif( jQuery(\u0027#inline_ad_300x250_\u0027+articlePostId+\u0027\u0027).is(\u0027:empty\u0027) ){\n\t\t\t\tvar targetingArray              = new Array();\n\t\t\t\ttargetingArray[\u0027tn_author\u0027]     = [\u0027belle-c\u0027];\n\t\t\t\ttargetingArray[\u0027tn_articleid\u0027]  = [274602];\n\t\t\t\ttargetingArray[\u0027tn_ptype\u0027]      = [\u0027article\u0027];\n\t\t\t\ttargetingArray[\u0027tn_keyword\u0027]    = [\u0027mass-shoot\u0027, \u0027nra\u0027, \u0027school-sho\u0027];\n\t\t\t\ttargetingArray[\u0027tn_subject\u0027]    = [\u0027activism\u0027, \u0027education\u0027, \u0027guns-and-g\u0027, \u0027politics\u0027, \u0027terrorism\u0027, \u0027youth\u0027];\n\t\t\t\ttargetingArray[\u0027tn_slp\u0027]        = []; \n\t\t\t\tcall_ad_new(\u0027halfpage250\u0027,\u0027tn_article\u0027,\u0027inline_ad_300x250_\u0027+articlePostId+\u0027\u0027,\u0027rectangle_4\u0027,targetingArray);\t\t\n\t\t\t}\t\t\t\n\t\t} \t\t\n\t\u003C\/script\u003E\n\t\n\u003Cp\u003EThis uniquely American myth of the teacher who provides salvation for each student is the one we\u2019ve now ascribed to the teachers at Parkland who threw their bodies in front of bullets to save their students\u2019 lives. And while I\u2019m awed by their bravery, I\u2019m still willing to question the motivations behind those,\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2018\/02\/26\/us\/politics\/trump-school-shooter-florida.html\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003Eincluding\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003Ethe president of the United States, holding them up as icons.\n\u003Cp\u003EPerhaps valorizing teachers as heroes is simply another way of continually refusing to honor and respect the profession in the ways that actually matter. Heroes don\u2019t need smaller class sizes, benefits or adequate retirement accounts. The truth is, those teachers should never have had to put their lives on the line for their students. It wasn\u2019t their job. We are not warriors, we are teachers. We are not heroes, we are teachers.\n\u003Ch6\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EWhen Dreams Fail\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/h6\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003EMy last year of classroom teaching has been the most demanding. Not only because of the subjects I teach, my class sizes, or workload, but because of the mounting stress I feel from my students. Our children are the canaries in our American coal mine (an image that has\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/news\/energy-environment\/wp\/2017\/03\/29\/trump-promised-to-bring-back-coal-jobs-that-promise-will-not-be-kept-experts-say\/?utm_term=.d22e6a47c55c\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003Enew meaning\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003Ein the Trump era). When I ask them about their\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2017\/10\/11\/magazine\/why-are-more-american-teenagers-than-ever-suffering-from-severe-anxiety.html\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003Emental health\u003C\/a\u003E, I\u2019m always overwhelmed by how many of them admit to depression and anxiety. They\u2019re constantly exhausted and stressed out.  So many of them express a simmering despair about their future. And how can I argue with that?  When you\u2019re huddled in the corner of a dark classroom, practicing for your own death, it\u2019s difficult to feel as if there\u2019s any hope for a decent future.\n\u003Cp\u003EI\u2019m no longer na\u00efvely dreaming of changing the lives of each of my students. My goals have narrowed: To get the kids to invest in learning, to be an advocate for them, to listen to them, to create a relevant curriculum, to turn the classroom into a vital and thriving place.  In any given semester, I make it a priority to quickly learn the names of my more than two hundred students, to check in with them as frequently as I can and attempt to attend to each of their unique and complex individual needs.\n\u003Cp\u003EI try to put whatever extra energy and attention I have into working with my more marginalized students, knowing that, as a white, middle-class woman, they likely will see me as an agent of a system that reinforces preexisting layers of alienation.  However, I no longer feel as if I can save any of them.  I don\u2019t even feel that that\u2019s my job.  My job is to provide a space for inquiry and expression.\n\u003Cp\u003EIf I do that job well, I\u2019ll at least assist my students in finding their own voices. But believe me, it\u2019s a Sisyphean task.  They\u2019re teenagers after all.  Their emotional landscapes change minute by minute, day by day. They walk into my classroom with 15 to 18 years of lived experience, products of their family dynamics and their community. The hours I spend with them, no matter how impactful, cannot out-compete those actualities. Some of them will feel seen and heard in my classroom, and some of them, no matter what I do, will feel invisible, unseen, and lost.\n\u003Ch6\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EPulling the Trigger\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/h6\u003E\n\u003Cp\u003ESchool is the place where adolescents experiment with the lofty promises of the American Dream.  We teachers deliver the message that you can be anything, do anything.  Study hard enough and you\u2019ll make something of yourself in your life, no matter the challenges along the way.  Make friends, get yourself a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and you\u2019ll climb that social ladder.  Find your path and your talent and the world will be yours for the taking.\t\t\n\t\t\u003Caside id=\u0022inline_cta_2_module_274602\u0022 class=\u0022inline-cta-2\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022inline-cta-blocks\u0022 id=\u0022inline_cta_2_274602\u0022\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022cta\u0022 id=\u0022inline_cta_2_btn_274602\u0022\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\t\t\u003C\/aside\u003E\n\t\t\n\t\t\u003Cscript \u003E\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tvar inline_cta_2_text_274602            = \u0027\u0027;\n\t\t\tvar inline_cta_2_button_text_274602     = \u0027\u0027;\n\t\t\tvar inline_cta_2_url_274602             = \u0027\u0027;\n\t\t\tvar inline_cta_2_bg_color_274602        = \u0027\u0027;\n\t\t\tvar inline_cta_2_font_color_274602      = \u0027\u0027;\n\t\t\tvar cta_2_check_274602  = false;  \n\t\t\tvar is_user_logged_in = getCookie(\u0027SESSname\u0027);\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\tif( is_user_logged_in != null ){\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tinline_cta_2_text_274602 = \u0027\u003Ch4\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EGive a gift subscription today!\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/h4\u003E\u003Cp\u003EKnow someone who would like \u003Cem\u003EThe Nation\u003C\/em\u003E?\u003C\/p\u003E\u0027;\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tinline_cta_2_font_color_274602 = \u0027#ffffff\u0027;\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tinline_cta_2_button_text_274602 = \u0027\u003Ca href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022\u003E\u003Cinput type=\u0022button\u0022 class=\u0022btn\u0022 name=\u0022submit_sailthru\u0022 value=\u0022GIVE A GIFT\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u0027;\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tinline_cta_2_url_274602 = \u0027https:\/\/ssl.palmcoastd.com\/06601\/apps\/GFTOPTION1LANDING?ikey=I**GF2\u0027;\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tinline_cta_2_bg_color_274602 = \u0027#cc0e0e\u0027;\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t}else{\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tinline_cta_2_text_274602 = \u0027\u003Ch4\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003ESubscribe to \u003Cem\u003EThe Nation\u003C\/em\u003E\u00a0 for $2 a month.\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/h4\u003E\u003Cp\u003EGet unlimited digital access to the best independent news and analysis.\u003C\/p\u003E\u0027;\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tinline_cta_2_font_color_274602 = \u0027#ffffff\u0027;\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tinline_cta_2_button_text_274602 = \u0027\u003Ca href=\u0022javascript:void(0)\u0022\u003E\u003Cinput type=\u0022button\u0022 class=\u0022btn btn_ffcf0d\u0022 name=\u0022submit_sailthru\u0022 value=\u0022Subscribe\u0022\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u0027;\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tinline_cta_2_url_274602 = \u0027https:\/\/tna.pcdfusion.com\/pcd\/Order?iKey=I**GAC\u0027;\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\tinline_cta_2_bg_color_274602 = \u0027#cc0e0e\u0027;\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\tif( inline_cta_2_text_274602 !=\u0027\u0027 ){\n\t\t\t\tjQuery(\u0022#inline_cta_2_274602\u0022).html(inline_cta_2_text_274602);\n\t\t\t\tcta_2_check_274602 = true;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tif( inline_cta_2_button_text_274602 !=\u0027\u0027 ){\n\t\t\t\tjQuery(\u0022#inline_cta_2_btn_274602\u0022).html(inline_cta_2_button_text_274602);\n\t\t\t\tcta_2_check_274602 = true;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tif( inline_cta_2_url_274602 !=\u0027\u0027 ){\n\t\t\t\tjQuery(\u0022#inline_cta_2_btn_274602 a\u0022).attr(\u0022href\u0022,inline_cta_2_url_274602);\n\t\t\t\tcta_2_check_274602 = true;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tif( inline_cta_2_bg_color_274602 !=\u0027\u0027 ){\n\t\t\t\tjQuery(\u0022#inline_cta_2_btn_274602 a input\u0022).css(\u0022background\u0022,inline_cta_2_bg_color_274602);\n\t\t\t\tcta_2_check_274602 = true;\n\t\t\t}\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tif( inline_cta_2_font_color_274602 !=\u0027\u0027 ){\n\t\t\t\tjQuery(\u0022#inline_cta_2_btn_274602 a input\u0022).css(\u0022color\u0022,inline_cta_2_font_color_274602);\n\t\t\t\tcta_2_check_274602 = true;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tif( cta_2_check_274602 ){\n\t\t\t\tjQuery(\u0022#inline_cta_2_module_274602\u0022).addClass(\u0022inline-cta-module\u0022);\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\u003C\/script\u003E\n\t\t\n\t\n\u003Cp\u003EAs educators we know that there\u2019s no one more passionate and engaged than a teenager doing what she or he loves.  Tap into that intensity and myopic focus and you have the potential for genuine pedagogical alchemy.  But what if all the promises that we (and so many others) implicitly or explicitly make prove remarkably out of reach and those same students are increasingly aware of that?  What if you\u2019re a student of color or an undocumented student and the American Dream was never promised to you in the first place?  What if you don\u2019t make friends easily? What if the emotional stresses you carry with you are too heavy and all school represents is a relentless reminder of them?  What if, like the society it\u2019s part of, school becomes a place for failure, not possibility? \n\u003Cp\u003EIf teenagers excel at one thing, it\u2019s sniffing out hypocrisy. Kids can see through the veneers of so many promises. And the kids any teacher now sees are likely to be wondering:  What\u2019s really there for them in this world we\u2019ve built?  What hurts have gone unnoticed, unattended?\n\u003Cp\u003EIs it any wonder that the most disgruntled among them, those who feel most betrayed by the broken promise of that dream, return to the place they feel failed them the most, the institution society promised would provide them with salvation and so obviously didn\u2019t?  They bring with them their failed social and familial relationships, their realization that the dream was never for them in the first place, and\u2014in a rising number of cases\u2014\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2018\/02\/25\/business\/gun-show-tampa-parkland.html\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003EAR-15s\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003Eor other deadly weaponry. They cash that voided check by pulling the trigger, decimating that illusion, and possibly ending the lives of students and teachers while they\u2019re at it.\n\u003Cp\u003EShooting that gun is the last act of personal agency these boys\u2014and so far they are\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2018\/02\/17\/us\/mass-murderers.html\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003Eboys\u003C\/a\u003E\u2014have to offer.  That myopia and total focus, which leads to death in our schools, reflects the despair and nihilism seen in many of these shooters.  It\u2019s something that, at least at a lesser level, should be familiar to any classroom teacher these days. Think of the nameless, faceless frustration and despair that drives a child to pick up weapons of war and wantonly kill as the failure of the American Dream played out in blood.\n\u003Cp\u003EDear America: You\u2019ve given me an impossible task and condemned me for my failure to perform it. Now, you\u2014or at least the\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/us-news\/2018\/feb\/21\/donald-trump-solution-to-school-shootings-arm-teachers-with-guns\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003Epresident\u003C\/a\u003E, the\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2018\/02\/26\/588865775\/renewing-call-to-arm-teachers-trump-tells-governors-the-nra-is-on-our-side\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003ENRA\u003C\/a\u003E, and various\u003Cspan\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022http:\/\/thehill.com\/blogs\/blog-briefing-room\/news\/374159-nc-state-rep-calls-for-teachers-to-be-armed-we-have-to-get-over\u0022 target=\u0022_blank\u0022 rel=\u0022noopener\u0022\u003Epoliticians\u2014\u003C\/a\u003Eassure me that I can redeem myself by holding a gun, firing back, and so blasting away the despair.  No, thank you: I do not want to hold that gun and cannot be that shield.  Neither figuratively nor physically can I save my students.\n\u003Cp\u003EWhat we are asking of our children, our teachers, and our schools is unlike anything we ask of any individuals or any institution.  We are martyring our children on the altar of society\u2019s failed promises and then we wonder why they keep coming back with guns in their hands.\n\t\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003C\/section\u003E\n\n\u003Csection class=\u0022aside-wrap\u0022\u003E\u003C\/section\u003E\n\u003Cfooter class=\u0022article-footer narrow new-article-footer\u0022 id=\u0022article-footer-274602\u0022\u003E\n\n\t\u003Cdiv class=\u0022footer-module narrow author-bio\u0022\u003E\n\t\t\n\t\t\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/www.thenation.com\/authors\/belle-chesler\/\u0022\u003E Belle Chesler\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EBelle Chesler is a visual arts teacher in Beaverton, Oregon.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cbr\/\u003E\t\t\n\t\u003C\/div\u003E\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003Cdiv 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