"Turkey in the straw/Turkey in the straw/Roll ’em up and twist ’em up/A high tuck a-haw."
Part The First: Because it’s the week that it is, and because she simply will not go away and leave me and English syntax alone, I thought, well, hell, why not bring back the greatest live shot in the history of American POLITICS(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJd_vm9VhpU). And, the best scene in the history of your buddy Sorkin’s PROGRAM.
Part The Second: THE saddest story of the week. If you don’t know why, you weren’t at Marquette University in the 1970’s. My god, we had fun. Be well, Dream.
Part The Third: Here’s a Fun Holiday Game.Please count up the number of far-too-obvious straight lines containedin this single blog POST. Sometimes, the fish are too big and the barrel is too small.
Part The Fourth: The Youthful Quota Hire goes unicorn HUNTING. Sorry, lad.
You have attached yourself to the PartyOf Stupid, and it is the Party Of Stupid because you and it have beenproduced by the Movement Of Stupid. (There’s this BOOK that explains how this happened. Ask Santa for it.) Also, PAUL RYAN, has been known to play to The Stupid. People laugh at him, too. Youreally gotta get out more.
Part The Penultimate: Apropos of last week’s visit to Doc’s JOINT, I present the Gobsmack Of The WEEK. Nice hire, fellas. Really.
Part The Ultimate: It is early days, surely, but, at the moment,there is absolutely no way on god’s earth that I would vote to re-elect Barack Obama as President of the United States. I always had my DOUBTS. But I was willing to ride the train in order to keep the government out of the hands of a bunch of undereducated paranoid lunatics, which I didn’t see as very high a bar, truth be told. I do not underestimate the size of the problems he was handed last January with two badly run wars and one badly run economy. But, all Lilly Ledbetters aside, it is becoming increasingly plain that the man is not up to the most important job he was elected to do–which is to wring the accumulated viciousness, ignorance, and hackery of the past eight years out of the various parts of the United States government–and to do it brutally, if necessary, which it is. One of our two major political parties has completely lost its mind. This should be a political issue. It is incumbent upon the other party to eliminate that party’s influence until it purges itself and comes to its senses again. It also scarcely needs to be said that the sane party has to watch its own ranks for people who seem to be enabling and abetting the goals of the crazy party. Otherwise, as Ezra Klein memorably put it this week, every attempt at bipartisanship winds up as "a hostage negotiation." President Obama–and does anyone but me notice that he gets the honorific conspicuously less often on TV than the last guy did?– ot only seems unequal to this task, he doesn’t even seem to recognize the task at all. He wasn’t elected to change the tone, dammit. He was elected to change everything because everything needed to be changed. So it’s a hard goddamn job. So what? He didn’t know this coming in? Now we’re going to feed 34,000 more American kids into the meat grinder in Afghanistan because we’re America and we can do anything we set our minds to? Hell, we can’t even keep our own citizens alive by breaking the power of the health-insurance industry. We can’t right our economy because it’s stillin the hands of Wall Street grifters, and the government has fallen into the thrall of a bunch of banker-morons I wouldn’t trust with a potatogun. Some people needed to be crushed politically. Some people needed togo to jail. Some people needed to be exiled forever from the seriousbusiness of self-government. It’s Black Friday, and I’m shopping for another candidate. I’m beating the rush.