(Sung by the CIA Chorus to the tune of “Matchmaker, Matchmaker”)

Blackwater Guards Tied to Secret Raids by C.I.A.
      –headline in the New York Times

Blackwater, Blackwater,
You’ve got the knack.
Let’s snatch and grab
All through Iraq.
Blackwater, Blackwater,
Earn lots of jack
By joining us in the attack.

Reports we simply can fake up.
Who cares for the laws we may flout?
The rules are our rules to make up,
So some dirty business is contracted out.

Blackwater, Blackwater,
No one keeps track.
Let’s snatch and grab.
Let’s take a crack.
Blackwater, Blackwater,
Smack bad guys back
In ops that are Blackwater black.