In his first weeks as president, Donald J. Trump(™) has objectively beaten the disgraced former president Barack Obama. From executive orders to the hotness of the first family, experts  maintain that President Trump’s legacy(™) has already outdone that of his predecessor. A cursory look at the masses of people marching in the streets—so happy about the election they can’t hold back tears—shows that so far, it’s Trump 1, Obama -44.
The winning has gotten so bad that a huge number of very important scientists from the science community question whether Barack Obama ever actually was president of the United States—or whether he was some sort of mass hallucination induced by decades of America not winning enough. You won’t see this winning reported in the shamestream media. But we at Newsbroke on AJ+, though currently operating without the benefit of the White House press credentials that some “journalists” take for granted, hold these half-truths to be self-evident: that all facts are created equal, even the “alternative” ones.
The blamestream media, aka the Lying Press(™), would have you believe that America is not winning and that only Donald J. Trump(™), his friends in the fossil-fuel industry, and his immediate family are. But we at Newsbroke, aka the Truthing Press(™), have it on good authority that this is just another piece of Fake News(™) from the flamestream media and liberal Twitter-feedia. White House press secretary and all-around neat guy Sean Spicer has made this clear: “Because Donald Trump considers every American to be family,” he announced, “every American is, in fact, winning.”
And still some so-called journalists are clinging to their lies about Trump’s lack of winning, pointing to his presidential approval ratings, the lowest in recorded history. But their data fail to take into account the tremendous ratings for his 15 seasons on The Apprentice, which, when averaged out, completely and totally beat the recent Arnold Schwarzenegger–hosted season, as well as Schwarzenegger’s approval ratings as governor of California and the Rotten Tomatoes rating for The Expendables 3. Also, True Lies went over budget by $10 million, and Schwarzenegger didn’t do any of his own stunts because he couldn’t lay off the craft-service snack table.