‘Sixteen Little Words’ ‘Sixteen Little Words’
(From the new musical by George Bush & Karl Rove, The Buck Stops There.)
Jul 31, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Truth Emerges, Sort Of The Truth Emerges, Sort Of
Aha! So Tenet is the guy Responsible for Bush's lie About the Niger A-bomb deal That from the start was quite unreal. The Niger lie's off Tenet's chest.
Jul 17, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Summary of Justice Antonin Scalia’s Dissent In Lawrence v. Texas A Summary of Justice Antonin Scalia’s Dissent In Lawrence v. Texas
So what if it's private, in their hacienda? It's sodomy still, and enough to offend a Respectable man, and we must never lend a Leg up to that vile homosexual agenda!
Jul 2, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Photo, With Caption, in the New York Times A Photo, With Caption, in the New York Times
Dejectedly, a man sits on the ground. The man has been detained. His hands are bound. His crime is truly simple to explain: Possessing pictures of Saddam Hussein.
Jun 26, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
The Ballad of Private Lynch The Ballad of Private Lynch
Preferring death to getting caught, She emptied weapons as she fought. Though shot and stabbed she didn't flinch. She battled on, did Private Lynch. Or did she?
Jun 19, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld And, Alas, Powell Talk To the American People Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld And, Alas, Powell Talk To the American People
They pushed the CIA to say That nukes could quickly come our way-- Saddam might, with a finger snap, Remove Chicago from the map.
Jun 12, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Report on the Search For Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, From the Republican Military Command (Karl Rove, Lt. General, Commanding) Report on the Search For Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, From the Republican Military Command (Karl Rove, Lt. General, Commanding)
We can't yet find the nukes and gas, Though we have looked in every section. But we may find them in Iran-- And just before the next election.
Jun 5, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
We’re Safe From Saddam We’re Safe From Saddam
A Joyous Song of Deliverance for Spring
May 29, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Thoughts of Those Who Served in George W. Bush’s Air National Guard Unit Thoughts of Those Who Served in George W. Bush’s Air National Guard Unit
When he lands on the deck in his flight suit To impress all the sailors he's greeting, It looks grand, but there's one thing we're thinking:
May 22, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Wal-Mart Bans Maxim, Stuff and FHM Wal-Mart Bans Maxim, Stuff and FHM
Now Wal-Mart's banned those mags for lads But so far hasn't banned the scads Of other soft-core porn on view-- Like busty dolls that do kung fu,
May 15, 2003 / Column / Calvin Trillin