In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, state lawmakers end the highly controversial process.
"A premise like this can go on for a generation," says CNN President Jonathan Klein.
Pentagon briefings won't be the same.
Resounding victories in all states, counties, cities, towns.
At least one person in the GOP might feel relieved.
Following Thursday's gruesome discovery of the remains of former Blossom star Joey Lawrence, law enforcement officials are feverishly speculating on the identity of the killer's next victim.
November 8, 2006
WASHINGTON, DC--After nearly six years of much-publicized service as Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld announced his resignation Wednesday afternoon, saying that he had "proudly accomplished everything [he'd] set out to bungle." "Years ago, I decided to bog this great nation down in an extended, grueling foreign occupation, and I'm happy to say that's exactly what I've done," said Rumsfeld in a farewell address at the White House, during which he urged Americans to continue waging the ill-conceived, mismanaged, and evidently unwelcome fight for democracy in the Middle East. "Each of my actions--from undersupplying troops with body armor to focusing on capturing Saddam Hussein while Osama bin Laden remained free--has led America inexorably toward our current state of extreme crisis. Well, anyway, goodbye!" President Bush expressed confidence that Robert Gates, his new nominee for Secretary of Defense, will be able to "fuck everything up the rest of the way."
Hint: It starts with the M-word.
The National Republican Congressional Committee allocates its remaining $256 million cash-on-hand to an Arizona incumbent in the hopes of retaining at least one House seat.