{Empty title} | The Nation

Many of you have heard that healthcare reform is now as good as done. The fascist Democrat Party has prevailed. The following is now about to happen. Be prepared.

All women will become barren within ten years.

The government will not only kill your grandmother but your disabled little sister as well.

The most popular weekday, Friday, will now be abolished (unless your favorite is Saturday. In that case Saturday will be abolished).

You will be forced to have a gay marriage and all women aged 16-34 will have compulsory abortions.

Children will now have to salute a Cuban flag while denying the existence of God each morning before class.

Pictures of Nancy Pelosi must be prominently displayed in all medical facilities.

Earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, wild fires and other natural disasters will increase a hundredfold.

Babies will no longer laugh, orgasms will decrease in intensity and don't even get me started on the black helicopters.

You have been warned. All of the above is 100 percent true. If you don't believe it, just consult the e-mails of all your hysterical right-wing friends or tune in to Glen Beck's show.