Even Then Maybe

Not spent   those bloodshot friendships   those
soul-marriages sealed and torn
those smiles of pain
I told her a mouthful
I shut my mouth against him
Throat thick with tears
how words sound when you swallow
--and under the roof
of the mouth   long stroke
reaching from the tongue's root

No, I was not living with her at the time
At the time I was not living
with him, at the time we were living together
I was living with neither of them
--was dwelling you could say
But as for living at that time
we were all living together with many others
for whom living was precisely the question

Haven't seen evenings like that since
vesuvian emerald to brass dissolving
--a sentence you'd waited for
taken back half-spoken--
Luxury even then maybe
evenings like those

Subscriber Login

User Name

Password

Subscribe Now!

The only way to read this article and the full contents of each week's issue of The Nation online is by subscribing to the magazine. Subscribe now and read this article -- and every article published since for the past five years -- right now.

There's no obligation -- try The Nation for four weeks free.

• Get The Nation at home (and online!) for 68 cents a week!
• If you like this article, consider making a donation to The Nation.
• Reprint this article. Click here for rights and information.