George Bush Explains His Policy on Torture To Someone Being Wate

deadline Poet

By Calvin Trillin

This article appeared in the October 2, 2006 edition of The Nation.

September 14, 2006

An "alternate set of procedures" Is what we're applying right now. So please don't confuse this with torture, That's something I'd never allow.

I know when you feel you are drowning, You're thinking, "They're torturing me!" But torture is not what we call it, So torture it simply can't be.

You're lucky Americans got you, If torture's the thing that you dread. An alternate set of procedures Is what we're applying instead.

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About Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin is The Nation's "deadline poet." He has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1963 and has written the syndicated weekly column "Uncivil Liberties" since 1986. He has authored many, many books, including Tepper's Not Going Out and Deadline Poet: My Life as a Doggerelist. more...
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