The Nation.



Presidential Eating Preferences

Deadline Poet

By Calvin Trillin

This article appeared in the September 11, 2006 edition of The Nation.

August 24, 2006

Each President had favorite foods that we
Identify with him. We still can see
Dick Nixon following some global crise While pouring ketchup on his cottage cheese.
Those grits were loved by Carter best of all--
For eating or for Spackle-ing a wall.
And Reagan, though his mind might wander far
In meetings, he could focus on that jar
Of jelly beans and know just where he was.
Bill Clinton, doing what a bad boy does,
Ignored what all the doctors had advised him
And ate Big Macs until they supersized him.
For LBJ so many 'cue pits burned,
It looked as if the British had returned.
Bush One? By eating pork rinds and not crêpe, he
Believed we wouldn't see him as a preppy.

So what does this Bush eat? We just don't know
We do know, though, what he won't eat is crow--
As if some allergy or something makes
Him sprout a rash if he admits mistakes.
"Just have a taste," say critics of the war.
"It's much like quail, which you and Dick adore.
One bite? This dish is yummy, and homemade.
Admit it was an error to invade."
He won't eat crow. No crow. No, not a bite.
He's never wrong, cause Jesus makes him right.
"Just taste," they say. "We've added some Tabasco.
Eat crow and put an end to this fiasco."
Bush says, "I'm hungry. I could eat a horse,
But not a crow. We have to stay the course."
"This course is crow," they say. "If you'll just try,
We'll get you for dessert some humble pie."

Subscriber Login

4 ISSUES FREE

Subscribe Now!

The only way to read this article and the full contents of each week's issue of The Nation online is by subscribing to the magazine. Subscribe now and read this article -- and every article published since for the past five years -- right now.

There's no obligation -- try The Nation for four weeks free.

.

About Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin is The Nation's "deadline poet." He has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1963 and has written the syndicated weekly column "Uncivil Liberties" since 1986. He has authored many, many books, including Tepper's Not Going Out and Deadline Poet: My Life as a Doggerelist. more...

Popular Topics
Most Searched

Issues »

Most Emailed

Issues »

Blogs

» Campaign 08

Cindy Sheehan is Putting Impeachment on the Table | A peace activist's independent campaign prods Speaker Pelosi.
John Nichols

» The Notion

Fox News Attacked by Rapper, Blackroots & Colbert | Fox's worst nightmare: Liberal bloggers and Black hip hop.
Ari Melber

» The Beat

Obama Sets the Right Middle East Peace Timeline | Like Carter, he says he would start working on inauguration day.
John Nichols

» Capitolism

Why Air Travel Sux: An Explanation | An airline expert responds to our irresponsible bashing of big air.
Christopher Hayes

» The Dreyfuss Report

Back in the USSR | Russia hinting about challenges to US in Cuba and Venezuela. Sound like the good old days?
Robert Dreyfuss

» ActNow!

Send Karl Rove to Jail | The former Bush advisor regards the law with contempt, so it's time the law and Congress hold him in contempt as well.
Peter Rothberg

» Editor's Cut

Rethinking Afghanistan | There is no easy answer but we need to think beyond the reflexive response of troop escalation in order to find sane and humane alternatives.
Katrina vanden Heuvel

» Passing Through

In Youth Organizing, the Old Becomes New Again | Organizational models and institutions from the 2004 election are beginning to see a revival in 2008.
Michael Connery

» And Another Thing

McCain Opposes Contraception -- Pass It On | He's for Viagra and against the pill. Why won't the media cover this important story?
Katha Pollitt