November 6, 1995
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Competitive Sliming
Calvin Trillin: At least McCain's being creative.
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A Citizen Who Has Tried to Keep Informed Addresses Those Covering the 2008 Presidential Election
Calvin Trillin: From the pulpit to the polling booth.
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John McCain, Demonstrating His Intention to Make Inroads Among African-American Voters...
Calvin Trillin: But guess who showed up instead?
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Patriotism, 2008
Calvin Trillin: What's that on your lapel?
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Stephen Hadley Says an Olympic Boycott Is a 'Cop-out' on the Tib
Calvin Trillin: Just keep it coming.
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Filling Mark Penn's Somewhat Mucky Shoes
Calvin Trillin: Don't these people ever learn?
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On the Struggle For The Democratic Nomination
Calvin Trillin: The race is theirs to lose.
Post-Election Coverage of Saddam Hussein's 100-0 Victory Over Nobody
Consultants do not offer quotes
Interpreting the blocs of votes.
He got them all. With such a win
There's hardly any need for spin.
For drama, though, you'd think that he'd
Have one opponent, to concede.
March 25, 1991
A Short Military Biography of Saddam Hussein
This guy who often said he'd smash us
flat in one battle
turned out to be what Texans call
all hat and no cattle.
July 19, 1993
Saddam Hussein,
Saddam Hussein
Saddam Hussein, Saddam Hussein,
Upon whose head our missiles rain.
It's often said that you're a stain
And maybe just a tad insane
(You seem to think you're Charlemagne),
And therefore we should not refrain
From bombing part of your domain
Until it looks like beef chow mein.
And yet there is a question whether
We'd really like to send you nether.
When diplomatic talk turns plain,
It's said there's value in your reign.
You stabilize and you contain.
You keep some folks from raising Cain.
And we use you to show the pain
That those who challenge us obtain-
As you use us when under strain:
We're blamed for what you can't explain.
Although we're birds of different feather.
We may be in this thing together.
November 21, 2002
Saddam Hussein's Election Victory
Unanimous is what the vote count was.
He didn't miss a voter, to our knowledge.
The triumph his, he now remains in charge,
Unless he lost in the Electoral College.

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