George W. Bush as a Take-Charge Guy

By Calvin Trillin

This article appeared in the October 17, 2005 edition of The Nation.

September 29, 2005

I keep my slicker by my bed, and, sure, my bullmike's handy too.
With these, it looks as if I've got the slightest notion what to do.
On Air Force One my staff and I will fly to every storm we're fighting.
My staff's prepared. They've studied film. They've got technique. They know backlighting.
You'll soon forget the FEMA hacks appointed, one and all, by me.
A leader is a man who finds a photo opportunity.

CHORUS
No matter what, there'll always be a photo opportunity.
And otherwise, I'm always free for loafing with impunity.
Because, you see, we all agree: With Karl there to fine tune it, he
Can find a way to picture me at one with the community.
No matter what, there'll always be a photo opportunity.

So clueless had I seemed before--for days when that Katrina hit--
I have to show some leadership: The slicker is a perfect fit.
No way that I'd be in the way, the way the coverage implied.
To get the shot, we've never pushed one rescue worker to the side.
So, clueless still, you say, but watch: That's not how folks will picture me,
For now each storm will be for me a photo opportunity.

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About Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin is The Nation's "deadline poet." He has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1963 and has written the syndicated weekly column "Uncivil Liberties" since 1986. He has authored many, many books, including Tepper's Not Going Out and Deadline Poet: My Life as a Doggerelist. more...
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