Bolton Chases French Ambassador Up Tree

deadline poet

By Calvin Trillin

This article appeared in the June 13, 2005 edition of The Nation.

May 26, 2005

(Another Headline in the Future of John Bolton as American Ambassador to the United Nations)

The Frenchman voted wrong, in Bolton's mind--
Against a war. He doubted we would find
These weapons just where Bolton said they were,
Despite the fact that Bolton seemed so sure.
As Bolton shouted that the French were yellow,
His face took on the shade of cherry Jell-O.
The Frenchman thought it prudent then to flee,
And that's when Bolton chased him up a tree.
"How dare you!" Bolton shouted from below,
As with his shoe he struck the trunk a blow.
The French ambassador was plainly scared.
He kept repeating "Zut, alors!" and "Merde!"
The White House, backing Bolton, said that he'll
Continue putting forth our case with zeal.

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About Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin is The Nation's "deadline poet." He has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1963 and has written the syndicated weekly column "Uncivil Liberties" since 1986. He has authored many, many books, including Tepper's Not Going Out and Deadline Poet: My Life as a Doggerelist. more...
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