Senator Bill Frist, a Thoracic Surgeon...

deadline poet

By Calvin Trillin

This article appeared in the April 18, 2005 edition of The Nation.

March 31, 2005

Who Made a Neurological Diagnosis of Terri Schiavo After Watching a Video of Her, Reports on a Physical Examination He's Done of Jeb Bush, His Potential Rival for the 2008 Republican Presidential Nomination, After Observing One of the Governor's Florida Press Conferences on Television

From that slight slump I'd make the diagnosis
Of just a tiny touch of scoliosis,
Which likely could be kept in check unless
He tried to take a job with too much stress.
And judging from his pudginess of chops, he
Is likely to be suffering from dropsy.
From bagginess of trouser legs we see
He's got himself a case of housemaid's knee.
He could have gout, and judging from that pout,
There's serious PMS we can't rule out.
In time, this patient could be really fine,
If he just rests until at least '09.

Subscriber Login

4 ISSUES FREE

Subscribe Now!

The only way to read this article and the full contents of each week's issue of The Nation online is by subscribing to the magazine. Subscribe now and read this article -- and every article published since for the past five years -- right now.

There's no obligation -- try The Nation for four weeks free.

.

About Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin is The Nation's "deadline poet." He has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1963 and has written the syndicated weekly column "Uncivil Liberties" since 1986. He has authored many, many books, including Tepper's Not Going Out and Deadline Poet: My Life as a Doggerelist. more...
Most Read

Issues »

Most Emailed

Issues »

Popular Topics

Blogs

» State of Change

Hank Paulson Could Care Less About Autoworkers | Treasury secretary was filled with urgency for Wall Street's bailout, but doesn't even show up to help the auto industry.
John Nichols
Posted at 10:41 PM ET

» The Beat

Another Woman Senator From New York? | NOW, Feminist Majority endorse Carolyn Maloney to replace Clinton.
John Nichols

» Capitolism

Realizing the Promise | A people's inauguration
Christopher Hayes

» The Dreyfuss Report

Obama's Gaffe on India | He ought to be urging India to talk to Pakistan, not cross the border to "catch" the bad guys.
Robert Dreyfuss

» Editor's Cut

Bread, Bombs, and the Big Stimulus | We need a smart and focused inside-outside strategy to revive our frayed social compact -- now more critical than ever.
Katrina vanden Heuvel

» And Another Thing

Can you help "Nickie"? | Bringing the abortion debate down to earth
Katha Pollitt

» The Notion

DC to Delhi: Only Our Missiles -- Not Yours | What is Rice going to say to India: only DC not Delhi is allowed to bomb Pakistan?
Laura Flanders

» Act Now!

World AIDS Day | How to help in the fight against the AIDS pandemic.
Peter Rothberg

» Passing Through

Forget GM's Plan -- Where's The Government's Plan? | Create a demand for green cars.
Jane Hamsher