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Senator Bill Frist, a Thoracic Surgeon...

deadline poet

By Calvin Trillin

This article appeared in the April 18, 2005 edition of The Nation.

March 31, 2005

Who Made a Neurological Diagnosis of Terri Schiavo After Watching a Video of Her, Reports on a Physical Examination He's Done of Jeb Bush, His Potential Rival for the 2008 Republican Presidential Nomination, After Observing One of the Governor's Florida Press Conferences on Television

From that slight slump I'd make the diagnosis
Of just a tiny touch of scoliosis,
Which likely could be kept in check unless
He tried to take a job with too much stress.
And judging from his pudginess of chops, he
Is likely to be suffering from dropsy.
From bagginess of trouser legs we see
He's got himself a case of housemaid's knee.
He could have gout, and judging from that pout,
There's serious PMS we can't rule out.
In time, this patient could be really fine,
If he just rests until at least '09.

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About Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin is The Nation's "deadline poet." He has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1963 and has written the syndicated weekly column "Uncivil Liberties" since 1986. He has authored many, many books, including Tepper's Not Going Out and Deadline Poet: My Life as a Doggerelist. more...

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