For better or worse, there isn't always magic in marriage, but it does involve a certain alchemy. Love, sex, romance, friendship, children, family, property, money, health, death, taxes, work, religion: Some or all of these constituent parts are bundled into a single package, which then, rather impressively, holds everything together--until it breaks apart. As a result, marriage is a battleground for a whole roiling mass of distinct yet interconnected issues.
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Marital Discord: Why Prop 8 Won
Gay & Lesbian Issues & Activism
Richard Kim: With bald lies and racial pandering, an anti-gay marriage intiative succeeds in California.
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Waiting for the Barbarians
Richard Kim: The GOP's machinery of hate has taken on a life of its own.
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The Culture War Disarmed
Gay & Lesbian Issues & Activism
Richard Kim: This time, Democrats won't be losing the culture war.
Such a range of perspectives is urgently needed in the gay-marriage debate, which is typically conducted in pro/con format. The "pro" picture often leaves the impression that gays and lesbians just want a place at the altar-neither mining the once-robust queer and feminist critique of marriage nor probing the fractious state of the marital union. "Ironically," notes Judith Stacey, "feminists and gay liberationists find ourselves defending gay marriage against the conservative backlash." Though Donna Minkowitz writes here of her desire to marry, and Catharine Stimpson recounts the reasons she'd prefer to abstain, their essays share a wariness about what gays and lesbians may be marrying into--"a moralistic and ridiculously unitary vision of the way people ought to live," as Minkowitz puts it.
Exactly such a vision is now supported by public policy, as Sharon Lerner reveals in her analysis of the Bush Administration's vaunted marriage-promotion initiative aimed at low-income populations. Absent coercive federal policy, young, white, professional women are pressured to get hitched on a "timetable" by marriage rules repeated ad nauseum in popular culture and self-help books, as Hillary Frey reports. Marriage promotion of another sort occurs nightly on reality TV shows like The Bachelor and Average Joe, where, Judith Halberstam writes, marriage has "become a game show," and a telegenic spouse just one more prize. "Heterosexuality never looked so fragile," she concludes. By contrast, gay protest weddings in New Paltz, San Francisco and dozens of other municipalities, described here by Alisa Solomon, follow the "enduring, endearing narrative" of two lovers overcoming obstacles to wed. Like the larger debate over gay marriage, these ceremonies hold "both radical and depoliticizing potential." Here's hoping the former prevails.
Research support was provided by the Harvey Milk Fund of The Nation Institute.
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