Have Yourself a Pentagon Xmas

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
The Special Forces team was inserted
As quiet as a mouse.

If you want to "wow" the kids this Yuletide, here are some "Hot as Depleted Uranium Toys for a New Imperial Age" that will make their eyes gleam.

What would the holidays be without little muscularized molded-plastic dolls holding big guns in a kung-fu battle grip? Now, thanks to Blue Box International, your child can pilot Air Force One into Baghdad with Elite Force Aviator: George W. Bush, the greatest American hero, dolled up in naval aviator regalia--a fully posable 12" action figure in "g-pants." For only an extra $29.95 (plus shipping and handling) your child can feed the troops a turkey dinner using the George W. Bush Talking Action Figure, the aviator's civilian counterpart, clad in the more traditional Republican dark suit and red power tie. He spouts 17 phrases, including the apropos Bushism "working hard to put food on your family." And that's only the beginning!

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