Just Speculating

deadline poet

By Calvin Trillin

This article appeared in the November 3, 2003 edition of The Nation.

October 16, 2003

So Limbaugh has been hooked on pills,
While Bennett's hooked on slots.
Do all the right-wing morals police
Have copybooks with blots?

Does Falwell have a floozie, say,
Does Ashcroft, you suppose,
Get home from church and swiftly snort
Some white stuff up his nose?

Does Robertson crave demon rum?
Does Cheney make clerks promise
To hide the fact he's renting tapes
Last viewed by Clarence Thomas?

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About Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin is The Nation's "deadline poet." He has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1963 and has written the syndicated weekly column "Uncivil Liberties" since 1986. He has authored many, many books, including Tepper's Not Going Out and Deadline Poet: My Life as a Doggerelist. more...
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