Mirror, Mirror

By Hillary Frey

This article appeared in the November 26, 2001 edition of The Nation.

November 8, 2001

For a little while I led a double life. By day I was an earnest student, searching alongside my geology professor for life and oxygen in the murky waters of the remote, and aptly named, Lake Lonely. By night I was an anxious, love- struck pixie who craved the indoors, having found deep but illegal love with someone I shouldn't have. I liked living this way, half in the shadows; it made my 19-year-old life sensual, imbued with importance. But as the affair staggered to its inevitable end, I watched my night self pass gradually away. Now I marvel at the evidence that it ever was: notes, photos, a tiny, anatomically correct heart cast in pink plastic I was given as a gift.

Though I thought it was at the time, that double life of mine wasn't so unique. Who doesn't, in some way or another, have a secret self? We adapt and pretend; we have different personas for different occasions; the secret passions and plans we nurture in the long minutes before sleep often seem like those of someone else. So the characters in Jennifer Egan's rich new novel Look at Me--double lifers all--feel sort of familiar, despite the less-than-familiar circumstances that surround them. There's Moose Metcalf, a gentle if unhinged academic whose mental life constantly wars with his material one. There's Charlotte Hauser, Moose's 16-year-old niece, who conducts an illicit affair with a math teacher at night and halfheartedly attends high school during the day. And in the fore there's another, older Charlotte--Charlotte Swenson--an almost-supermodel who, having opted out of a double life early on, is shocked to find herself thrust into another. After surviving both a car crash that shattered every bone in her face and a series of reconstructive surgeries, Charlotte must design a new life, having been given a face that's unrecognizable not only to those from her past, but to her as well.

This Charlotte holds the center of Look at Me. Wryly, she narrates alternating chapters, revealing the day-to-day details of her recovery and a fragmented picture of her past, stringing us along to the novel's denouement--the explanation (and bizarre re-enactment) of Charlotte's car accident just outside her hometown of Rockford, Illinois. Though she declares, on page 1, "The truth is that I don't remember anything," she also lets on that she's not to be trusted. Preparing to meet a private detective who's investigating the disappearance of Z, a man Charlotte knew in her pre-accident days, she explains, "I would lie, of course. I lied a lot.... Telling someone a secret was like storing plutonium inside a sandwich bag; the information would inevitably outlive the friendship or love or trust in which you'd placed it. And then you would have given it away."

Subscriber Login

4 ISSUES FREE

Subscribe Now!

The only way to read this article and the full contents of each week's issue of The Nation online is by subscribing to the magazine. Subscribe now and read this article -- and every article published since for the past five years -- right now.

There's no obligation -- try The Nation for four weeks free.

.

About Hillary Frey

Hillary Frey, a former Nation editor, is the Books editor at Salon.com. more...
Most Read

Issues »

Most Emailed

Issues »

Popular Topics

Blogs

» Campaign 08

Free-basing McPalin | MoveOn feeds your head with the funniest ad of the race.
Leslie Savan

» Act Now!

We Need an Environmentalist President | Climate change is one of the key issues facing the next administration. Will we elect someone who takes it seriously?
Peter Rothberg

» The Beat

How to Fix the Debates: Better Moderators | The candidates need to be pushed and prodded. Who can do it? How about Amy Goodman? Pat Buchanan? Or Ralph Nader?
John Nichols

» The Dreyfuss Report

Iran Readies Its End-Game Iraq Strategy | Is it meddling? Or pursuit of national interests? We report, you decide.
Robert Dreyfuss

» Capitolism

A Well-Deserved Prize for An Outspoken Liberal | Paul Krugman, Nobel laureate. It has a nice ring to it.
Christopher Hayes

» Editor's Cut

Nation to New Yorkers: Vote Change Like You Mean It. | By voting on the Working Families Party ballot line, progressives can vote both for Obama and for the movement needed to push him.
Katrina vanden Heuvel

» The Notion

Is the Second Superpower of the Cold War Going Down? | The Soviets were bankrupted by an Afghan War that wouldn’t end. Now, is it our turn?
Tom Engelhardt

» And Another Thing

Are You the Very Model of a Modern Vice-President? | Sarah's not the only one with a special skill.
Katha Pollitt