A Theological Analysis of the South Carolina Primary

In Kennebunk, land of the Bushes,
The men of the cloth all wore tweed.
And one didn't meet any Christians
Like Robertson, Falwell and Reed.

So Bush, the uniter from Texas,
Said, "Since you're the fellows they heed,
Do Jesus's work down and dirty,
Please, Robertson, Falwell and Reed."

They blackened McCain with their phone banks
And told all the voters that he'd
Consort with the people most hated
By Robertson, Falwell and Reed.

McCain's just too chummy with Satan,
And should he, not Bush II, succeed,
The unborn would have no protector,
Said Robertson, Falwell and Reed.

Well, W won Carolina,
For three days he had back his lead.
For this he had pledged his allegiance
To Robertson, Falwell and Reed.

Yes, he made his pact--not with Satan,
But, still, he will never be freed.
He'll always be part of a package
With Robertson, Falwell and Reed.

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