Deadline Poet | The Nation

Deadline Poet

Calvin Trillin

Good Christian kids must study Tinky Winky

To try to catch him doing something kinky.

From Blumenthal and Hitchens having lunch,

A sideshow has emerged that causes spec-

Ulation touching ethics and such things:

It might make sense to end it now, except

That wouldn't show the managers respect.

So even if their case now seems inert,

'Twas said the honest folks of Salt Lake City

Deplored sins large and even itty-bitty.

But, trying for the Games, they thought it pretty

Chief Justice Rehnquist now presides.

He rules the chamber that decides

If Clinton should remain or go.

This role's important, that we know.

The middle names we have are, as a rule,

Obscure, pretentious, odd or just not cool.

So someone named John Bloomingblaise McGill

So now comes forward John McCain,
A high-tech version of Gawain
When with his steed, a Navy plane.
He says he's forming his campaign

In every century, it seems,

The Constitution's put to test.

Important questions must be asked,

And ours is, "Did he touch her breast?"


Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider:...