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Deadline Poet | The Nation

Deadline Poet

Calvin Trillin

Farewell, once more, J. Danforth Quayle.
Although we know it's sad to fail,
Remember, you were once obscure--
Considered lightweight, immature.

This party's what diversity is all about:
There's no variety of wacko that's left out.

A public school whose students don't test well
Would lose some funds unless its score improves.
If cutting funds won't help the kids advance,

Buchanan hints he's leaving.
The GOP says, "Stay!"
They fear that he'd be draining
The wacko vote away.

Elizabeth Dole won't break the law.
McCain has scored no coke.
The thought of Hatch with smack or crack
Is palpably baroque.

It really would stick in the craw
To find that you had to withdraw
From such a big race
For not keeping pace
In a poll that was nothing but straw.

I think I'd rather not belong

At this point to the Falun Gong.

The exercises don't look easy,

And doing them might make me queasy

The single-payer system, it was said,
Has faults that go beyond the fact it's Red:
If any faceless bureaucrat decreed
That surgery the doctor says you need

Author

Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider:...

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