Deadline Poet | The Nation

Deadline Poet

Calvin Trillin

What Bill was asked to do Bill always did.
There was no better soldier on the scene.
So why at Veep time won't he get the bid?
'Twas lost behind the copying machine.

You really think you're going to go--
Just take your dough and leave the show?
Oh, well. I guess we'll see you, Ross.
We'll manage, somehow, with the loss.

You cannot find a job? No cash is flowing?
You haven't paid your bills, which have been growing?
You'll never get the money you've been owing?

So Clinton's found the key once more
To triumphs he can savor:
He takes the lead on issues that
Republicans all favor.

The health news really walloped Rudy.
He dissed his wife, and in that mood he
Went strolling with his good friend Judi--
And found himself in deepest doodie.

So Ford now says the SUV
Is very bad for you and me.
It slurps gas to a fare-thee-well,
And makes the earth as hot as hell.
Its weight means any car it hits

Republicans, observing young González
Removed at night, thought they could take some solace
From hearings showing Reno as a baddie.

Some lessons can be learned from strife.
The lesson here is: Get a life!


Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider:...