Deadline Poet | The Nation

Deadline Poet

Calvin Trillin

Republicans, observing young González
Removed at night, thought they could take some solace
From hearings showing Reno as a baddie.

Some lessons can be learned from strife.
The lesson here is: Get a life!

Sure, in our hearts we always knew
That Albert Gore would always do
Whatever it might take for him to win.
How come, then, that this single case

Yes, any Cuban kid would thrive right here.
At Disney World he'd surely have a ball.
And over there he lacks what we revere.
So maybe we should simply snatch them all.

Well, John, it's nice to have you back again.
Your colleagues all paid close attention when
You cast all those aspersions on this house.

So what was the matter with Kasich?
And what was so bad about Dole?
And why did we sour on poor Gary Bauer
And find naught in Hatch to extol?

So after the excitement fades,
We end up with the norm:
Both candidates are regulars
Who say they're for reform.

(A Gilbert and Sullivan Solo for George W. Bush)


Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider:...