Deadline Poet | The Nation

Deadline Poet

Calvin Trillin

It took them thirteen years to ditch
Old Slobodan Milosevic.
Now people see a new day dawn,
But notice that he's still not gone.

Momentum for the euro wanes.
The krone is preferred by Danes.
And recent surveys all have found
That British voters love their pound.
But, seeing this through New World eyes,
Why is it such a big surprise?
Imagine how we Yanks would holler
If someone tried to take our dollar!
You'd see a war like Vietnam,
But this time we would use the bomb.

When he was king, the Democrats
Saw Newt as all that's rotten.
Though he's long gone, they're making sure
He doesn't get forgotten.

On every ad, they talk of Newt's
Disasters and venality.
Yes, Newt can rest assured he'll have
A certain immortality.

What Bill was asked to do Bill always did.
There was no better soldier on the scene.
So why at Veep time won't he get the bid?
'Twas lost behind the copying machine.

You really think you're going to go--
Just take your dough and leave the show?
Oh, well. I guess we'll see you, Ross.
We'll manage, somehow, with the loss.

You cannot find a job? No cash is flowing?
You haven't paid your bills, which have been growing?
You'll never get the money you've been owing?

So Clinton's found the key once more
To triumphs he can savor:
He takes the lead on issues that
Republicans all favor.


Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider:...