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Deadline Poet | The Nation

Deadline Poet

Calvin Trillin

Bomb 'em now, kill 'em now, zim, boom, bah
Chickenhawks, chickenhawks, rah, rah, rah.
Vietnam reverberates.
(We were rooting from the States.)

The Torch could not make folks forget
The graft for which he's cited.
The only slogan left to use
Was "Never been indicted."

As Sung to Saddam Hussein by George W. Bush

(With apologies to Eddy Howard, and anybody who becomes collateral damage)

Osama's split and Wall Street's sagging.
It's time to get that puppy wagging.

We'll talk to Germany and France,
Brief Russians and Chinese,
Consult with Turkey and Japan,
Then do just as we please.

The terrorism war begins to sag.
The perpetrator we were meant to bag
Remains at large, and wartime fervor fades.
Then Bush and all his hawkish White House aides
Drop sanctions as the way to tame Iraq
And say, "Without delay, we must attack."
If that war sags, there's still a backup plan.
It's war without delay against Iran.
And when the zest for that war, too, has faded?
That's easy: North Korea gets invaded.
But then it's hard to think of what to do.
Destroy Bahrain? Bomb France? Invade Peru?

Consider kids who bullied Richard Perle--
Those kids who said Perle threw just like a girl,
Those kids who poked poor Perle to show how soft
A mamma's boy could be, those kids who oft-
Times pushed poor Richard down and could be heard
Addressing him as Sissy, Wimp or Nerd.
Those kids have got a lot to answer for,
'Cause Richard Perle now wants to start a war.
The message his demeanor gets across:
He'll show those playground bullies who's the boss.
He still looks soft, but when he writes or talks
There is no tougher dude among the hawks.
And he's got planes and ships and tanks and guns--
All manned, of course, by other people's sons.

Al Gore is a man of the people.
At least, that's the case as we speak.
The earth-toney Harvard elitist,
Though gone, could return by next week.

Author

Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider:...

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