Deadline Poet | The Nation

Deadline Poet

Calvin Trillin

(With apologies, once again, to Stephen Sondheim and his demon barber)

With sniper suspect now in jail,
DAs are fighting tooth and nail.
They're in a monumental race
To see who gets to try this case

Unanimous is what the vote count was.
He didn't miss a voter, to our knowledge.
The triumph his, he now remains in charge,
Unless he lost in the Electoral College.

(Translated From the Norwegian)

The Nobel Carter finally got
He got 'cause he's what Bush is not.

Bomb 'em now, kill 'em now, zim, boom, bah
Chickenhawks, chickenhawks, rah, rah, rah.
Vietnam reverberates.
(We were rooting from the States.)

The Torch could not make folks forget
The graft for which he's cited.
The only slogan left to use
Was "Never been indicted."

As Sung to Saddam Hussein by George W. Bush

(With apologies to Eddy Howard, and anybody who becomes collateral damage)

Osama's split and Wall Street's sagging.
It's time to get that puppy wagging.


Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider:...