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Deadline Poet | The Nation

Deadline Poet

Calvin Trillin

If nothing shows in spyplane pics
And Blix finds nothing in the sticks,
That still won't put us in a fix.
We'll blame it on Iraqi tricks,

(An Upper East Side Sea Chanty
Sung to the tune of 'Blow the Man Down')

The talk of war has done its job.
Rove's hopes were far exceeded.
So maybe, with the voting done,
The war itself's not needed.

(With apologies, once again, to Stephen Sondheim and his demon barber)

With sniper suspect now in jail,
DAs are fighting tooth and nail.
They're in a monumental race
To see who gets to try this case

Unanimous is what the vote count was.
He didn't miss a voter, to our knowledge.
The triumph his, he now remains in charge,
Unless he lost in the Electoral College.

(Translated From the Norwegian)

The Nobel Carter finally got
He got 'cause he's what Bush is not.

Bomb 'em now, kill 'em now, zim, boom, bah
Chickenhawks, chickenhawks, rah, rah, rah.
Vietnam reverberates.
(We were rooting from the States.)

Author

Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider:...

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