Deadline Poet | The Nation

Deadline Poet

Calvin Trillin

A Joyous Song of Deliverance for Spring

When he lands on the deck in his flight suit
To impress all the sailors he's greeting,
It looks grand, but there's one thing we're thinking:

Now Wal-Mart's banned those mags for lads
But so far hasn't banned the scads
Of other soft-core porn on view--
Like busty dolls that do kung fu,

Bill Bennett told a grateful nation,
"Be moral. Just resist temptation."
By windbag airing of this thesis,
Bill Bennett got as rich as Croesus.

So maybe we will find them yet,
Well stashed away in some place clever.
Or were they just destroyed in March?

Or never there at all? Whatever.

(A preventive-war anthem sung to the tune of "Trees," by Joyce
Kilmer, with piano accompaniment)

A lot of folks die.
At last the war ends.
The world is made safe
For Dick Cheney's friends.


Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider:...