We can't yet find the nukes and gas,
Though we have looked in every section.
But we may find them in Iran--
And just before the next election.
A Joyous Song of Deliverance for Spring
When he lands on the deck in his flight suit
To impress all the sailors he's greeting,
It looks grand, but there's one thing we're thinking:
Now Wal-Mart's banned those mags for lads
But so far hasn't banned the scads
Of other soft-core porn on view--
Like busty dolls that do kung fu,
Bill Bennett told a grateful nation,
"Be moral. Just resist temptation."
By windbag airing of this thesis,
Bill Bennett got as rich as Croesus.
So maybe we will find them yet,
Well stashed away in some place clever.
Or were they just destroyed in March?
Or never there at all? Whatever.
(A preventive-war anthem sung to the tune of "Trees," by Joyce
Kilmer, with piano accompaniment)