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Deadline Poet | The Nation

Deadline Poet

Calvin Trillin

Korea has the bomb, but not to worry.
It's not a crisis. No, we needn't hurry
To get inspections back. Why try to spot
The weapons they already say they've got?

We now feel warm toward Albert Gore,
Who will not run in aughty-four.
Most candidates, I must admit,
Seem at their best the day they quit.

Republicans feel anger, unconcealed,
Because Trent Lott revealed what he revealed.
They've always reassured the racist clods

So Elliott Abrams (the felon) is back,
And Poindexter's now a big cheese.
High-level appointments now favor the guys
With rap sheets instead of CVs.

If nothing shows in spyplane pics
And Blix finds nothing in the sticks,
That still won't put us in a fix.
We'll blame it on Iraqi tricks,

(An Upper East Side Sea Chanty
Sung to the tune of 'Blow the Man Down')

The talk of war has done its job.
Rove's hopes were far exceeded.
So maybe, with the voting done,
The war itself's not needed.

Author

Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider:...

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