Sarah Palin Has a Tina Bit of a Problem

Sarah Palin's appearance on Saturday Night Live was weird in many ways, but the strangest moment came as the would-be veep passed Tina Fey on her way to give her muted "Live from New York" shout-out. Tina, who'd just been told by Alec Baldwin that "the real one" was there, flickered like a shadow over Palin's political grave at that moment, and if Sarah didn't feel the chill, I suspect a lot of viewers did.

The striking thing about that TV instant when the two women crossed paths is that they're both fake, the Sarah Palin and the Tina Palin. When the only vice-presidential nominee in modern history to refuse to give a press conference "jokes" that an actor's fake presser was "not a realistic depiction of the way my press conference would've gone," we begin to realize what a dizzying game of make-believe the McCain campaign has become.

SNL homed in on another fantasy girding the GOP. In the debate spoof that aired Thursday, a furiously blinking McCain (Darrell Hammond) disclosed that Joe the Plumber is his best friend, lives in a cigar box under the senator's bed, and is 3 1/2 inches tall--"except," grins McCain, "when he's upset, then he can become as big as a house." When Obama (Fred Armisen) gingerly asked if Joe was a pretend friend, McCain ranted that Obama had "slandered" his conservative white male Tinker Bell: "You've insulted Joe the Plumber," McCain cried. "You called him imaginary."

It was as if McCain were Hammond's understudy when, the day after SNL's fake debate, the real McCain ranted that Obama had "smeared" Joe the Plumber. Although McCain, of course, had mentioned Joe the Plumber 20 times during the final debate, it was somehow Obama's fault that journalists went digging into Joe Wurzelbacher's past and discovered that maybe he wasn't the perfect poster boy for McCain's tax policies.

But then, expressing fake outrage has become the leitmotif of the McCain campaign. Like the fake outrage over William Ayers, or Obama's "celebrity," or "lipstick on a pig," or the Congressional bailout (which McCain both fake-delivered and fake-denounced). Right now Americans are losing two wars and all their home value. We're not going to get out of this mess by talking to a six-foot white rabbit at a bar.

Nevertheless, McCain's first ad off the block after the final debate seemed to channel Hammond's caricature of the candidate's phony positivism and rictal smile:

The winsome music, coupled with McCain's Fractured-Fairy-Tales delivery, is meant to soothe us down like the plucked geese we are. Still, that querulous voice can't quite believe America is longing for a new deal (McCain seems to be picking up Sarah Palin's rhythmic question mark at the end of suspicion-charged statements--Obama and Biden are "telling us paying higher taxes is patriotic? And saying we need to spread the wealth around?"--with its bullying, "you-kiddin'-me?" tone). There's a whisper of exasperation in every word.

For 30 years the GOP has been quite successful at ginning up straw men for its candidates to beat--it's all been fake, starting with the Reagan Revolution and the Gipper's Cadillac-driving welfare queens and pollution-causing trees. It has worked because blaming the victim is always easier than confronting the underlying problem. Who wouldn't want to wish away financial risks, environmental consequences, history itself? It's not called the American Dream for nothing.

And just because we're a trillion dollars poorer in less than a month's time does not make it certain that the old fantasy has truly lost its appeal. Every time some talking head explains away the tightening poll numbers as inevitable this late in a presidential race, it's hard to ignore the submerged log of robocalls ("Obama works with terrorists") and hate lit ("He's an Arab") we're sailing over.

McCain isn't leaving it up to voters to connect an Obama dot to "welfare cheats" by themselves. Nah, he's put it out in a Web ad, centered around his imaginary friend Joe:

Factcheck.org does a lovely job of pointing out that the ad "characterizes Obama's proposed refundable tax credits as 'welfare,'" while "McCain himself proposes refundable tax credits, too, as part of his health care plan, and calls them 'reform.'"

Welfare, reform; unvetted VP choice, VP extraordinaire--what's the diff? It's make-believe. If you clap hard enough, Joe the Plumber will live.

Comments (25)

1. The message I am getting from friends and relatives in Alaska is that they don't know who the woman is on the podium, but it is not the Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, that they knew. She has morphed into the character needed by the repubs.

   Like the Iraq War and so much of the Bush presidency, it is all smoke and mirrors set up to appeal to and frighten their Qaida.

   ( Qudos to Ms. Palin for showing up on SNL, though. Gotta give her credit for knowing which way the wind was blowing on this one)

   Posted by crabwalk at 10/20/2008 @ 11:29am

2. Gotta love how the McCain campaign has a litany of children's book characters that he is campaigning for including "... Joe the plumber and Rose the teacher and Phil the bricklayer and Wendy the waitress."

   Who's next - Babar the elephant?

   http://tinyurl.com/5w89m9

   Posted by leftofcenter at 10/20/2008 @ 12:08pm

3. I dunno, crabwalk. It seemed like a very desperate attempt by a very desperate lady to grasp onto the last few seconds of her 15 minutes. I mean, to take a smack down from Alec Baldwin of all people? To her face? Next stop, reality TV.

   Posted by maddening_crowd at 10/20/2008 @ 12:41pm

4. Yeah...only in a make-believe world do "Joe the Plumbers" make over $250,000 a year. This was perhaps the greatest gaffe by McCain in the entire campaign in which he tries to convert middle class plumbers into wealthy businessmen so he can call them his friends.

   Posted by Metteyya at 10/20/2008 @ 12:44pm

5. The only thing that I can't understand is ho so many people are still buying the Republican brand after all of this. That is the really frightening thing.

   Posted by oldintel at 10/20/2008 @ 1:12pm

6. Nice to see Palin's appearance remind libs just how little their immature rantings have rankled her.

   Caribou Barbie: How Ninth Grade

   I'm thinking McCain will lose this election, but you libs shouldn't count, fortunately, on seeing the last of your dark haired nemesis.

   Posted by CHIP THORNTON at 10/20/2008 @ 1:20pm

7. Posted by CHIP THORNTON at 10/20/2008 @ 1:20pm

   You may be right. If Palin can get people who know how to run a modern campaign unlike the crap that McCain was saddled with, then she probably has a very good chance of becoming a congresswoman. The conservative base loves her.

   Regarding Palin's SNL appearance: I think if she wasn't rattled she would not have done the show. Besides, they need votes. Performing on SNL shows she's hip and down-to-earth. Even though, the "raise the roof" move is lame and hasn't been used in atleast four years. Oh well, that's how mainstream works anyway. When something finally hits mainstream, it's officially not in style anymore (i.e. "Whoot, there it is!).

   Posted by k330k at 10/20/2008 @ 1:38pm

8. It's a classic GOP tactic. Foment class warfare by charging that tax cuts = welfare unless you're a fat cat. (Any minute now, we're going to hear about Reagan's Cadillac-driving welfare queens.) Wait for everyday working people, who'd benefit from a Dem plan, to take umbrage. Accuse *them* of fomenting class warfare.

   Posted by sdchandler at 10/20/2008 @ 1:38pm

9. Posted by k330k at 10/20/2008 @ 1:38pm

   You're right. Palin agreeing to appear on SNL was OBVIOUS "damage control" over the fact that Tina Fey, not Palin, has cemented her image in the public minds.

   Unfortunately it was and is...too late.

   Posted by Maskdelta at 10/20/2008 @ 1:53pm

10. Your right Chip, we probably haven't seen the last of lil ol Sarah. Casting for the next Big Brother begins soon and I happen to know that my local FOX affiliate is looking for a "meteorologist."

    Oh, and saying things like "how ninth grade" is a very ninth grade thing to do.

    Posted by maddening_crowd at 10/20/2008 @ 2:29pm

11. If Caribou barbie is 9th grade, what would Barak U-S-ama be?

    Posted by crabwalk at 10/20/2008 @ 2:46pm

12. Extremely unfortunate, the way the standard of political profession stooped so low, wherein they have no conscience. They are Just playing with the feelings and emotions of the innocent people and misleading them to believe what isnt there. A DECEPTION!!!

    They have the world financial experts at their disposal to hire and write for them the best strategic ways for a failing economy, couldnt they? But instead Mccain and Sara Palin abuse/insult the common man's intellect and spend all their energy to take them for a wild goose chase. It is commonsense and none seem to use it, why? If William Ayers is a terrorist, why he is not in prison or Guantanamo bay? Why is he left scot free inspiring young americans students to become domestic terrorists???????? These two uneducated phonies been given too much importance.

    The truth is every guy desires to take Sarah Palin to bed only, she has not wisdom but incoherent brain and the old guy needs a kick in his butt for saying "Friends I know how to do it" HOW? "Friends, I have plans" WHAT ARE THEY? GIVE AN OUTLINE! "Friends, he doesnt seem to understand, I do" WHAT HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND,WHAT u DO?. He is horny towards Sarah.

    See her record: 312 lawmakers sessions absent, sacks the librarian, she came back with public support, sacks the commisioner because he didnt sack her divorced sister's husband, which she ordered to, sacks the lawyer who stopped the construction of her party worker, out of 8 six republicans went against, she did one journalism degree course but it too 6 colleges - why? She incites bloodbath when she said Obama friends with terrorists upon hearing a fanatic man said "KILL" she didnt calm that person but said "there, you got it right" DIE YOU DISHONES BITCH! BEFORE YOU DIVIDE THIS GREAT COUNTRY!

    Posted by aleemsyed at 10/20/2008 @ 2:49pm

13. Actually, the "depth" (less than a quarter of inch) of Sarah Palin's support will become quite obvious, if McCain loses, and she makes a run for the GOP nomination in 2012.

    All these "Paliniacs" will find their girlfriend getting RON PAUL numbers in the primaries.

    No way SERIOUS Republicans even think about giving her the nomination.

    Posted by Maskdelta at 10/20/2008 @ 2:58pm

14. I'm thinking McCain will lose this election, but you libs shouldn't count, fortunately, on seeing the last of your dark haired nemesis.

    Posted by CHIP THORNTON at 10/20/2008

    she's your problem, too, chip.

    Posted by frosty zoom at 10/20/2008 @ 3:02pm

15. Not me old boy. I've liked her style from the start. I know you think that's crazy.

    Posted by CHIP THORNTON at 10/20/2008 @ 4:29pm

16. Lookin' for generational change, Frost. Thats why I will vote for Obama, despite the compromise of some of my principles: Its more important to get this country straightened out. Palin also would mean a generational change, and while one may not like her feelings about one particular issue, that's irrelevent in the larger picture: She'll think differently than the current crop as well. But alas, she's not running, if I vote Repub I still get McCain. (I don't worry so much about her personal views on some things: What a Presidential Candidate would like to do and what a President can actually get through Congress are very often two different things. Roe v Wade will stand Frost, no matter who wins)

    Posted by CHIP THORNTON at 10/20/2008 @ 4:37pm

17. Posted by CHIP THORNTON at 10/20/2008 @ 4:37pm The Branchflower report pretty much shows a shallow shark doing political business as usual-albeit ineptly. If that was the best the next generation had to offer I would start looking for property in Canada.

    Posted by Pogge at 10/20/2008 @ 5:47pm

18. I will bet anybody here $1000 on a PayPal account...

    that if 2012 is open, Sarah Palin will NOT be the GOP nominee.

    I will bet $500 that she doesn't win a single primary/caucus.

    and I will bet $100 that....she doesn't even run. (That figure is mitigated by how clueless she truly is.)

    Any takers?

    Posted by Maskdelta at 10/20/2008 @ 6:43pm

19. Any takers?

    Posted by Maskdelta at 10/20/2008 @ 6:43pm

    Apparently not.

    She really is cute though.

    SJ is really gonna have a tough time explaining away all his "vice president elect Palin" stuff as well.

    Posted by Benchrest at 10/20/2008 @ 8:13pm

20. what,

    you don't want a pall in the white house?

    Posted by frosty zoom at 10/21/2008 @ 01:27am

21. Actually, I think the sight of Fey passing Palin was not some repudiation of Palin by Fey, but simply a way to let viewers like me, who had tuned in a little late, that THIS WAS REALLY PALIN. I suspected this was Palin but was not sure until they passed each other. She was noticeably less vivacious than the Fey version, who might have been a better choice for McCain. Fred

    Posted by ffeldman at 10/21/2008 @ 02:31am

22. If I could just wave my magic wand like Tinkerbell.

    Posted by boing007 at 10/21/2008 @ 10:04am

23. You know Sarah danced in her chair really well on SNL, guess she was a natural back in the days of her sports caster-ship! I would love to see Sarah be interviewed again by an actual reporter instead of a conservative or religiously conservative that give her the questions before they are asked. How about real questions that are about real problems that we are facing as a nation. I don't understand why people associated with the GOP are not scared that she could be only a heart beat away from leading this country. It sure scares me that she could be leading us before she even knows (after 4 attempts so far) what the VP's job description is.

    Posted by jaywaone at 10/22/2008 @ 1:46pm

24. I only hope for Alaska's sake that Sarah Palin know what the job of a Governor is.

    Posted by phantastek at 10/22/2008 @ 2:02pm

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    Posted by phantastek at 10/22/2008 @ 2:05pm