Pets for Hillary

When Hillary Clinton says she's "in it to win," she is not kidding. She's mobilizing all of living creation for her drive to the Presidency, as you will see if you visit the Pets for Hillary page of VoteHillary.org.

"Is your pet an ardent Hillary Clinton for President Supporter? Share a photo of your animal friend supporting Hillary in 2008. In April we will have a competition to elect the pet mascot of the Hillary for President Campaign!," the site enthuses.

Please, no pictures of Bill. The contest rules bars him from running for campaign mascot, although it's not easy to keep him out of any contest. Any other living thing is eligible--for example Cheyenne and Moonlight, the two "Horses for Hillary" who have already ponied up and joined the contest.

They will have to beat out Maxie, of uncertain canine pedigree, who "is an avid Hillary Supporter, GO HILLARY!!!" Maxie, however, may be showing too much tooth to go far in politics.

Talk has it that someone, a bitter someone perhaps, from the Kucinich crowd has entered a jackass in the mascot contest.

Another approach is to name a mascot associated with the candidate. Thus Buddy, the Clinton's famous chocolate Labrador Retriever, would be a natural candidate, save for the unhappy circumstances of his death. The Clintons let him run unsupervised and he was killed by an automobile, as was his predecessor, Zeke, the Cocker Spaniel. As with her pro-war hawkishness, Ms. Clinton has some explaining to do if she hopes to cop the dog-lover vote.

Do the Clintons even like dogs or do they just have them around for political effect? Harry Truman had no affection for dogs and when given Feller, a Cocker Spaniel, he gave the little guy away but in a responsible fashion. You know the kind of the buck stops here guy he was. Apparently Feller lived to a happy, old age on an Ohio farm.

Hillary might want to take guidance from other presidential pet-owners. Among Calvin Coolidge's pets was Billy, the pygmy hippo, the raccoons, Rebecca and Horace, Ebeneezer, the donkey, Enoch, the goose, and Smoky, the bobcat. William Howard Taft had a cow named Wooly Mooly and William McKinley was the owner of a yellow-headed Mexican parrot whom he named (the) Washington Post. Woodrow Wilson had his pet ram, Old Ike, grazing on the White House lawn with a flock of ewes and Theodore Roosevelt - now there was an animal lover! - had more than 20 pets anyone of which would be a fine candidate for mascot-hood. Among them were Maude, the pig, Emily Spinach, the garter snake, Jonathan, the piebald rat, a macaw whose moniker was Eli Yale and a nameless one legged rooster.

Since Hillary is the target of many a harpoon and spear, she might want to consider giving the honor to an armadillo. They are unfortunately often short-lived, owing to their proclivity for walking up the middle of the road on the yellow stripe and becoming road kill.

Comments (30)

1. "Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky."---Charlemagne

   Posted by Mask at 03/08/2007 @ 1:06pm

2. My pet goat is all in for Hillary.

   Posted by MyParadigm at 03/08/2007 @ 1:39pm

3. "the two "Horses for Hillary" who have already ponied up and joined the contest.

   Which side of the Horse are for Hillary? I picture the back side myself....more in line with her persona.

   Posted by john maasch at 03/08/2007 @ 2:54pm

4. Pets for Hillary....my God...we are done for...

   Posted by john maasch at 03/08/2007 @ 2:54pm

5. Of course, we all got the subtext of von Hoffmann's last line--"Only thing in the middle of the road is a yeller stipe, dead armadillos, and triangulators from the DLC."

   Speaking of which . . . .

   We all ready for the candidacy of Darth Hillary, Phantom Menace?

   Here's the deal: Like Chuck Hagel, HRC has made a calculation against the prevailing position in her party. Hagel has come out against the war and the majority of GOP faithful on the chance that the Chimpy faction will drive the car off the cliff with the whole far right wing of the party, leaving the pragmatist country club faction to carry him home to nomination.

   HRC thinks that there are sufficient "me too" anti-war candidates--she can't win by out "me too-ing" the others, so she has decided to tack back to The Center. She's taken the tsk-tsking, disapproving approach of saying, "I voted to bomb the hell out of Saddam--but I would've done a better job of it than Chimpy." So now she hems and haws on troop withdrawal. She out-Bidens Biden in advocating an "it's a complicated region, let's not do anything rash, let's try tweaking the fiasco a bit first" approach to Iraq. Why? Because it's a principled position? Perhaps not. It might be that she is Biden-ing her time, giving the "surge" a chance to work its magic in hopes that it might bring the level of overt insurrection and violence down. That will weaken the anti-war position and make her craven scruple look like sagacious statecraft.

   The irony of this is that HRC and Chimpy are joined at the hip. The better Chimpy does, the better HRC will look. So let the conversation begin . . . and begin . . . and begin . . . and begin . . .

   Posted by goyadad at 03/08/2007 @ 3:00pm

6. What does "HRC" stand for"

   Why, "Her Royal Clintonesse," naturellement! "Les laisser manger le gâteau."

   Posted by goyadad at 03/08/2007 @ 3:12pm

7. She also stands for very little dissention in the ranks and almost no real commitment to any fundamental values of social justice.

   Why, she'd make a great Republican! (In fact, she was one before she shape-shifted--Goldwater in '64.)

   Sorry about the dropped Q-mark in my last. :-(

   Posted by goyadad at 03/08/2007 @ 3:18pm

8. What does "HRC" stand for"

   Horse's Rearend Calling

   Posted by john maasch at 03/08/2007 @ 3:33pm

9. or Horse's Rearend Coming!!!!!!!!!!

   Posted by john maasch at 03/08/2007 @ 4:20pm

10. "He Remains Cuckolded"?

    Posted by Mask at 03/08/2007 @ 4:23pm

11. Mask,

    We could be off to the races here....I am not a very popular person on this site...remember old Billy and how he could feel their pain(after he felt their wife)...I feel the hate here...

    Posted by john maasch at 03/08/2007 @ 5:30pm

12. [From another thread on this site that pertains to this thread (at least where it started, "Pets for Hillary")]

    "Hillary would be an excellent President, absolutely! Nader is an idiot ego-maniac and his followers need to stop smoking the hashish and enter reality. The Nader followers are those people you see driving 1971 Omnis, eating macrobiotic diets, and killing their TV. Not that any of those things are terrible in themselves, but it's just not how most of us choose to live in the real world. Get real and vote for a real person. Vote Hillary!!!!"

    Posted by DENISEC 03/01/2007 @ 3:48pm

    "DENISEC" is Legion in the Democratic party. They don't know why they're voting, but by God they're voting the way they feel. Truly, for those who have kept the least track of HRC in her congressional peregrinations, the idea of an HRC presidential candidacy is enough to convince us to resurrect the body of Eugene Debs and run him on a 3rd party ticket. Even as a corpse, his policies would be more timely and progressive than those of HRC.

    But get used to it--she's got the money, and she's got the mindless minion zombies on the knee-jerk left. "Imagine that! A woman for President! Yea! Makes me so excited! Too bad Maggie Thatcher isn't available!"

    Hillary as a (sic) "real person"? What parallel Bizzarro universe are these people living in? When was Hillary ever being real? When she was communing with the ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt? When she was standing by her man over the Gennifer Flowers flap? When she sided with the Cheney government in giving it war powers in Iraq? When she chased after Obama in her "Black Like Me" attempt to grin in on the Selma march commemoration? Jumpin' Jehosaphat! From under what rock do these Loony Toons emerge?

    Posted by goyadad at 03/08/2007 @ 8:04pm

13. Ooops-- sorry . . . I just figured it out.

    DENISEC is another "Pet for Hillary." My bad. Won't happen again.

    Posted by goyadad at 03/08/2007 @ 8:08pm

14. Posted by JOHN MAASCH 03/08/2007 @ 5:30pm

    Remember JOHN, I'm a fan of post-1994 Bill....and actually a fan of post-1994 Hillary

    (when she disappeared).

    Posted by Mask at 03/08/2007 @ 9:46pm

15. Enjoying the circus, pwoggies? Well, before you go out and vote for Hillary, and you will vote for Hillary because you don't have the fucking spine to do anything else, you can get your warmfuzzies by looking at pictures of cutie-ootie widdle animals. Here's some more lovely pics for you mealy-mouthed robodem Hillary voters. [mindprod.com] Enjoy your war!

    Posted by AlanSmithee at 03/09/2007 @ 07:34am

16. and his followers need to stop smoking the hashish and enter reality.

    I don't know about your hood, but hashish hasn't been seen here for decades.tant pis.

    Posted by johannesrolf at 03/09/2007 @ 08:40am

17. Posted by ALANSMITHEE 03/09/2007 @ 07:34am | ignore this person

    cut the superior attitude, you ain't saying shit.

    Posted by johannesrolf at 03/09/2007 @ 08:41am

18. .I am not a very popular person on this site..

    stop whining about it, Maasch.

    Posted by johannesrolf at 03/09/2007 @ 08:42am

19. .I am not a very popular person on this site..

    stop whining about it, Maasch.

    Posted by JOHANNESROLF 03/09/2007 @ 08:42am | ignore this person

    No whine or brag...just fact...and no problem either.

    Posted by john maasch at 03/09/2007 @ 09:51am

20. We could be off to the races here....I am not a very popular person on this site...remember old Billy and how he could feel their pain(after he felt their wife)...I feel the hate here...

    Posted by JOHN MAASCH

    The hypocrisy is incredible. Fools still whining about Bill while their idiot continues in office. Zero credibility.

    And I don't think it's that you're "unpopular"; you're just pitied, old man.

    Have you ever seen The Big Lobowski, old man? You remind me of the lying hypocrite in the wheel chair, the moral cripple.

    Posted by mtspence05 at 03/09/2007 @ 3:20pm

21. I'd nominate a snake, if I had one, but I find them intolerable.

    Posted by ZERO 03/08/2007 @ 3:05pm | ignore this person

    Republicans do this routinely. You're not a Republican are you? (Didn't think so.)

    Posted by w_m_bear at 03/09/2007 @ 5:33pm

22. Have you ever seen The Big Lobowski, old man? You remind me of the lying hypocrite in the wheel chair, the moral cripple.

    Posted by MTSPENCE05 03/09/2007 @ 3:20pm

    And you remind me of Lobowski...need a White Russian, ah, man...dude.?

    Posted by john maasch at 03/09/2007 @ 7:59pm

23. In reallity, I wonder since PETA is upset with the genius ALGORE..then they must REALLY be nervous with Pets for Hillary...

    (give Bills history with ah, "Pets"(of the month)...hehe

    Posted by john maasch at 03/09/2007 @ 8:01pm

24. "you're just pitied, old man. "

    And all the old men just look at the young man and smile knowingly..

    Posted by john maasch at 03/09/2007 @ 8:03pm

25. Posted by RIO BRAVO 03/09/2007 @ 9:35pm

    Can I hear an AMEN brother!!!

    Posted by john maasch at 03/09/2007 @ 11:16pm

26. I had a bad dream the other night, and in it Hillary Clinton announced as her running mate none other than.......her husband, Wild Bill Clinton. Yes, that one.

    Sound ridiculous, or unconstitutional? Well it either is, or it isn't......depending on what your definition of "is" is.....Anyway, remember, you read it here first.....

    Posted by davebarlett at 03/09/2007 @ 11:16pm

27. How's that for a pet for Hillary?

    Posted by davebarlett at 03/09/2007 @ 11:16pm

28. Go vote in true numbers for a third party candidate.

    Posted by MADLIB 03/10/2007 @ 7:24pm

    And given those who will, will 95% be on the Left of the political spectrum....elect the Republican.

    Posted by Mask at 03/11/2007 @ 07:32am

29. I expect we will see a pet rock for Hillary eventually.

    Posted by ILOVEPHYSICS at 03/11/2007 @ 6:37pm

30. And you remind me of Lobowski...need a White Russian, ah, man...dude.?

    Posted by JOHN MAASCH

    If I had to choose between the two, I'd happily be the Dude. Sit in your wheelchair, tell you lies, wallow in your hypocrisy.

    "you're just pitied, old man. "

    And all the old men just look at the young man and smile knowingly..

    Posted by JOHN MAASCH

    I'm not that young. And you're not wise.

    Posted by mtspence05 at 03/12/2007 @ 10:58am