Disaster in Dodgertown: Manny is Banned for 50 Games

Somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout; but there is no joy in Dodgertown: mighty Manny has struck out.

Manny Ramirez, the baseball superstar who led Los Angeles to a record-breaking winning streak at home this season, has been banned from baseball for 50 games. He tested positive for performance enhancing drugs on Wednesday night, and the town is reeling.

The drug in question, according to news reports, was human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), identified by Wikipedia as "a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle." However Manny has never tested positive for steroids, and he said his doctor had prescribed it for "a medical condition."

The story seems fishy, and whoever figures out what really was going on should win a Pulitzer -- sounds like a job for Nation sports editor Dave Zirin.

Manny has been an amazing hitter. His stats are monumental: 20 career grand slams, the most of any active player; only one player in the history of the game has had more: Lou Gehrig, with 23. The day he was banned, his batting average was an awesome .360, and his on-base percentage was .500.

He's also been a delightful figure on the sports scene, known for irreverent and seemingly philosophical comments. Last week, when he didn't play on Sunday and was asked afterwards why, he laughed and told reporters that he liked "Sundays off."

The ban on Manny is terrible for fans -- and also has caused a crisis for Dodger marketing, which had featured special ticket sales for "Mannywood" in left field (his position), along with Manny jerseys, caps, dreadlock wigs, and Manny bobble-head dolls.

And some puffed-up pundits are angry: L.A. Times columnist Bill Plaschke called Manny "a selfish knucklehead" and "a charlatan." Plaschke, of course, is selfless and authentic.

The rest of us just feel really bad for Manny, and for the game.

He'll be back on July 3.

Comments (35)

1. Boy, talk about your "inside baseball" posts.

   heheh

   Posted by Mask at 05/08/2009 @ 1:00pm

2. gonadotropin

   nuff said...

   Posted by ibbleblibble at 05/08/2009 @ 1:48pm

3. Given the terrible start that the Angels have had, this brought at least a moment's relief from Dodger mania.

   Posted by antisocialist at 05/08/2009 @ 1:53pm

4. OK.......

   But then, Disasters are what Dodgertown specializes in.....LOL!

   Posted by Happy at 05/08/2009 @ 2:04pm

5. manny's gonna have a baby?

   Posted by frosty zoom at 05/08/2009 @ 2:37pm

6. Is anyone really surprised or saddened by this kind of thing anymore? I'd be more shocked if a headline read "Player found to be clean!"

   Posted by plainbruce at 05/08/2009 @ 4:37pm

7. Manny shoots, Manny scores!

   I think there should be two leagues; The Dirty League and the Clean League.

   The Dirty League requires that ALL the players shoot up steroids and HGH, etc. Then we can see a bunch of bloated shrink-dink dudes with giant biceps and anger management problems playing the great American pastime (which is video games and porn currently, but let's pretend for a moment).

   These players will all start to look like 'Casey, mighty Casey', tiny feet and huge bodies. Madonna will show up for every game with the kids in tow. America wants a spectacle... maybe they'll let lions roam free in the stadium... that would increase attendance!

   The clean team would, of course feature a lot of christian and scientologist sports dudes. No piercings, no gold necklaces, no tattoos. Just good clean fun.

   Otherwise, let's put a claus in these contracts that say you aren't gonna get paid if you are busted for steroid use. If you don't sign it, it would mean that you were planning on using banned substances all along. Removing the gray area in the contracts would very effectively enforce a ban on CHEATING. Which is what using steroids is.

   Posted by ficheye at 05/08/2009 @ 5:42pm

8. Go Red Wings!

   (Whoops, wrong sport)

   Posted by schnellerheinz at 05/08/2009 @ 6:10pm

9. gonadotropin

   Posted by ibbleblibble at 05/08/2009 @ 6:51pm

10. It started in 1994, when the Major League Players Association said "Screw You" to the fans and went on strike, forcing cancellation of the World Series. Of course, the fans said, "Please, please, come back, we need our baseball," and subsequently, attendance records were set, new palaces were built (with taxpayer funds in most cases), and the fans were happy, as were the players, who knew then that they could do damn near anything they want without SERIOUS accountability. So, sports fans, please don't show the phony indignation over the continued steroid use and wonder what can be done. Start by looking in a mirror.

    Posted by jarshadow at 05/08/2009 @ 7:24pm

11. So, sports fans, please don't show the phony indignation over the continued steroid use and wonder what can be done. Start by looking in a mirror. Posted by jarshadow at 05/08/2009 @ 7:24pm

    BS. No player announced they were going to juice up and go hit homers. Most of the blame goes to the owner's whore, Bud Selig. The job of the commissioner is to do what is best for the game. Selig seems to have not gotten that memo. He should have had drug testing in place 10 years ago. Appoint a commish who is going to look after the game, and put Selig on an iceberg in the Bering Sea.

    Posted by twillie at 05/08/2009 @ 9:15pm

12. Posted by twillie at 05/08/2009 @ 9:15pm | ignore this person | warn this person

    "BS. No player announced they were going to juice up and go hit homers..." Come again.....players announce they were going to juice up? Whew. However, I agree with the assessment of Bud Selig. Impotent is the best description of him as commissioner. One of baseball's most tragic days was the day Bart Giamatti died. I believe there was strong indication that he would have been the commissioner that would have stood up to the Players' Association and said, "OK, go ahead and strike...we'll lock you out, find replacement players and see how you fare on no salaries." Believe me, eventually even the strongest (and most gullible)fans would have discovered that we could live quite nicely, thank you, without major league baseball and it's spoiled brats.

    Posted by jarshadow at 05/08/2009 @ 9:42pm

13. I'm pretty sure most of the players in baseball are using steroids. It seems like most sports are rife with it, it's just about who can get away with it and who can't. Guess he was one of the unlucky ones.

    Posted by Cccomfo1 at 05/08/2009 @ 9:43pm

14. "I'm pretty sure most of the players in baseball are using steroids. It seems like most sports are rife with it, it's just about who can get away with it and who can't. Guess he was one of the unlucky ones." Posted by Cccomfo1 at 05/08/2009 @ 9:43pm

    Not true. The NFL has had steroid testing in place since 1993. It is strict, and they punish violators. Baseball looked the other way because Bonds and McGwire filled up stadiums. The people who should have been looking after the good of the game blew it big time, unlike the NFL.

    Posted by jarshadow at 05/08/2009 @ 9:42pm

    What I mean is, I'm a baseball fan, but I have no problem looking in a mirror. All fans were betrayed by this. We have no way of knowing what players are doing outside the park. The people who should have been overseeing, were not.

    Posted by twillie at 05/08/2009 @ 10:07pm

15. "Not true. The NFL has had steroid testing in place since 1993. It is strict, and they punish violators. Baseball looked the other way because Bonds and McGwire filled up stadiums. The people who should have been looking after the good of the game blew it big time, unlike the NFL."

    Uh, and that's obviously working real well.

    Since your average NFL player is almost guaranteed to be on steroids or HGH or some other malarkey.

    Make a simple rule, so we can stop devoting our attention to such a stupid subject: If you use steroids, you're not allowed to play if you're caught. Period.

    Granted it'll probably just make people find other ways around their piss tests, but at least it's definitive.

    Posted by TexasFlood at 05/08/2009 @ 11:26pm

16. Maybe we should have another congressional hearing about sports.

    Always a good waste of time and money.

    Posted by TexasFlood at 05/08/2009 @ 11:27pm

17. Never followed team sports of any kind, always concentrated on individual sports achievement like instinctive archery, some tennis, and exploratory hiking, purely recreational biking on occasion.

    Sports are for participatory enjoyment, athleticism, physical and mental development and primarily pure self enjoyment!

    I'm sure there are others where pure group participation like basketball, softball, bowling etc. are vastly enjoyed by many age levels. Most sports have been ruined by commercialism and excessive monetary rewards and profits.

    It is a sad commentary that sports are measured soley by the accelerated degree of competativeness, winning at any cost and the ability to aquire or spend sufficient money just to observe or participate.

    Who knows, maybe by reaching the 90's TV sports watching will be necessary as the only alternative!

    Posted by comancheamerican at 05/09/2009 @ 12:15am

18. "manny's gonna have a baby?"

    ~frosty zoom at 2:37pm

    lol!

    "...Most sports have been ruined by commercialism and excessive monetary rewards and profits.

    It is a sad commentary that sports are measured soley by the accelerated degree of competativeness, winning at any cost and the ability to aquire or spend sufficient money just to observe or participate..."

    ~"comanch" at 12:15am

    I think that's the most thoughtful post of yours I've ever read.

    I'm mildly shocked quite frankly. And perhaps even encouraged.

    Posted by b_kool_66 at 05/09/2009 @ 01:32am

19. Somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout...

    That would be in San Francisco!

    Posted by shalpern at 05/09/2009 @ 02:02am

20. Baseball?

    Posted by chaoszen at 05/09/2009 @ 05:19am

21. Posted by plainbruce at 05/08/2009 @ 4:37pm | ignore this person | warn this person

    aren't you on the wrong thread?

    thanks for gratuitously smearing ALL ball players.

    Posted by emile duBois at 05/09/2009 @ 10:53am

22. let's put a claus in these contracts

    what's Santa gonna do 'bout it?

    Posted by emile duBois at 05/09/2009 @ 10:55am

23. I'm pretty sure most of the players in baseball are using steroids.

    how the f8ck would you know? guilt by profession?

    Twillie is correct. other sports, such a cycling, were way ahead on the doping issue.

    Posted by emile duBois at 05/09/2009 @ 10:58am

24. > Manny has been an amazing hitter.

    Manny is an amazing FREAK, care of "better living*** through chemistry."

    *** As long as "better living" is defined by the size of your paycheck.

    Baseball, once (oh, SO long ago) the "thinking man's game," was always my favorite professional sport. I gave up sports completely after "...the 23rd baseball strike."

    Grown men, playing a child's game for millions, going on strike every 3-5 years because they are "underpaid" - and becoming one big group of bad laboratory experiments. FREAKS.

    I'm PROUD to say I'd never even heard the name "Manny Ramirez" until this broke. The best HUMAN slugger of all time was HANK AARON, JR.

    Baseball, it's too late to heal thyself. The game has already been ruined.

    Posted by grndrush at 05/09/2009 @ 2:39pm

25. > Manny has been an amazing hitter.

    Manny is an amazing FREAK, care of "better living*** through chemistry."

    *** As long as "better living" is defined by the size of your paycheck.

    Baseball, once (oh, SO long ago) the "thinking man's game," was always my favorite professional sport. I gave up sports completely after "...the 23rd baseball strike."

    Grown men, playing a child's game for millions, going on strike every 3-5 years because they are "underpaid" - and becoming one big group of bad laboratory experiments. FREAKS.

    I'm PROUD to say I'd never even heard the name "Manny Ramirez" until this broke. The best HUMAN slugger of all time was HANK AARON, JR.

    Baseball, it's too late to heal thyself. The game has already been ruined.

    Posted by grndrush at 05/09/2009 @ 2:39pm

26. i hear joe the plumbber is gonna take his spot on the roster......

    Posted by frosty zoom at 05/09/2009 @ 2:55pm

27. Manny brought a sense of irreverence to the game, and a bit of "street". he grew up in the every nabe I live in.

    to the Hank Aaron fan, you're living in the past. I suggest you open the windows wide and let some air in.

    Posted by emile duBois at 05/09/2009 @ 4:12pm

28. in the very nabe...

    Posted by emile duBois at 05/09/2009 @ 4:12pm

29. to the Hank Aaron fan, you're living in the past. I suggest you open the windows wide and let some air in.

    Posted by emile duBois at 05/09/2009 @ 4:12pm | ignore this person | warn this person

    I prefer to live in the past, where Hank Aaron and Sandy Koufax were models of sportsmanship and excellence. I tried opening the windows and letting some air in, but the air turned foul after the 1994 strike.

    Posted by jarshadow at 05/10/2009 @ 03:17am

30. http://www.thenation.com/blogs/action/ignore.mhtml?who=jarshadow

    maybe try soccer. Christiano Ronaldo, the best player in da woild.

    Posted by emile duBois at 05/10/2009 @ 11:33am

31. grndrush,

    You said above "....... The best HUMAN slugger of all time was HANK AARON, JR......"

    This is true.

    I was watching the game on television the night that Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's home run record.

    That was an exciting evening. Hank Aaron became the all time home run king.

    Today, in 2009, in my opinion, Hank Aaron is still the all time home run king. In my opinion, nobody has broken his record.

    Posted by sjchermak at 05/10/2009 @ 6:22pm

32. Today, in 2009, in my opinion, Hank Aaron is still the all time home run king. In my opinion, nobody has broken his record.

    Posted by sjchermak at 05/10/2009 @ 6:22pm | ignore this person | warn this person

    I couldn't agree more...I was watching the game that night also....Too bad we don't have a commissioner with enough balls to rescind Bond's and McGwire's records, reinstate Aaron's and Maris' records, and then impose LIFETIME bans from baseball's hall of fame on any player proven to have used steroids and other HGHs.

    Posted by jarshadow at 05/10/2009 @ 7:52pm

33. Christiano Ronaldo, the best player in da woild.

    Posted by emile duBois at 05/10/2009 @ 11:33am

    stick to correcting people's spellling.

    Posted by frosty zoom at 05/11/2009 @ 12:42am

34. 'Modern Pentathlon has become drug-free sport. The One-Day format has discouraged prohibited behaviors as there is no interest in using drugs for shooting when fencing comes right after it. Anabolic substances are not useful in a sport that does not place the success of the winner only on his physical skills, but in his overall physical and intellectual harmony.' -- http://www.pentathl on.org/index.php?id=39

    Posted by HonestLiberal at 05/11/2009 @ 1:01pm

35. So what? Manny Rodriguez is a drug cheat just like Bonds, Canseco, McGwire, Giambi, ad infinitum. When was the last time you made that kinda money?

    Posted by leontrot at 05/11/2009 @ 10:04pm