Michelle Obama, Mom-in-Chief

With Mother's Day approaching I want to think about Michelle Obama's assertion that her primary role as First Lady is "Mom-in-Chief."

Many progressive feminists were distressed with Michelle's assertion of motherhood as her primary role. They hoped she would seek a more aggressive policy agenda. After all Michelle Obama is a graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School. She spent her career as an effective advocate for urban communities in their fraught relationship with powerful institutions. She is smart, capable, and independent. She maintained her own career and ambitions throughout Barack's early political career and even during his election to the U.S. Senate.

Truth is, some of us who were in the orbit of the Obamas ten years ago believed Michelle, not Barack, was the real star of the couple. So while I don't think anyone expected her to commute to a 9-to-5 job in D.C; many hoped that she would take on an independent political role in the Obama administration.

Instead, Michelle has crafted a more traditional role for herself. She is highly visible, but she has taken on relatively safe issues like childhood literacy, advocacy for women and girls, and support of military families. Even her White House garden is framed more as an initiative for healthy eating and quality family meals than as a statement of commitment to local foods as an effort against global climate change.

Early in the primaries Michelle's gentle teasing of her "rock star" husband made him seem more human and led many to believe that the Obamas would be models for gender equity in the White House. While the mutual respect between the couple remains evident, these days Michelle is more frequently photographed with her head on Barack's shoulder, grasping his hand at public events, or evading reporters by stealing brief, romantic walks on the White House grounds. The outspoken Michelle Obama that made many bristle with anxiety during the campaign has been replaced by a woman who makes us collectively say, "aaaaahhhhh" when we see her with her husband, children, and even her new dog.

Over the past several months I have received many press inquiries from reporters and scholars who are anxious about the ascendance of this kinder, gentler Michelle Obama. They worry that Michelle is being manufactured and handled in a way that thwarts her authenticity and undermines the efforts of feminist movements committed to the notion that women can and should have both family and career.

This is a potentially fair criticism, but I want to complicate this easy narrative a bit by encouraging us to remember that as an African American woman the stereotypes against which Michelle is struggling are distinct from those that seek to limit and inhibit white women.

White, middle-class, gender norms in the United States have generally asserted that women belong in the domestic sphere. These norms have limited white women's opportunities for education and employment. But the story has been different for women of color and women from poor and working class origins. These women have faced the requirement of employment and the shouldered the extreme burden of attempting to effectively parent while providing financially for their families. Black women were full participants in agricultural labor during slavery, the backbreaking work of sharecropping, and the domestic services of Jim Crow. Even middle class and elite black women have typically worked as teachers, journalists, entrepreneurs, and professionals. At every level of household income and at every point in American history, black women have been much more likely to engage in paid labor than their white counterparts. Even Claire Huxtable worked full time!

So when Michelle Obama makes a choice to focus on supporting her daughters through their school transition and providing companionship to her husband as he governs she is not really conforming to norms. She is surprisingly thwarting expectations of black women's role in the family and representing a different image of black women than we are used to encountering in this country.

As mom-in-chief Michelle Obama also subverts a deep, powerful, and old public discourse on black women as bad mothers. Enslaved black women had no control over their own children. Their sons and daughters could be sold away from them without their consent, or brutally disciplined without their protection. So when a black woman claims public ownership of her children she helps rewrite that ugly history.

In the modern era, black mothers have been publicly shamed as crack mothers, welfare queens, and matriarchs. Black single motherhood is blamed for all manner of social ills from crime to drugs to social disorder. And black mothers are often represented in popular culture and the public imagination as domineering household managers whose unfeminine insistence on control both emasculates their potential male partners and destroys their children's future opportunities. These public images of black motherhood encourage the state not to assist black mothers as women doing the best they can in tough circumstances, but instead to blame them as unrelenting cheats who unfairly demand assistance from the system.

Michelle Obama is an important corrective to this distorted view of black motherhood. She and her own mother, Grandma Robinson, are kind, devoted, loving, and firm black mothers who challenge the negative images that dominate the public discourse on black motherhood.

There is a potential danger here. Michelle Obama's public persona of traditionalism could be used as a discursive weapon against women who do not conform to this domestic ideal. The majority of black mothers are working women who struggle to raise their children without husbands and often without adequate financial support from partners or the state. It would be easy to use the Obamas to reassert that black women's salvation can be found in submission to patriarchy. This is a narrative that could undercut support for public policies focused on creation of a just and equal political and economic structure, by focusing us instead on"marriage" and "family values" as solutions to structural barriers facing black communities. But these conservative discourses have never needed any particular excuse to exist. They have been the dominant frame for discussions of racial inequality for nearly 40 years, long before Michelle Obama began to rewrite the script on black motherhood.

Therefore, despite that rhetorical dangers, I must admit to reveling in Michelle Obama as mom-in-chief. I am a divorced, single mother who adores my work, but I am moved to see a black woman in a loving, egalitarian marriage who finds herself enjoying the privilege of focusing on her children and serving her country. There is something powerful, subversive, and new in Michelle Obama's traditionalism.

On this Mother's Day I will celebrate my sisters, my aunts, my mother, and my friends who are mothers. Some of these women are white and some are black. Each woman was shaped by the powerful social, political, and economic forces that framed her life and her choices as a parent. I celebrate the creative ways they responded to those challenges and how their choices made possible the world I now encounter as a woman and mother. This year I will also celebrate Michelle Obama and the new world of possibilities that she creates by her dignified embrace of her role as "mom-in-chief."

Comments (32)

1. Kind of hard to criticize Michelle Obama for being a good wife and mother. But I'm sure some on both ends of the political spectrum will try.

   Posted by antisocialist at 05/05/2009 @ 2:04pm

2. Geez leweez. Why are the feminists always complaining about shit? Are any of the visible "feminists" black women? They have problems with everything. I think they would have been happier with the "crazy black woman" persona. I think they're comfortable with that stereotype. I think these same white women who claim to want to destroy stereotypes want Michele to become one. I see nothing wrong with Michele expressing her love for Obama openly or, better yet, doing whatever the hell she wants to do. I will quote Martin Lawrence and say, "You go girl!". It seems that Michele will march to the rhythm of her own drum. It's insulting to her if these feminists thought otherwise.

   Posted by k330k at 05/05/2009 @ 2:11pm

3. But I'm sure some on both ends of the political spectrum will try.---Posted by antisocialist at 05/05/2009 @ 2:04pm

   Sign of the Apocalypse....me and Larry agree!

   heheh

   Posted by Mask at 05/05/2009 @ 2:17pm

4. Sign of the Apocalypse....me and Larry agree!

   heheh

   Posted by Mask at 05/05/2009 @ 2:17pm

   The good news is that hell just froze over.

   Posted by antisocialist at 05/05/2009 @ 2:24pm

5. Posted by antisocialist at 05/05/2009 @ 2:24pm

   Somebody better call Dick Cheney and tell him to pack a parka!

   (See, back to our old selves in minutes...heheh)

   Posted by Mask at 05/05/2009 @ 2:30pm

6. Were progrezzivs hoping that she be given some task, like maybe running a health care task force or something?

   Posted by sntauri at 05/05/2009 @ 2:47pm

7. While I believe it likely that Michelle Obama is capable of more than just being a source of fashion commentary, I am very glad she didn't try to pull a Hillary. We only need one president at a time. And just because Michelle Obama is a woman doesn't mean she has to fit into the narrow mold allowed women by some feminist thinkers. Being a symbol to the nation of, for example, being a good mother, is a fine thing in and of itself.

   Posted by syfriendly at 05/05/2009 @ 2:58pm

8. Posted by sntauri at 05/05/2009 @ 2:47pm

   or running an ENERGY task force and keeping its agenda secret for years to come?

   Posted by Mask at 05/05/2009 @ 3:07pm

9. posted by MELISSA HARRIS-LACEWELL on 05/05/2009 @ 1:46pm

   I focus less on Michelle Obama as an individual in the context you are writing in today - the context of cultural thought on gender and race norms - than I focus on the image of "family" the Obamas are presenting the nation's media with. I think that both Obamas are presenting together a very strong and important image of a functional, reasonable family, with two strong parent figures who respect each other and remain committed to their lives and children. Communities of color in particular what you might call "black America" struggle a lot with broken families. My point to you is that the way that Michelle Obama's image as a mother subverts certain images of black women as failed mothers, etc., is the same way that Barack Obama's image as a traditional father figure and a highly successful professional subverts the very serious and heavy images of failure that haunt black men.

   Take them both together as a couple, then you can see how powerful their image is. Their "traditionalism" together is a completely needed and radical transformative image in a country where being african-american is equated with so man negative images.

   Posted by syfriendly at 05/05/2009 @ 3:09pm

10. As the first lady, Michelle Obama is seen as a motherly figure not only in the United States but in many areas of the world. The U.S. should do more to address severe poverty in these parts of the world that view us with fondness. The Borgen Project has good info on the estimated cost of ending global poverty:

    $30 billion: Annual shortfall to end world hunger. $550 billion: U.S. Defense budget.

    Posted by davidwaters at 05/05/2009 @ 5:12pm

11. Kind of hard to criticize Michelle Obama for being a good wife and mother. But I'm sure some on both ends of the political spectrum will try.

    Posted by antisocialist at 05/05/2009 @ 2:04pm

    Agreed. This is completely ridiculous. True feminism is about giving women the the CHOICE to work and run a family or to just run a family and no one should be looked down on for making the choice to run a family because that is harder than any other job.

    Posted by Cccomfo1 at 05/05/2009 @ 5:17pm

12. Melissa: Wow. Your message here is that Michelle Obama is a black woman (of privilege, not your day to day single, hard working mom, who financially provides for her family) who revels in her new "job". I for one love seeing her "warm" side. And yes, because Barack is our President, she can enjoy her role as First Lady. Recently, the "job" has been quite a problem as the more recent occupants of the White House were more aggressive, feminist women, beginning with Hillary Clinton. She was not your usual First Lady, quite the opposite. She was independent, co-equal with her husband and if you didn't like it, tough! Laura Bush played a more traditional role, but that's who she is. Michelle is who she is, and she's lucky to have a husband who openly adores her. If you haven't noticed, she kind of likes him too! She's a great mom too, even her own mother Marian says her job as "grand" is easier because they're good parents. Anyway, to ALL moms, Happy Mother's Day!!

    Posted by debbie061653 at 05/05/2009 @ 7:03pm

13. Michelle is fantastic, and seems comfortable with herself and the life she is carving out in Washington. My only minor discomfort is that the choice she's made is the only one whites can be comfortable with, in essence, she's doing what a white woman can do, being white, if you will. She would evoke those nasty stereotypes of black women and shrill feminists if she took on a more pro-active role on a particular issue.

    However I was glad to read Harris-Lacewell's analysis of Michelle subverting old images of black women. very interesting.

    I also think her role will evolve, and at some point maybe the media will find a way to cover her other than focusing on her clothes, her arms, etc.

    Posted by AllieE at 05/05/2009 @ 10:57pm

14. Let's not downplay the value and importance of motherhood.

    After decades of many women being distressed about effectively dividing their time between; self, relationship, career, and motherhood, this particular woman decided that supporting her family while they are under the global microscope is more important than also trying to be president. I might imagine that now would be a very important transition for her children and the support of a mother cannot easily be substituted with that of a nanny.

    I difficult to hear that anyone would want to condemn her even in the slightest for her dedication to her children and supporting her husband. I am all for having a dynamic career and fulfilling one's intellectual potential but really if any part of the women's movement was about the right to choose, why is it wrong to choose to support the family one chose to help make?

    Posted by stina at 05/07/2009 @ 01:57am

15. Part of the problem here is that motherhood is seen as somehow less worthy than other roles. This, like many other professions (and, yes, motherhood SHOULD be seen as a profession) that have traditionally deligated to mostly women, is often denigrated. What can possibly be more important than the methods used to educate and instill moral standards in our children? The fact that motherhood is unpaid labor should certainly not influence our appreciation of it, although it most often does.

    I understand a different feminist position - what if Michelle Obama were president and Barack Obama were the spouse? Would he have had to give up his career to focus on the duties of the spouse of the president? It's unlikely that it would be expected of him. But suppose he saw it as an opportunity to spend more time with his family? (Of course, he'd probably be attacked by the wingnuts as being unmanly, but that's their problem.)

    It's not a simple issue, and there are many valid opinions concerning gender roles. Michelle Obama has chosen to take one that allows her to play a very important part in the lives of her children - supposedly our most important asset.

    Posted by LeeAnnG at 05/07/2009 @ 3:31pm

16. I have lots of comments about this one.

    First, the goal of the feminist movement wasn't just to allow women to "make their own choices." The object was to abolish male privilege in all of our institutions, including the family. As long as a woman is economically dependent on her husband and puts his career first, she is keeping him in the dominant role.

    Second, I like Michelle Obama, but I am disappointed in her. During the campaign, it looked like she was going to work on making the "work-family" balance more fair for wage-earning mothers. But as far as I can tell, Michelle has done very little on this issue. Indeed, is the White House Council on Women and Girls really doing anything or it just a window dressing?

    Third, I do not think Michelle and Barack are an egalitarian couple. Barack's career has always come first, he has never been an equal parenting partner to Michelle, he constantly uses sexist language (i.e., you guys), and so on.

    Fourth, I understand that by being a "mom-in-chief," Michelle is subverting stereotypes about black mothers. However, she is still perpetuating patriarchy. If Barack really believes in equality, he needs to say, "After I get out of the White House, Michelle's career comes first and yes, I am willing to be a househusband." As a pro-feminist black male friend told me, "If Barack said anything close to that, it would be a true step forward for all men."

    Fifth, I object to statements like "pull a Hillary." Hey, it's about time we started paying First Ladies a salary. If we ever get a First Gentleman, you can be damn sure he will not work for free.

    Posted by ktrig at 05/07/2009 @ 7:56pm

17. I don't think there is anything new, powerful, and subversive in Michelle Obama's "traditionalism" (read: patriarchy). Sometimes, Barack sounds Victorian, as when he said that his family was a refuge from the stress of being President. Please, Barack, you still have to do family work.

    I never thought Barack Obama was even remotely pro-feminist. True, he's much better than Bush and the Republicans, but really, he just gets a C on women's rights, not an A. On that front, he's not in the same league as Bachelet and Zapatero.

    Ms. Magazine doesn't want to hear it, but Barack Obama is not what a feminist looks like. I voted for him and was thrilled and relieved when he and the Democrats won, but he and Michelle could do so much more for women's rights (and other issues).

    I suppose that before the next election, Michelle will "evolve" and talk about the work-family balance. In front of an all-woman crowd, Barack will say that a mother shouldn't have to choose between family and career. But he won't say it to other men and after he wins the next election, it will be the same song all over again.

    I wonder what Michelle would do if Barack pulled a Bill Clinton or Elliot Spitzer on her. She'd probably do what almost all political wives do - stand by her man and "forgive" him. And I'm sure many would consider it "powerful and subversive," even though it just perpetuates the status quo. It makes me wonder if political marriages have any integrity.

    Posted by ktrig at 05/07/2009 @ 10:14pm

18. My, my. It's apparent that people are "digging" to find something negative on First Lady Michelle Obama. Give it up! She is a highly-educated woman of style, poise, grace, value, virtue (and I could go on and on). She has a right to CHOOSE whatever "job" she wants to. I applaud her highly. A major problem with we AMERICANS is that we have lost our sense of value and morals. Just like Miss America's runner-up, some of us still believe in traditional values. We all have opinions. Quit trying to change other's. You have the right to disagree but if you are comfortable in your own skin, you can have your own agenda. I admire Michelle for putting family first and unless others do the same, we will perish. That's what's happening to a lot of our CHILDREN, no one is home to raise them and they are becoming a LOST GENERATION. What an honor to be partnered with someone like President Barack Obama that Michelle can take great pleasure in her roles as a mother and wife. It's apparent that her ratings as First Lady are at an all-time high by citizens around the world. Not that it matters, but I am an African-American single woman and I would GIVE UP my high-paying career to emulate Michelle Obama.

    Posted by ChocAKA at 05/07/2009 @ 10:31pm

19. GREAT article. Not enough of this perspective is heard- instead, they choose to objectify her body parts.

    Posted by MackanyOne at 05/08/2009 @ 9:26pm

20. "I admire Michelle for putting family first and unless others do the same, we will perish."

    The Nation has such a double standard on parenting. Hey, we need to demand that all fathers put their families first. And yes, that means they need to make major career sacrifices and be equal parenting partners to their spouses.

    When Obama started to run for president, I didn't support him partly because he had young children. I did vote for Obama in the presidential election, but like everything in politics, I had to compromise. No way was I going to vote for McCain.

    Posted by ktrig at 05/08/2009 @ 10:46pm

21. "The Nation" once again does not let me down. It keeps proving time and time again that it is the left that can't get beyond the race issue. Yet, it has the nerve to charge that those of us on the right are racists. Go figure!

    Posted by fram at 05/09/2009 @ 03:57am

22. Perhaps the real genius is in promoting family and community values with a woman's velvet glove, rather than blunt force arguments? Perhaps the First Lady is going to prove women's rights have advanced to the point a woman can be more influential being herself? Perhaps being the best wife and mom she can be truly are her first priorities? Perhaps the example of an able and accomplished woman with such priorities will benefit the nation more than any other role she might undertake as First Lady? Perhaps we'll be nominating her one day?

    Posted by Staggslaw at 05/09/2009 @ 08:20am

23. I find it interesting that Michelle is being lauded for being "Mom in Chief" when millions of women have been doing the same without staff, advisers and a makeup artist for those "special" social events. I am sure when she had her high powered high paying job in Chicago and living in her million dollar home, bought in the "bad" Bush economy she wasn't out there planting gardens, helping military families etc. I admire women who do a lot more with a lot less out of the public eye. Her life style now has afforded her these new opportunities. Her kids are in school all day and she has more help than any other mom. Nothing wrong with that but just keep it all in perspective.

    Posted by kamill at 05/09/2009 @ 10:31am

24. This article is so nauseatingly pc in so many respects IT MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP !

    Posted by witbooi at 05/09/2009 @ 11:30am

25. It's difficult to know how much reality underpins the carefully crafted image, but my guess is some...just not the reality one might expect. The current First Lady is a recruit of the elite, as is her husband, and not much more.

    The feminist hoo-ha in the article is just so much irrelevant noise."Women" like these never spoke for most of the real women in this country, and never will. Ignore them.

    Posted by JC_Fremont at 05/09/2009 @ 12:20pm

26. This is potentially the dumbest article I have ever read (and I have read most if not all of Maureen Dowd's columns over the past 2 years). The analysis seems to have come from the mind of 19 year sorority girl an in introduction to feminist thought class who is trying to justify her participation and adoration of a patriarchal institution as somehow subversive and disruptive to the normative order. I have had enough of supposed feminists rationalizing the behavior of Michelle Obama as progressive and feminist.

    I am even more annoyed by the (sometimes not so subtle) subtext that runs beneath these comments about the role Hillary Clinton enacted as first lady. What I find most amusing about this, is that there is little doubt that the relationship between Michelle and Barack is a parallel to the relationship between Bill and Hillary. Both power couples with top tier law school degrees. Both couples where each partner (a term loosely employed to describe the Obamas) are capable and accomplished in their own right. But the Obamas are palatable to us culturally because they have enacted a gendered relationship that we recognize: Man/Provider and Woman/Homemaker. The Clintons on the other hand are problematic, and to sanction them we call Hillary a lesbian, nut cracker, and bitch. Most offensive to feminists should be that Michelle Obama took part in this Hillary-bashing.

    I am not dumb enough to believe that a woman with two Ivy degrees did not recognize this societal reaction and carefully craft her role as first lady to conform to expectations. That is the CHOICE Michelle Obama made and I refuse to recognize that choice as somehow subversive or feminist. That choice is calculating and exploits cultural norms in a way that, in turns reifies those norms.

    Posted by seriously at 05/09/2009 @ 1:02pm

27. To witbooi - if the PC-ness of this article bothers you, why waste your time reading. It really puzzles me why people spend so much time and energy trolling politically-oriented sites that they abhor simply to trash them. It does no one any good, including yourself. Why not spend your time reading something that you think informs you and gives you new insight?

    Regarding "visible black women feminists" and the subversion of traditional roles, bell hooks has some very interesting things to say that may further contextualize some of the issues addressed in the article.

    Posted by Lan Zi at 05/10/2009 @ 03:23am

28. Thank you for this much needed article. The complexity of the lives of women of color and working class women are often lost in a world that generalizes about women's issues and loses the ways in which gender intersects with other identities such as race, class, ethnicity, sexual orientation, disability, etc. Understanding this has become the norm in Women's Studies for over two decades and yet rarely makes its way into more popular accounts of women's lives. It's as if the feminist movement and women's issues were frozen in the 1970s. Black feminist thought has been central to this transformation. I teach at a multi-racial, working class college where students (male and female) appreciate the range of gender issues that help them to understand their lives in 2009.

    Posted by ckrauss at 05/10/2009 @ 09:06am

29. to "seriously" --

    Would any "progressive" swallow this treacle if the First Couple were white? As we found in the 1980s it was only possible to do "Father Knows Best" with an African-American family, a.k.a. "The Cosby Show".

    Posted by JC_Fremont at 05/10/2009 @ 12:52pm

30. As an AfroCuban currently visiting Cuba, i watched TV (yes we have them 56+ inches too!) today with my family and once again noticed how respected Michelle has become around the world. As i told my family today on Mothers day, this was not always the case. In the beginning there were satire jokes made about this very soft and gentle woman and i do believe that for many it was a simple case of jealousy. Most are not accustomed to seeing beautifulAfrican descended women in high positions and this just simply blew some less cultured and uneducated haters away.

    How dare this black woman the daughter of slaves lie in the same bed that George Washington, Thomas Jeffersaon et/al laid in? (both slave holders the beds has been thrown away with each new pres) Moreover how dare this African descended man with the terrorist middle name dare to gve orders to white men and women?

    Awe shucks bubba pour me a drink, let me have some buckshot, git my sheet, and my dog and git my truck with the kkk flag, we gonna kick some butt ..

    For all who say that this is a new day, turn on your TV in america and see 4 yourselves the insanity, every word this woman sppeaks is destined or platinum, every item she wears is discussed, her hair her makeup her sneakers that cost $500.00 the late night kiss, hugs etc..get a life media and especially you over feminist white ladies..This is a new day..and Obama is just an american President get over it

    Posted by Withoutacountry at 05/10/2009 @ 8:50pm

31. Can you tell mom-in-chief to take a look at the dead and burnt bodies of the hundreds of children dying because of 'coalition' attacks in Afghanistan? Please?

    Posted by saba at 05/10/2009 @ 10:04pm

32. While I appreciate the history lesson and the context, I believe that there is a layer missing in the Mom and Chief discussion. I am a feminist, I work for equal opportunity diligently and what I work for is a country in which motherhood and care taking is valued as much or more than all other paid careers. Michelle's role as Mom and Chief can elevate the status of all mothers, all mothering. She has all ready elevated the role of Grandmother by introducing the First Grandmother and demonstrating the important role of Grandmother in the Obama's family life. Michelle's first 100 days are impressive. I ask her critics to give her sometime to learn, to grow and to influence the opportunities she will be privileged to become aware of and be involved in. Eleanor Roosevelt didn't get it all right the first try. Michelle's life has all ready been breath takingly productive. Let us respect and learn from how Michelle navigates her child bearing and rearing years with the awesome responsibility and privilege of First Lady. Few have done this in the history of the world as elegantly as she has all ready done. An enduring problem of attaining and maintaining equality is the blind spot in economic theory that does not account for unpaid work. We do not know as First Lady what well placed word, what look of understanding , what small gesture Michelle will execute with world leaders and the public at large. History has shown that often it is the art of the small gesture that negotiates and changes the world. I am thankful that we have a mother in office that tenderly makes small meaningful gestures with her daughter, and husband. It is her way, it is what loving mother's do. It is what the world will benefit from. Maybe Mom in Chief is just what the world needs.

    Posted by sandrapriebe at 05/11/2009 @ 09:16am