OK. I have to admit it. It's time for me, like many other reporters who ought to know better, to look myself straight in the face and ask: Are you crushing on Mike Huckabee?

Dear God, surely not. His social views are positively Pat Robertsonian--the Family Marriage Amendment and all that. But I have been spending some time on the "I Heart Huckabee" online circuit, looking at videos and web sites devoted to Hearting the latest version of a neo-populist from Hope, Arkansas. And there are times when Huckabee strikes me as awfully refreshing. He talks about his scratchy roots in more appropriately earthly ways than John Edwards: "On my mother's side of the family, I'm one generation away from dirt floors and outdoor toilets. On my father's side of the family, there's not a male upstream from me that even graduated high school."

He often governed in a most un-Republican way in Arkansas, too. "He was pro-life and pro-gun, but otherwise a liberal," says one of his longtime right-wing foes. That's an overstatement. But the bass-playing Baptist preacher does say surprisingly smart things about domestic issues once they're outside the realms of the "moral." Then "Islamofascism" starts rolling off his silver tongue, and I'm slapped back to reality. He'd probably be a lousy President. Although there's no question that one good thing might come of that lousiness: Huckabee seems like a guy who could help re-orient Christian values at the ballot box. He talks a lot about poverty, about prison reform, about preventive health care and rehabilitation and treatment and fairness for everybody. He won 48 percent of black votes for governor one year in Arkansas.

"We ... have to be conservationists and be good stewards of the earth," he said the other day on Good Morning America. "We have to deal with issues like poverty, and AIDS. If we don't do that, we're not even being true to our own Christian beliefs." Huckabee often sounds like an anti-capitalist Christian, and these are sweet sounds to hear after the strange years when evangelicals went all Wall Street. Huckabee might just be the guy to get working-class evangelicals thinking about advancing a political agenda that aims to do more than hold back gay rights and women's rights and advance the profits of mega-corporations--an agenda that ultimately will get some of those folks looking to Democrats as well as Republicans. That's some progress, at least. And while he was recently endorsed by the Christian Reconstructionist aiming to be the next Jerry Falwell, the unhinged Rev. Rick Scarborough of Texas, Huckabee also garnered an unusual political nod from the leader of the "purpose-driven" evangelical movement, Rick Warren, who pointed to "his uncanny ability to identify with normal people in ways that many leaders don't" as well as "his self-deprecating humor. That's a key sign of a spiritually and emotionally healthy leader--someone who is comfortable with himself, is authentic, doesn't wear a mask, and is secure enough to be humble. People love that."

Huckabee's chances remain slim, with so little money and so little organization. And the more the cameras are on him, the more nutty things he'll be seen saying--ike in his unquestionably stirring speech at the Values Voters summit, where he noted that we wouldn't have needed all these Hispanic immigrants in America if we hadn't been aborting all our own fetuses. Max Blumenthal asked Huckabee, at a subsequent press conference, if he really thought those American fetuses would have grown up to mow everybody's lawns and clean their houses. Huckabee's answer did not inspire confidence in his logical reasoning skills, much less his vaunted candor.

Even if he were to sneak up and win Iowa, riding a tide of dissatisfaction that might swell in favor of the most unconventional-sounding candidate (one with real charm, unlike the shrill Ron Paul), the chances of Huckabee's building a political machine to rival Giuliani's (or Romney's) by February 5 would be almost nil. But Huckabee would be hard to top as a vice-presidential candidate, for either of the front-running Northeasterners. He would be the ideal guy to chase after Hillary, if she wins the Democratic nomination, and also to tear into John Edwards if he happens to emerge. He would add a dash of recognizable humanity to Romney, and put the occasional, much-needed grin on Giuliani's mug. He'd also help a little to shore up that social conservative enthusiasm the Republicans can't win without.

All of which means that there just might be more than enough time for folks like me to progress from fascination with Huckabee to a far more healthy loathing. Lord, let it be so.

Comments (10)

1. He has a bad tendency to crack bad jokes, Mr Moser.

   Or even worse bad analogies. Such as his comparison of "liberalized abortion" to the Holocaust...or his own weight loss to being in a concentration camp. (Both of which caught him flak from Jewish groups).

   Posted by Mask at 11/02/2007 @ 12:12pm

2. yeah...those millions of abortions could be working shit jobs right now, squeezing the mexicans right out of the country too...

   Posted by ibbleblibble at 11/02/2007 @ 12:23pm

3. I know what you mean.

   Rudy is such a goon and Romney is such a Stepford wife.

   Posted by Lil at 11/02/2007 @ 1:48pm

4. Of course, there's that whole problem of Hucakabee letting that murderer-rapist out of prison because the victim was a distant relative of the Clintons'. [pandagon.blogsome.com] Gosh, what a lovable guy!

   Posted by loneoak at 11/02/2007 @ 6:21pm

5. Posted by LONEOAK 11/02/2007 @ 6:21pm

   Problem with that attack....it seems hypocritical after Dukakis and Willie Horton...for BOTH sides, but mainly for the Dems who defended Dukakis.

   Posted by Mask at 11/02/2007 @ 7:46pm

6. Look, even G. W. Bush did this "compassionate conservative" shtick. He didn't fool anybody except the evangelicals, and quite possibly himself. The plutocratic Republicans, for example, were not fooled; they knew Bush could be counted on to cut taxes on the rich and let the poor be inundated with flood waters, all to create more opportunities for disaster capitalism. They paired him up with one of their own, Mr. Cheney, and Bush played the roll of "humble, self-deprecating ordinary guy" to keep the evangelical delusion alive that there really is no problem that personal character cannot solve. The more soldiers die, the more grieving family members Mr. Bush gets to hug, preferably in front of cameras, or at least with news reporters present. He endears himself to the evangelicals every time he does this!

   Why should Huckabee be any different? The best thing we can hope for is that the plutocrats abandon the "pretend to be compassionate" strategy and support Giuliani, so that Huckabee voters stay home during the next election and enable a Democrat to win.

   Posted by JakobFabian at 11/03/2007 @ 10:06am

7. Thank you JAKOBFABIAN. Huckabee is Bush with a cock-eye.

   Posted by martincaver at 11/03/2007 @ 10:59am

8. The previous messages are exactly why America needs someone like Huckabee. I'm so tired of the anger and bitterness...we're ripping our country apart! Why is it so hard to accept that he might acctually be a real 'compassionate conservative'?

   Granted the gay rights and abortion issue will always be the great divide, but what is so wrong with acknowleging that a conservative candidate with real working class roots (not Bush's cushy silver spoon)and a sensitivity for the trials of the ordinary man..might actually be good for this country.

   Who else on the right will give you renewed interest in the environment, personalized healthcare and the fair tax which will finally give the middle class and the poor their long overdue relief?

   There is a groundswell of resistance happening in our conservative circles against the same elitist manipulations of our sensibilities that was mentioned in other posts. We're not easily taken in by fraudulent promises, which is why this race is so wide open.

   The best sign for those of you who are concerned, should be the venom being directed at Mike from the elite wall st. wing of the party. The puppeteers know they won't be able to run Mike's agenda if he stays true to form and selects a running mate who sees things the way he does.

   This is why Mike is the media darling of the leftisit media..and is being ripped apart on stations like FNC by clowns like O Riley

   Frankly...if I were a democrat or liberal..I'd be praying that Mike wins the nomination...that way, if the dems don't get it...at least the Republican getting in wouldn't be producing a complete repeat of the same.

   Unfortunantely for me...I don't have that option on your side...all of the policies of the democratic candidates scare the crap out of me....so Mike needs to win..Go Mike!

   Posted by rensen at 11/03/2007 @ 10:40pm

9. Posted by RIO BRAVO 11/04/2007 @ 12:03am

   Translation? Mr Moser complimented him, so RIO can't attack Huckabee (in case he gets the nom or a Veep spot)!

   heheh

   Posted by Mask at 11/04/2007 @ 06:32am

10. Does this article have a point? Is this article a facetious offshoot of the SNL chucklefest? America is so lost in the fecal products of its capitalistic nightmare, yet we're still trying to get someone who says clever things to float to the top of the scummy pond we have for political choices. Let's just let Arnold be president, as long as we want star power at the helm. Huckabee doesn't have a chance. I want a guy with an accent for president. I wanna see him give Angela Merkel a backrub. Let's live the nightmare! It's a kind of dream that we are closer to achieving than any other. Let's groove on it. And then sell it. The Great Bulls Eye Nation.

    Posted by ficheye at 11/05/2007 @ 02:42am