Are You the Very Model of a Modern Vice-President?

From Salon's War Room comes this quote of the day, from Iowa's Lt. Gov. Patty Judge, a Democrat:

"Sarah knows how to field-dress a moose. I know how to castrate a calf. Neither of those things has anything at all to do with this election. But since we know so much about Sarah's special skills, I wanted to make sure you knew about mine too."

What cool things can you do that have nothing to do with being Vice President or, Lord help us, President? It doesn't have to involve animal bloodshed. Can you write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform? I can't, but I can whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense, Pinafore. And leap tall buildings at a single bound. Plus, I've been to many foreign countries, to say nothing of New Jersey, which I can actually see from my house.

Maybe I should be Vice President!

Your turn.

Comments (47)

1. Pollitt asks: what cool thing can I do that has nothing to do with being vice president or president?!!!

   I have superior analytical thinking skills and excellent problem-solving skills. These kinds of skills seem to be irrelevant to people who think Palin ought to be a heartbeat away from being POTUS, right?

   So . . analytical thinking ability has nothing to do with being VP or Pres, right?

   Posted by Tree_Fitz at 09/15/2008 @ 11:27pm

2. Posted by SoHAPPY at 09/15/2008 @ 10:57pm

   You call it moose gonads. We call it racism. YMMV.

   I can hear the noise of current running through electrical sockets. It's about as relevant to a V.P. slot as moose dressing.

   Posted by srjenkins at 09/15/2008 @ 11:59pm

3. So . . analytical thinking ability has nothing to do with being VP or Pres, right?

   Posted by Tree_Fitz at 09/15/2008 @ 11:27pm

   Probably not. A president has plenty those sorts of back room people on tap.

   The only ability one needs in a P or VP is the ability to ask the relevant questions.

   It seems, if Woodward is to be trusted, that the supposedly moronic Bush was able, eventually, to discern that his generals had neither and using his own for the first time, plotted his successful surge strategy.

   Palin as a successful state governor seems to have both analytical thinking skills as well as something far more important viz the guts and determination to get tasks completed.

   We all know about the high IQers who end up on the dole because they haven't got the drive to succeed at anything.

   Palin has that necessary drive in spadeloads.

   Posted by lrjones4 at 09/16/2008 @ 12:14am

4. Then we're about even. All that's been said of Gov. Palin by your side, is called Sexism....but I'd be gracious to state, she has got some magic of her own....but now, we can't have two Magics, can we? My Magic is infinitely prettier and now, I'm sure her Magic is superior to that of your Lesser -of-Evil Magic! Posted by SoHAPPY at 09/16/2008 @ 12:18am

   Hell. Half of the stuff said about her on YOUR side would be considered sexist if that is the game we are playing.

   Posted by Cccomfo1 at 09/16/2008 @ 12:32am

5. McC's choice has NOTHING to do with policy or programs & everything to do with "energizing the base," i.e. giving the bigoted bible-belting rightwing mobs enough stimulus so they don't walk away from the GOP entirely & can be tapped again for resources in '12. The herd was right on the brink of drifting off, now Palin's job is to make the ignorant feel wanted.

   That's it.

   So let's ignore Palin henceforth & concentrate on GOP disasters, mounting by the day, if not the hour, and the McCain the Same promise of 4 more years .

   Posted by sloper at 09/16/2008 @ 03:15am

6. Jokes about moose and other animal antics aside this country may very well find itself with an administration in which the president was hostile to the works of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, and the vice president owned a company whose name is (high school ) French for redneck. They both come from small towns where they experienced very little diversity, and by their own admission know precious little about the world beyond their limited borders. This country of 300,000,000 deserve more competence than what they promise.

   Posted by WeldonRobeson at 09/16/2008 @ 05:31am

7. Well, one good political skill Palin has is....

   she knows how to stall an investigation!

   Always handy!

   Posted by Maskdelta at 09/16/2008 @ 07:23am

8. The trolls have been happy to display their qualification for Vice President: the ability to change the subject in response to any argument!

   John McCain has this skill, too. This is why he responds to difficult questions by referring to his POW experience, rather than with answers to the questions.

   "I have superior analytical thinking skills and excellent problem-solving skills," said "Tree-Fitz," who then demonstrated these skills by immediately adding that they by no means qualify him for Vice President, at least not for the Republican ticket.

   Yes, and the reason is: Critical thinking is not a "cool thing" these days. The "cool thing" is to react with your gut and to spout off the first thing that comes to your mind. Pause to think, and Pat Buchanan will interrupt you.

   I should follow the example of Katha Pollitt and learn by heart Monty Python's great comedy sketch about the guy who went looking to buy an argument. Reading these threads always reminds me of that sketch.

   "No, it doesn't." "Yes, it does." "No, it doesn't." "Yes, it does..."

   Posted by JakobFabian at 09/16/2008 @ 07:30am

9. HEck, I would be thrilled if the cons could tell me what Paiins views are on anything relevant.

   But they cannot, because they don't know.

   As Frei said yesterday, it's about CULTURE.

   Didn't ya'll know that it's the VP's job to be minister of culture?

   ----

   BTW, I can put a 1" hole in a 1" dia steel bar. Can Jefferson Davis Palin do that?

   huh!

   huh!

   yea, that's right, she can't.

   but she looks and talks pretty, she is a celebrity and she loves the correct God du-jour, so she gets the adoration of the sheep. No asking questions. No, that would be sexist

   Do you cons realize that in her singular interview, the so-called "liberal media" (Gibson) interviewed her more than McCain did? Heckuva job Johnny!

   Posted by crabwalk at 09/16/2008 @ 07:43am

10. JACK-O wins todays round of

    Palin or Python!

    Good job Jack-O.

    NExt up, America comes in for some abuse, you coffee nosed malodorous perverts.

    Posted by crabwalk at 09/16/2008 @ 07:48am

11. Do the cons remember when George Bush used to talk about Faith based community groups that he wanted to support? He even opened an office in the WH.

    Now that stuff is bad!

    Flip

    Remember when you guys used to think military service was a good thing, then along comes Kerry, decorated by The Navy?

    Flop.

    Remember when McCain was "too liberal"?

    Flip

    Remember Family Values?

    Flop.

    Remember when flip flopping was bad?

    Posted by crabwalk at 09/16/2008 @ 07:55am

12. I trained my dog to bring me my television remote control. Plus, I was once acting attorney general to the Federated States of Micronesia. I think that qualifies me to be Vice President.

    Posted by jkfreis at 09/16/2008 @ 1:49pm

13. I don't know about dressing a moose or castrating a calf, but here are 25 reasons to be concerned about Sarah Palin as a Vice President of the United States:

    1. Palin anti-abortion position is too extreme for America in that she opposes abortion even in cases of rape and incest and would FORCE this view on the rest of America.

    2. Palin and her husband flirts with succession from the United States as "affiliates" of AIP party.

    3. Palin attempts to ban library books she doesn't like and fire the city librarian if she doesn't go along.

    4. Palin fires police chief of Wasilla because he wants the bars to close at 2am rather than 5am and this upset Palin's bar owner campaign contributors.

    5. Palin fires her chief public safety officer, the former police chief of Anchorage, because he doesn't want to be used in her family feud in firing the ex-husband of her sister.

    6. Palin's car wash was "involuntarily" shut down after she skipped out of paying her taxes and fees, and failed to file required financial statements.

    7. Palin's pastor of 30 years thinks political opponents of Bush won't go to heaven and that Jesus is some kind of war general that kills people that don't believe in him.

    8. Palin stripped funds from Passage House, a group that helps teen moms, LIKE HER DAUGHTER, get skills and lead productive lives after pregnancy.

    9. Palin hired an Abramoff lobbyist to get earmarks that even McCain objected to

    10. Palin SUPPORTED Bridge-to-Nowhere, and only opposed it after public exposure.

    11. Palin inflates her foreign policy experience by claiming a refueling stop as a "visit to Ireland".

    12. Palin does NOT believe that pollution and carbon emissions contribute to global warming and climate change.

    (cont. below)

    Posted by Metteyya at 09/16/2008 @ 2:05pm

14. 13, Palin fought AGAINST the Bush Administration's effort to declare the polar bear an endangered species.

    14. Palin wants to srill for oil in the environmentally sensitive Artic Wildlife Refuge on behalf of Big Oil.

    15. Palin's first state-wide campaign was funded by Veco, and oil and gas concern.

    16. Palin's inaugural as governor was funded by British Petroleum (BP) that wants to drill in Arctic Wildlife Refuge.

    17. Palin believes "creationism" should be taught in public schools

    18. Palin would only support funding for abstinence-until-marriage sex education in public schools.

    19. Palin served as director of indicted senator Ted Stevens "Excellence in Public Service" 527.

    20. Palin used the Wasilla Mayor's Office for campaign purposes, violating state election laws

    21. Palin refused to release emails that show she urged her public safety commissioner to fire the ex-husband of her sister, citing EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE (sound familiar?)

    22. Palin believed the Founding Fathers wrote the Pledge of Allegiance in her defense of the "under God" reference, even though it wasn't written until 1892 and the "under God" reference was not inserted until 1954.

    23. Palin fought hate crimes legislation based on her belief that "all crimes involve hate".

    24. Palin failed to support universal healthcare for all Alaskans.

    25. Palin left Wasilla 20 million dollars in debt.

    Posted by Metteyya at 09/16/2008 @ 2:08pm

15. We love you, Katha! We linked you in our post on women who oppose Palin: http://www.canow.org/canoworg/2008/09/we-arent-the-on.html

    Posted by canow at 09/16/2008 @ 2:40pm

16. Back in high school, used to have a teacher & coach who put all the good looking girls up in front of the class so he could flirt & tease them as he read from the text (world history) . Some of us doubted his intellectual foundations, but we got a lot of laughs from his hijinx. What a role model. This is the same coach who chased his PE kids around a big field behind the high school in an old red maintenance truck. He'd roar up behind the slow fat guys & the slackers, reving his engine & shouting mild oaths to keep 'em moving. He had status among both faculty & students because he was a kick ass kind of guy & was viewed as "practical". His ultimate put down was to declare to an aspiring athlete, "You'd better stick to the books." He never found out that I couldn't dribble because I always launched a pretty good jump shot from wherever I was on the court. This in a day when Wilt was dropping the ball in the basket like he was handling an Easter egg. (Never mind that Wilt could probably dunk with a running start from the top of the key) By the way, I spent a lot of time on the bench that soph year, my first & last as an athlete. Rather VPish, I think. The gist of this? As others have pointed out, the electorate is still in high school.

    Posted by Sorelish at 09/16/2008 @ 3:11pm

17. nice to see such devotion to the subject.

    I'm a retired electrician, so my special skill is making light where there was only darkness.

    Posted by jzamrzla at 09/16/2008 @ 7:36pm

18. Funny but I was thinking the same thing - that given Palin's background why couldn't I be Vice President:

    1. I can render lard. 2. I have shot and dressed a deer - there were not many moose in Iowa or Minnesota. 3. I can dress a chicken - guess this doesn't get the same buzz going as moose. My mother could dress 4 chickens while my brother and I napped as children. That would take practice. 4. I can bulldoze people with my smile even if I don't have a clue as to what they're talking about. 5. I have been a resident of 5 states as an adult. All of them more populated than Alaska. 6. I have never been a community organizer. And, now considering what grief that can give you on a presidential ticket probably never will.

    Why I can't run for Vice President as well as Sarah Palin:

    1. I'm not good at stepping on people to gain my own political clout while ignoring real problematic issues. 2. I don't have any infant or child convenient political accroutrements. When I did have a child I didn't have the CHOICE of parenting only when I WANTED to - which is easier than HAVE to. 3.I believe in life at conception as a Catholic and someone who's had 3 misscarrigages. But I don't force my believe onto a nation. 4. I have three college degrees. This way over-qualifies me, I know. 5. I am not a Republican prop.

    Posted by GymRatt at 09/16/2008 @ 7:39pm

19. What are the odds that the Commander in Chief of the Alaska National Guard, who has looked across the water at Russia and across a guardrail at Iraq, would recognize the allusion?

    Posted by Scarabus at 09/16/2008 @ 8:00pm

20. I can train a cat to say "bow wow". Can I be Veep?

    Posted by jhoffman at 09/16/2008 @ 9:40pm

21. I can hand pollinate corn and my boyfriend can build a 25ft spotting tower out of logs and rope. We'd like to split the job.

    Posted by lshannon at 09/16/2008 @ 10:09pm

22. Pollitt asks: what cool thing can I do that has nothing to do with being vice president or president?!!!

    I can organize a community. Cool.

    By the way Katha. Your column about Sarah Palin being a Lifetime movie story is wrong.

    Lifetime is the I hate men channel. Most of the plot lines are the woman scorned, the woman who cut off her boyfriends testicles, the woman who became a lesbian, or the woman who became a lesbian and had a baby through a gay mans sperm donation.

    You might use Sarah Palin as a TV Land Story or Hallmark Channel story where Life is great and the peach cobbler is the best.

    Posted by apoorspic at 09/16/2008 @ 11:11pm

23. I can train a cat to say "bow wow". Can I be Veep? LOL I've eaten cow testicles, does that mean I'm a closet Republican?

    Posted by superdave at 09/16/2008 @ 11:30pm

24. Some of these seem too wordy given the parameters...

    Really. I can wiggle my nose like a bunny - technically, you might say it pulsates.

    :-)

    Posted by InspiredPedestrian at 09/17/2008 @ 12:10am

25. Well, if we use Cheney as the prototype or model of what a vp should be it could be interesting. 1) Does the person do everything in secrecy and behind peoples' backs...in Cheney's case the answer is yes. 2) Does the person misinform the public to push a preconceived agenda? In Cheney's case the answer is yes. 3) Does the person try to cripple another branch of the government while trying to empower themselves to gain more control while in their official position? Yes again for Cheney 4) Does the candidate have a conflict of interest that might cause him/her not to fullfill the duty of their office in the best interests of the American people and or it's constitution? Once again, the answer is yes for Cheney.

    Basically, we could go get any murderer, serial killer, or psychopath out of any institution and we wouldn't do any worse than having the likes of Cheney in the position, though Palin would have to answer yes to some of these questions given her very limited time in office as governor and mayor.

    Posted by Wolfgang1 at 09/17/2008 @ 12:11pm

26. Hey, I'm more qualified to be vice president than Palin. I grew up in Montana and just north of us are the dastardly Canadians. Living next to that northern enemy requires a will of steel.

    I've lived in San Diego and Atlanta and dealt with the aliens pouring across the border in droves. I can speak with a phony drawl so I can really sound republican like if I want to.

    I did time at Keesler AFB on the gulf coast in Biloxi MS so I braved out possible hurricanes not to mention that I've risked my life, along with those of my wife and children, by going to Disneyworld in Orlando to keep our economy strong.

    I have caught my own fish, gutted them, cooked them and eaten them and I even baited my own hook with a worm and corn.

    My brother and I made a snowman that was 15 feet tall in honor of Christmas. Has Palin accomplished that?!

    Posted by Wolfgang1 at 09/17/2008 @ 12:21pm

27. Posted by InspiredPedestrian at 09/17/2008 @ 12:10am

    I was going to make a funny about the word "pulsates"(because I'm naughty. That's why.)but I didn't know if you were male or female.

    If I could vote for VP, I'd vote for lshannon. Two heads are better than one.

    Posted by k330k at 09/17/2008 @ 2:53pm

28. Although I am impressed by jhoffman's teaching skills.

    Posted by k330k at 09/17/2008 @ 2:55pm

29. I can name the capital of all 50 states - go ahead, just ask me! Nevada - no problem, Carson City. Illinois - hah! Springfield. Vermont - oohh that's a toughie...maybe Montpelier? You say that's not good enough to be Veep? Well, the good folks of Frankfurt (cap. of Kentucky) might disagree!

    Posted by bgygi at 09/17/2008 @ 5:20pm

30. I can make up puns, which I bet is beyond your futuer Vrau Fuhrer.

    Sara is Palin the Ass

    Posted by mikecope at 09/18/2008 @ 11:41am

31. Actually you are probably qualified to be president because Sarah is definitely more qualified that Obama. Also, it seems the Obama campaign is quilty of felony hacking...interesting.

    Posted by pyeatte at 09/18/2008 @ 1:58pm

32. I thought of another reason I could be vice president: I can see the space shuttle launch from my backyard. Albeit, it is some 50 miles away and I have to look between the two chimneys of the houses across the street. But I can see the trail of fire and white smoke. When I watch I remember to say "God-speed."

    Using Sarah-logic this means I would be a good person to work on NASA projects such as going to Mars. Perhaps I could also meet with any aliens should we discover life on other planets. Maybe they'd have oil or another fuel source. Also, I could say a prayer or two at any service should their be (when there is?) another NASA disaster.

    Posted by GymRatt at 09/18/2008 @ 4:02pm

33. Obama is qualified because of his oratory skills...

    That means there's a "president" in every Black church in the south...

    Can I get a witness?!!

    (hoop)

    I say can I get a witness?!!

    (hoop)

    Praise Jeezzus, can I get a witness?!!

    (hoop)

    Brothers and sisters....can I get a witness?!!

    (hoop)

    AAAAAAMEN

    (hoop)

    Take me home on that Hammond organ sista..

    Posted by bleedingheart at 09/18/2008 @ 5:17pm

34. I was once the head of the entire budget office of a major Department of Defense agency. Of course, it was Christmas Eve, about 2 PM... So do I get to be Secretary of Defense??

    Posted by barnesgene at 09/18/2008 @ 6:08pm

35. Posted by bleedingheart at 09/18/2008 @ 5:17pm

    Wow. What black church do you belong to? You seem to be quite knowledgeable about black churches. Of course the church I go to, that is a majority black church, is catholic and we don't say "can I get a witness". But what do I know. I'm acutally black and attend church.

    Posted by k330k at 09/19/2008 @ 08:26am

36. k33ok,

    I live in a town that has the highest percentage Black population of any town in the US with a population above 100,000. We're in the almanac, number one. And although I'm atheist, I enjoy watching C.L Franklin and Jasper Williams Jr on you tube. Which, by the way, is why I don't get the "Obama is a great speaker" bit. There are pastors in this town that make him sound like a buffoon.

    NADER/GONZALEZ '08

    Posted by bleedingheart at 09/19/2008 @ 08:56am

37. I've been to Europe once and flew over several countries. [Foreign policy experience]

    Surprised a burglar on my back porch AND used to be a prison guard [security experience]

    Got kids that have lived till adulthood [family values]

    Worked oil exploration, sold & installed solar water heaters and worked for a while as an electrician's helper at an electrical co-generation plant. [energy experience]

    I also know how to strip down and clean the ion source of a HP 5890 mass spectrometer....I've delivered a baby, I make a mean lasagna an can rebuild computers (take that McCain). I've also got really nice tomatoes in my garden this year.

    Damn .. I'm ready for VP!

    I think I'm ready

    Posted by leftofcenter at 09/19/2008 @ 09:25am

38. But what do I know. I'm acutally black and attend church.

    Posted by k330k at 09/19/2008 @ 08:26am

    Evidently what you say doesn't count at all. What seems to matter is white peoples' fear of what they think goes on in black churches.

    Being a white boy, I'm afraid of what gones on in white southern baptist churches, and many of these evangelical churches to boot. What are they saying....let's kill the muslims, catholics who are pro-choice, any one who doesn't believe in our chosen wars...Amen, praise be to Jaazus. Son, your gonna go to hell and burn for eternity if you don't accept the lord Jesus Christ as your savior....and join the republican party!!

    Posted by Wolfgang1 at 09/19/2008 @ 11:01am

39. Posted by bleedingheart at 09/19/2008 @ 08:56am

    So you watch the church services of C.L Franklin and Jasper Williams Jr. on youtube( two of thousands of black preachers across the south). So do they say "can I get a witness"? I'm just wondering since you've characterized southern black churches/preachers as such. I'm just trying to see where you get your stereotype from.

    Posted by k330k at 09/19/2008 @ 11:27am

40. Hello Sorelish,

    You said " Back in high school, used to have a teacher & coach who put all the good looking girls up in front of the class so he could flirt & tease them as he read from the text (world history) . "

    One surely does learn something new every day. Up till now, I never knew Bill Clinton taught in high school.

    Posted by sjchermak at 09/19/2008 @ 11:46am

41. Posted by Wolfgang1 at 09/19/2008 @ 11:01am

    Evidently, wolfgang. The fact that people want to paint all black preachers with the same brush they used with Reverend Wright is totally ignorant. This is especially true if you've never taken the time to attend a church service in a black church. I'm sure the people, who are scared to death of religious black folks, would be shamefully surprised. It's not as bad as the fearmongers want you to believe.

    Posted by k330k at 09/19/2008 @ 11:54am

42. k33ok,

    If you lived in Little Italy all of your life, you would know SOMETHING about the culture of Italian-Americans. I live in a part of the south with the HIGHEST percentage of African-Americans per 100,000. So.....

    I wouldn't doubt that I see, talk to, and associate with more African-Americans on a daily basis than most posters and (certainly) writers on this site.

    There are so many Black churches in this town that the names now begin with "second". Like Mt.Zion and Second Mt.Zion, Mt.Olive and Second Mt.Olive.

    I do business with the Pastors, Deacons, Sons of the House, Choir Members, Nurse's Aides, and on and on.

    I am NOT an expert on African-American churches by any means. But what I do know about such churches is NOT stereotypically derived. It's from day to day living.

    Posted by bleedingheart at 09/19/2008 @ 12:09pm

43. Posted by bleedingheart at 09/19/2008 @ 12:09pm

    I never said you were an expert. Believe me that is obvious. Besides, you still didn't answer my question. That's okay. I'll repeat it. While watching C.L. Franklin and Jasper Williams Jr. on youtube, do they say "can I get a witness" over and over as you claimed in your post? I also wonder if the deacons, pastors, and choir members that you do business with know how you regard the way they worship or how you assume they worship.

    All I'm saying is it's ignorant to make fun of that which you don't understand. For a lot of black folks, and folks in general, the church and their faith was/is the only thing getting them through trying times(like nowadays). It is no joke and it's(it is and it was) insulting to read. I'm not mad or anything(more like perturbed). I just don't want you to think that it's okay.

    Posted by k330k at 09/19/2008 @ 1:54pm

44. I live in a part of the south with the HIGHEST percentage of African-Americans per 100,000. So..... ...I see, talk to, and associate with more African-Americans on a daily basis than... Posted by bleedingheart at 09/19/2008 @ 12:09pm

    ... All I'm saying is it's ignorant to make fun .... ... the church and their faith was/is the only thing getting them through trying times(like nowadays). It is no joke and it's... ... insulting to read. I'm not mad or anything(more like perturbed). I just don't want you to think that it's okay. Posted by k330k at 09/19/2008 @ 1:54pm

    OMG, this back and forth is nonsense... k33ok, build a bridge! What bleedingheart posted may or may not have been accurate of some sect of christians. It was mildly amusing. Let us not police each other. The whole P.C. thing is way out of hand, and resembles the right's attempt to tell others how to live. Your diatribe was (and is) annoying to read. And, bleedingheart, your knowlage of the black community sounds very much akin to "some of my best friends are..." Both of you might want to take Senator Stevens' "Bridge to Nowhere" *GET OVER IT. Have a nice day. :/

    *Pls mix in some David Burne

    Posted by Tht1Gy! at 09/19/2008 @ 4:03pm

45. You're right, I know jack about the Black culture.

    How would I, I've only worked for a Black female owned mom and pop business for 17 years. What would I know?

    But this is a fact:

    I just sent NADER more money!!

    NADER/GONZALEZ '08

    GO RALPH GO!!

    Posted by bleedingheart at 09/19/2008 @ 8:52pm

46. Bruiser's Performance

    Vice Precedent Richard Bruiser a celebrated pianist the Jasper kid who flopped his doctorate zipped up the Yamaha grand reving it full bore. He rocked the grapes off the crossbeam then fell heavily from his high perch puncturing his beloved biohazard suit. With blood dripping on the floor & a paranoid growl he said, ‘go fark yourself!' hurling the score of the grosse fugue by Ludwig Van Beethoven the immortal at an unsuspecting quartet of foreign dignitaries. With flare Bruiser burst up to the footlights where he took out his running mate with a personalized version of the celebrated water boarding technique. High heels conservative ties academic gowns & bonnets stampeded immediately. Fire dancers ripped down the aisles & up the drapes as that fat old boy turned the burning deck & set into a spectacular spontaneous pyrotechnic event. Vice directum dickhead leapt astride Harry's casket that accidental hero once sadly impregnated with friendly fire on an ill fated Texas hunting trip. Teeth gleaming phoenix eyes squinting Bruiser immediately became an immortal & just as impotent as the pope in his pointy red shoes. He hummed the famous hymn ‘Onward Christian Soldiers' as he smiled his triumphant frostyboy smile whispering hoarsely as he expired into the ears of jackal axle herself, ‘so this is how it's done.'

    Posted by crowsfly at 09/21/2008 @ 06:07am

47. Dang, I had no idea I was so qualified to be VP! I've got all of the right experiences plus some to spare! 1) I spent a summer in Alaska on a cannery slime-line cleaning salmon. (check!) 2) I was a Special Education Teacher and have encountered LOTS of kids with Down Syndrome (and their parents). (check!) 3) I recruited and trained Girl Scout volunteers (kind of like being a community organizer). (check!) 4) I was elected (like a governor) and crowned Queen of our local cult... 'er, I mean masonic youth organization. (check!) 5) I was the announcer for our high school girl's basketball team. (sports announcer AND high school basketball... check!, check!). 6) I can look out my window in Oregon state and see across the river to Washington state which is next to Canada. (check!) 7) I've been to Canada and Mexico. (check!) *Bonus points for walking across hot coals and broken glass* ... When do I move to DC?

    Posted by Window at 09/21/2008 @ 11:43pm