Not Quite Knocked Out by Knocked Up

Last night I finally saw Knocked Up, Judd Apatow's hilarious new movie, a raunchfest with a family-values core --- carrying on with accidental pregnancies, marriage as responsible adulthood, staying together for the sake of the kids. I'm not going to get into that here, except to second Dana Stevens' great piece in Slate on Hollywood and TV's cowardice about abortion (referred to in Knocked Up by the hero's slacker roommate as "rhymes with shmashmortion" and, by the heroine's ice-cold mother, as "taking care of it").

As she points out, legions of single women in their twenties who get pregnant accidentally like Alison (Katherine Heigl) or Jenna (Keri Russell) in Waitress, have abortions; on the big or small screen, they have miscarriages or babies. In the movies, I might add, accidental babies solve the very issues (men, work, money, dreams) that, in real life, they often worsen. Jenna gives birth, dumps her abusive ox of a husband, wins the baking contest he'd barred her from entering and opens her own pie diner. Alison falls in love with Ben (Seth Rogen), her one-night drunken stand, and, after spending the whole movie hiding her pregnancy to keep her celebrity-reporting job at E!, gets outed -- and promoted. Pregnancy polls really well-- who knew?

Actually, though, the real subject of Knocked Up is the immaturity of men: only under the most desperate circumstances will they put aside their bongs, or their porn, or their even more idiotic friends. If a woman had made this movie she'd be labelled a total man-hater: there isn't one man in it who isn't basically a teenager. But a woman never would have made this movie, because women don't have the fantasy in which willowy creamy world-class beauties like Alison, with brains, great clothes, and tons of self-confidence in bed and out of it, go for men like Ben (Seth Rogen), who is not only an unemployed and underbathed stoner with no ambitions and no visible means of support, but physically unattractive to an alarming degree. A real-life Alison wouldn't have spent one night in his filthy teenage-boy lair of a bedroom, or hung out for one evening with his uber-slacker friends . I'll give you that she might have called him when she discovered she was pregnant-- but offer to entwine herself in coparenting for life with a one-night stand she couldn't even get through breakfast with the next morning? Invite this virtual stranger to all her prenatal checkups? I didn't even invite my husband!

No, this is a male rescue fantasy, like Sideways, in which Paul Giamatti, an bitter, mean, alcoholic, very unattractive failed writer is saved by Virginia Madsen, a gorgeous kindhearted waitress. And like The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Apatow's previous movie, in which Steve Carell, the nerdy obsessive-compulsive loner, is saved by the delightfully easy-going hottie Catherine Keener. The family-values morality of Knocked Up is just window dressing, in my view. It isn't marriage, per se, that makes Ben grow up and get real -- it's Allison, who besides being lovely, is warm, good-hearted, down-to-earth, mature, doesn't ask for marriage or money, and -- this is important -- laughs at his jokes, which are indeed funny.

I'm trying to think of a romantic comedy where these roles are reversed. A clever, screwed up, ugly woman gets the gorgeous hunk who sees her inner beauty. My Big Fat Greek Wedding is the closest I can think of (made by a woman, naturally), but Nia Vardalos's character is actually great looking once she gets out from under her father's thumb--her mousiness in the early scenes is just a reflection of her downtroddenness. By the end of the movie she looks like, well, a movie star. A Greek movie star. Mostly in films the supposedly ugly-duckling heroine is actually pretty and in great shape, she just needs a makeover and a social life, like Cinderella.

The guys, though, remain their unprepossessing selves. Instead, they grow up just enough to make it to the altar with a hot babe. After that? It's clear that their wives will be the sergeants in the boot camp of married life. They'll be versions of Allison's married sister, who spends her life mourning her declining hotness and reminding her husband of errands and chores he denies having promised to do. This man is so childish that he sneaks out of the house on pretext of work not to have an affair, as his wife fears -- but to play fantasy baseball with the guys.

That's marriage in today's family-values Hollywood-- dysfunctional schlub meets hottie with a heart of gold. Boy meets Mom.

Comments (33)

1. Kinda weak, plus not very likely to change, Ms Pollitt.

   Sex comedies are typically male-oriented, even the sitcoms on TV. From "King of Queens" to "According to Jim", big slubby guys have hot babe wives...wives who love the guys despite their looks AND their "sitcom dad" idiocy.

   But it's not likely to change...."Life of Riley" goes back to the 50s.

   And I'll give you another COUNTER example..."Shallow Hal" with Jack Black.

   Posted by Mask at 06/27/2007 @ 8:28pm

2. Little wonder Hollywood is in a funk, spinning out sequals after sequals....Not until this article got to "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (which I did see) did I come across a name or movie that I have even heard of!

   ...Allison, who besides being lovely, is warm, good-hearted, down-to-earth, mature, doesn't ask for marriage or money...

   My conclusion: Allison didn't have that `thing' that "rhymes with shmashmortion"! Perfect 10s' just don't, right, Mom?

   Posted by Happy at 06/27/2007 @ 8:30pm

3. I think Mom's clock likes me better.....hehehheh!

   Posted by Happy at 06/27/2007 @ 8:31pm

4. We women can't lay all the blame at their (men) feet. We're the ones raising these "good for nothing" men.

   My mother has always told me, a woman can teach her sons, but it takes a father to make them men. I know some of you will disagree with my statement, but I can assure you what a son sees or doesn't see will affect his outlook on life. Being a "good" single mother is not enough, especially for a male child.

   Posted by ACook at 06/27/2007 @ 9:56pm

5. Actualy,

   The father was Canadian and was probably an illegal and should have been deported. I don't know many beautiful women, with a job that will approach 7 figures even give a second look at a dope smoking moron with no hope or drive...but hey!!he would have free health care if he took her home, right?

   In really life that woman would have had a "miscarraige" asap., and the rubard would never have know he even has sex with her.

   Posted by john maasch at 06/27/2007 @ 10:20pm

6. I liked Wedding Crashers....

   Posted by john maasch at 06/27/2007 @ 10:20pm

7. well, katha...

   its not a movie i would have seen, since i suspected what you said already.

   ah, the house husband...NOT the dream of feminism...

   Posted by ibbleblibble at 06/28/2007 @ 12:59am

8. Is there anything bitchier than a feminist with her nose tweaked over the lack of feminist conformity by the real world or Hollywood?

   Which makes this even funnier since Hollywood is the primary funding source for the far left.

   Posted by antiliberal at 06/28/2007 @ 02:23am

9. Folks, it is a movie.

   There is no back story about societal norms or right or wrong. It is a movie that someone thought could make some money. I am sure the writer has been writing in the same style for the better part of his career. Someone made some money on it, and now we will see a bunch of similar movies.

   It's not rocket science, it's not sociology, it is money.

   Posted by jimjloehr at 06/28/2007 @ 09:19am

10. Male rescue fantasy indeed. Perfect description. I liked Sideways a lot, but was really turned off by the groveling Giamatti thinking that his life was nothing without the approval of Virginia Madsen. Nor should slobs be permitted to bed beautiful, cultivated women, although Virginia Madsen is not "gorgeous." Pretty at best. I would also question the use of the term "mature." Our culture seems to promote the idea that women are mature adults and men are overgrown children. But why is playing fantasy sports immature? What the hell does it matter what you do with your time? Is maturity ceasing to enjoy games and devoting oneself to more serious subjects like status seeking, career-building and needlessly overpopulating the planet?

    Posted by jalanhi at 06/28/2007 @ 09:43am

11. Nor should slobs be permitted to bed beautiful, cultivated women, although Virginia Madsen is not "gorgeous." Pretty at best.---Posted by JALANHI 06/28/2007 @ 09:43am

    Uh, wrong. Jeez Louise, she's incredibly good-looking! "I'll take my oath on it"---Kurt Russell in "Tombstone"

    Posted by Mask at 06/28/2007 @ 09:59am

12. "Posted by JOHN MAASCH 06/27/2007 @ 10:20pm

    That explains, so, so, SO much johnny.

    Posted by MADLIB 06/27/2007 @ 11:36pm

    I just knew you would understand.

    Posted by john maasch at 06/28/2007 @ 10:01am

13. Thank you for putting your finger on this...and zero gets it completly wrong. This movie is NOT about the successful female (whom zero seems, oddly, to resent for her success) but about the lovable schlubs and their lovable schlubness, and isn't it cute when they have to face a tiny portion of harsh reality? It's mostly from the male point of view. Which is another odd thing about a movie called "Knocked Up"...

    Never really been an Apatow fan, though I can see why he speaks to the kinds of guys he's writing about. But for most women, the choices around childbirth are extremely non-trivial...yet the movies and TV consistently portray them as a series of jokes and goofy vignettes. My guess is that, being something women do, pregnancy continues to be considered a joke topic. Unless she wants to have an abortion...or she dies from having a child as in Steel Magnolias..

    Posted by emjaybee at 06/28/2007 @ 12:32pm

14. Thanks for this, Katha...something about this movie has been triggering my yuk-o-meter, and you and the Slate essay (which I read yesterday) just confirmed what I have been suspecting. I'll continue to miss this one, thanks!

    And I HATED Sideways, hated the self-pitying jerk at its center. As loathesome as his womanising pal was, he at least had vitality and some joy in living. In real life, the attractive, happy, thoughtful woman portrayed by Madsen would have run a mile from the schlub.

    Zero, you seem to be missing the point that this genre of film (and tv shows like King of Queens), still put the underachieving men at the center. Somehow these sub-zero-intelligence, beer-gutted, under-employed, overgrown frat boys are made out to DESERVE the brilliant, rich hottie, for no good reason anyone can see.

    Posted by jpeter at 06/28/2007 @ 1:06pm

15. Hey, Rio Bravo, it's called Spell Check. Actually our culture of juvenile male entitlement is the very embodiment of conservatism (see Bush, George W.; see also Cheney, Dick). Hey, Antiliberal--are you referring to the Hollywood of Reagan, Heston, Gopher, Sonny Bono, Schwarzenegger (spell check?), and Fred Thompson? Don't get your panties in a bunch, my partisan friend. American men will continue to be the most coddled adolescents on the planet (outside the Middle East) and women will continue to cope by submerging themselves in empty materialism and self-mutilation. It's Morning in America!

    Posted by John Sullivan at 06/28/2007 @ 1:14pm

16. "ZERO gets it completely wrong"...nothing unusual there.

    The guy gave a pass to the guys who beheaded and dismembered David Pearl.

    Posted by Mask at 06/28/2007 @ 1:30pm

17. Posted by Mask at 06/28/2007 @ 1:30pm

18. Sorry, of course ....DANIEL Pearl.

    my bad

    Posted by Mask at 06/28/2007 @ 1:30pm

19. I enjoyed the movie (are we still talking about Knocked Up?), but there were definitely some parts that did not 'ring true' to me; for example, i thought it ridiculous that when the four are at dinner and the two men (Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd) are bonding over how they both saw their lives start to narrow as babies and marriage came into view, the two women (Katharine Heigl and Leslie Mann) completely dismiss the idea of ever feeling 'scared' or 'unknowing' about life's changes. That's ridiculous...that the pregnant woman would have NO doubts or fears or stress about the situation?? Also...the funniest woman in that movie was Kristen Wiig - Heigel or Mann either aren't that funny or they ARE and weren't written funny parts. It's sad that the film tries to show 'real' guys...ones that smoke pot, wear gross clothes, sloth around the house, are hilariously funny...without showing 'real' women of the same caliber. Instead, these women are made up, hair done, and in Leslie Mann's character's case - 'bitchy' and insane. That isn't even that funny. I'd argue that so many of these 'frat pack' and related movies don't show any actually funny women. Sad. Cause there are sooo many. We're just all given the parts of 'romantic interest' or 'bitch' - all usually 'unfunny'.

    Posted by tangledblue at 06/28/2007 @ 1:50pm

20. first, i heart the 'ignore this person' feature. it takes care of a lot of trollery.

    second, what was really striking were the excruciating married moments between paul rudd's character and leslie mann's; you see the distance, the resignation, the resentment, but also the need to be closer while not knowing how to get there. it was a portrait of modern marriage as a tension high-wire act. this, to me, was the real takeaway of the movie - that, despite all good intentions, the difference between what men and women want inevitably divides us.

    Posted by ding at 06/28/2007 @ 3:11pm

21. Hi Katha,

    I'm a huge fan of your work and I'm thrilled to see you've started a blog. As for this post, your point about schlubs getting rescued is interesting, and some of the stuff it brought out in the comments about the lack of competent, mature, kind men in films is interesting, too. I can only think of foreign films to come up with any images at all of guys like that.

    Maybe John Cusack roles sometimes get close? Must Love Dogs was saccharine crap, but at least he was a decent guy.

    Some of the comments here are stupid and pathetic, of course. I'm sure you're used to dismissing that kind of thing, but even so I hope more people will weigh in to support you and to get some lively discussion going.

    Posted by antelope at 06/28/2007 @ 3:19pm

22. Well, fine.

    But on the same point don't most real life relationships have an element of "Boy meets Mom" ? And how about the numerous "Girl Meets Dad" movies out there?

    Posted by mntalkase at 06/28/2007 @ 3:38pm

23. Well, I'm all grown up now, a real corporate drone with a suitable job/income that makes me official marriage material.

    What exactly was supposed to be so great about this? Other than being a woman's version of what a "mature man" is supposed to be, I'm not so crazy about it.

    Feminism was supposed to be about giving women choices, and not criticizing whatever she decides to do with her life. But men? Would it be ok NOT to fit into a women's idea of what "grown up" is? Apparently not.

    Posted by jasonk at 06/28/2007 @ 4:12pm

24. "it was a portrait of modern marriage as a tension high-wire act. this, to me, was the real takeaway of the movie - that, despite all good intentions, the difference between what men and women want inevitably divides us."

    Well, that's a pretty sad assessment. And not my experience at all. Maybe that's another reason films like this bug me so much--the assumption that men and women are alien species (the Mars/Venus thing) who can only coexist in tension and resentment.

    Posted by jpeter at 06/28/2007 @ 5:28pm

25. Gack! Interested in reading about a movie I've had recommended to me but remain indifferent to, I've had a movie I've been burning to see ruined for me. Waitress is a little new to just go blabbing the ending. I'm going to pout into Kitchen Confidential for the rest of the night.

    ...a night which has been ruined.

    Posted by Cola82 at 06/29/2007 @ 02:02am

26. Here's a couple hints for y'all...

    1. Movies, for the most part, are not about society as it is, but how we (particularly men) want it to be.

    2. All types of men can be cast in lead roles, but Hollywood permits only one type of lead actress. This significantly limits the extent of how much movies can reflect real life.

    Posted by elach at 06/29/2007 @ 11:20am

27. Elach, you are exactly right. The biggest upside of teen dramas like "The O.C." and "Hidden Palms" was that they cast the male parts just as unrealistically as the female roles. I don't mind visiting an alien world where everybody looks like a model, but it's disgusting when women are still held to an impossible standard of beauty while men can be as physically diverse as, well, real people.

    Posted by dcoleski at 06/29/2007 @ 9:03pm

28. Katha,

    You hit the nail squarely on the head. My thoughts exactly about the screen relationships we are subjected to these days. Also notice all the commercials in which the typical American suburban couple consists of a cute, perky--usually blonde--"together" woman and an overweight, unappealing schlub of a man. And also notice how many ads say that drinking beer or watching sports on TV is preferable to being in a relationship with a woman. Start looking around on TV. It will make you nuts. And it was married to one of those Peter Pan boys for 7 years, who teenaged his way out of my life at age 30.

    Oh, and there is one movie that fits your description, Zuckerbaby, a terrific little 1985 German movie, remade in 1989 as a TV movie called Babycakes, with Ricki Lake. Not exactly blockbusters but both good movies, especially the former.

    Posted by kkuchenb at 06/30/2007 @ 2:40pm

29. Jason K.

    I understand what you mean, but...

    What choice do you have if during your child-bearing years, all the men you know want to do is play videogames and hang out with their buddies. Or live in the parents' basement. Or travel the world or starve for their art or work themselves to death to get to the top of their corporate jobs?

    You guys can mature at your leisure, scoop up a young chick when you get ready to settle down long after the ovaries of the women who sat next to you in college have dried up.

    I wish someone had told me about this when I was looking for a mate.

    Just a thought...

    Posted by kkuchenb at 06/30/2007 @ 2:47pm

30. Yeah, I'd say Ms. Pollitt hit the nail right on the head. It is boy meets mom.

    However, what is missing from this discussion is something just as confusing and that is how the old image of the man as competent, strong and silent and truly patriarchal has all but disappeared. It may have been a myth but myths can be useful when they are not being repressive/oppressive.

    Clearly we retain the myth of the attractive, sophisticated and nurturing woman but where is the image of the assured, confident and together man who is not either uber-sensitive and a push-over or some kind of shark with lots of money and no heart?

    If you are a man, as I am, you may often find yourself compared unfavourably to one or the other or both. Women are just as confused about what roles to play (and what they are seeking in men) even if the movies don't let on to this.

    Posted by hhemwm at 07/01/2007 @ 6:29pm

31. Thank you Katha. I'm so sick of all the rave reviews by the critics - who are almost all men, surprise surprise - explaining what a progressive hip movie "Knocked Up" is. And damn is that guy ugly. His jokes BETTER be funny.

    The underlying message is that no mattter how hot and smart you women are, you damn well should be grateful if a man - any man - lowers himself to your world of household chores and raising children.

    Holy shit it gets tiresome living in a world totally run by men, for the benefit of men.

    Posted by NancyMc at 07/01/2007 @ 9:54pm

32. .....it gets tiresome living in a world totally run by men, for the benefit of men.

    Posted by NANCYMC 07/01/2007 @ 9:54pm

    I am sorry that a Muslim woman like you have to live in the Mid East or some other exotic locales like Sudan or Pakistan. Your Muslim men even have the `Jihad Option' of getting 72 virgins in the afterlife!

    Just a joke! I am only on my 2nd beer!

    Posted by Happy at 07/01/2007 @ 11:07pm

33. No, a real life Alison would have looked for the same sort of man Maureen Dowd feels entitled to (ie, someone with a 6 to 8 figure income) and then written a book about how men are uncomfortable with putatively accomplished women, when he finds her to be a self-obessessed drag and a blue-nose (eg, the equation of pot use with slackerdom). This explains why a woman would never had made this film.

    Posted by DP in TC at 07/03/2007 @ 5:21pm