Web Letters: Retire Bush!

Send George Bush to Hell!

That's where he belongs, along with his daddy!

John Smith

Houston, TX

He should become a TV sales representative for Huffy Bicycles and Guffy Rinker work-out equipment, with Condi Rice as cohost.

Thomas Gauthier

Powers, MI

Bush will go back to junior high history and science classes while having co-ed excursions with Condi in the gym lockerroom. No hope for English class; he'll take a W.

Brian Gauthier

Powers, MI

Bush is showing signs of early dementia, so he won't have time to do much of anything. Send him back to his ranch to follow his wife around, fold laundry, load the dishwasher, and take out the trash. He's done!

Debra Rubins

Gainesville, FL

Somehow, as if in a dream, Bush finds himself treading "water" in the center of a large septic tank filled over his head and with the rim out of reach. He is surrounded by Cheney, Wolfowitz, Rice, Abramoff, Perle, Kristol, Libby and the rest of the neocon gang. He's been screaming "help" for so long, his voice is running out and his condition is running out of treading time. The gang is either talking to each other in groups of two or three, or looking in various directions alone. All are unmoved as Bush starts to sink into the brown abyss. As he's sinking, and left with an obvious lack of time for much more, he finally "gets it"--as we watch him sink and hear his final cry" "Omigod... Katrina... Katrina." And we let him wake up, his memory forever embedded with his epiphany.

Larry Cole

Glendale, CA

George Bush should be allowed to finish out his military service with honor. (Several missed drills and missed duty days were documented in his reserve records.) He should receive training in a new military occupational specialty that supports the anti-ballistic missile defense initiative. The job is called "in-flight nucler (nuclear) nose-cone repairman."

John Pepe

Boca Raton, FL

George Bush should be a shoeshine boy, preferably in Iraq.

Carol Brown

Kalamazoo, MI

I hear Eb retired. George Bush would be a perfect replacement. Dolt for dolt, Cheney could be Haney; both exceptional snake-oil salesmen. Goodbye, city life!

Lou Gerber

Belleair Beach , FL

His obvious job after leaving office is a position with the new Mad magazine theme park, which as been desparately searching for an adult to play Alfred E. Neuman. It is a position for which his years of service clearly qualify him. All other applicants will drool at the chance at such amazing opportunities.

Barbarra Alsop

Silver Spring, MD

George Bush should go back to ready and selling comic books. This is the world that he has been living in for the last eight years. The title the Mighty Provocateur.

Rick Griffin

Union Gap, WA

Bush the Tush should get a starring role in American Gladiators, presented on major-network television. He, the Dick, and Rummy will fight each other to the death in an arena, like gladiators. The sole survivor gets to open one of three mystery doors. One leads to a mob of radical Islamic terrorists with bloodlust and knives. Another leads to a menagerie of hungry wild beasts. The last door leads to freedom, but only after stripping naked, bending over and showing the world his ass.

John Stephen

Big Timber, MT

President Bush showed his real talents on Saturday, December 14, when he successfully ducked two shoes being thrown at him during a press conference in Iraq. He has been so good at ducking (the truth) he should join a circus and work the "dunking machine."

Ann Molison

Fort Collins, CO

I think George W. Bush and Dick Cheney should become space explorers. They could be in another exclusive club of famous people. And just think how exciting it would be to go through training at NASA. Because they're such important people they would probably let them decide which planet they would like to go to or maybe the moon. I think the moon, that's more important than a planet. It's the only way I can think of for them to be famous for a very long time. Maybe people would forget about them being the worst president and vice president in history.

Jayne Caldwell

New Hope, MN

W., being the compassionate he claims, and in response to not being brought up on multiple charges of murder in the commission of a robbery, will do the altruistic thing, and tie an anvil to his neck, get the Secret Service to drive him to the Tidal Basin, and jump in.

john devlin

Conestoga, PA

I think upon leaving office, Geo. Bush (and D. Cheney,for that matter) should "Not Pass GO, Should Not Collect $200 and Should Go Straight to Jail!" for crimes against the American people and against humanity of which they and their entire political staff(s)are guilty! (From 2000 thru the present.........)

Thomas E. Hughes

Olympia, WA

G.W. Bush should be forcibly relocated to an inner-city one-room, cold-water apartment with shared toilet facilities. He will assist the cities garbage disposal unit in his hands-on-job. He will not have a car and will not be eligible for food stamps.Saturday afternoons he will be allowed, under supervision, to visit the graves of newly dead soldiers from the Iraq war.

Jean Scott Creighton

Thomaston, ME

Regarding Bush activities after retitement, I think he should go jogging and never stop. No turns, no stops, and no going back.

Bert Russell

Bellingham, WA

After W. consults with Dick Cheney about who he should hire to run his ranch into the ground, Cheney recommends himself, and after he succeeds in doing just that, W. gets yet another bailout from the Saudis.

Stephen E. Hooper

Fort Myers, FL

Bush should hightail it out of Texas and join Tom Delay in Virginia spreading thier gospel of the great things they and thier compadres did while in charge. Maybe they could even get another faux news channel to promote thier slime. But everyone involved should be wearing thier hightop cowboy boots because the shit as always is going to be very deep.

Lee Tennison Sr.

Canyon, TX

After leaving office George W. Bush is going to write, produce, choreograph, direct and star in an Off-Broadway musical about his presidency, entitled Windows Vista.

Eric Hanke

East Liverpool, OH

OK, I sent the form letter to Nancy Pelosi:

"Impeach Cheney for High Crimes & Misdemeanors
Yes, we can impeach Dick Cheney!

"In the final analysis this is about our Constitution and whether a President can be held accountable for his actions and his deceptions, especially when the effects of those actions have been so calamitous for America, Iraq and the world. Unless Congress reasserts itself as the power branch of government which the Founders intended, our experiment with a republican form of Government may be nearing an end. But when Congress acts to hold this President accountable it will be redeeming the faith that the Founders had in the power of a system of checks and balances which preserves our republic." --Rep. Dennis Kucinich

... And this is her response, of December 3, 2008:

Thank you for contacting me to express your concerns regarding the actions of the current Administration. I agree that the Administration must be held accountable, and I am working with Congress to do so.

On January 20, 2009, President-elect Barack Obama and Vice President-elect Joe Biden will take the oath of office. In the remaining days of the 110th Congress, I believe that it is in the best interest of the country to work on rebuilding our economy.

For the past two years, the Democratic majority in Congress has worked to take the country in a New Direction--change the failed policy in Iraq, make America safer and more secure, raise the minimum wage, promote energy independence, address global warming, make college more affordable, respond to the health care crisis and make government more accountable. While we have had many successes, there is more work that needs to be done.

We are continuing to fight for change every day on these and other issues to improve the lives of all Americans. There is no more important task before us than to bring our troops home safely and soon, and we will continue to work to do so. However, I believe impeachment proceedings against President Bush or Vice President Cheney will not contribute to attaining that goal.

The Constitution gives the Congress a crucial role in overseeing the Executive Branch in order to protect the American people against overreaching, incompetence, and corruption.

For six years, under Republican leadership, Congress failed to conduct its proper oversight role and did not take action to address the extent of the mismanagement of our Iraq policy, widespread corruption by contractors in Iraq, and the failed response to Hurricane Katrina.

The House is committed to conducting vigorous oversight, and have already passed legislation to clean up government contracting abuses and 'no bid' contracts that companies like Halliburton and KBR have made infamous, protect the public's right to know by strengthening the Freedom of Information Act and restoring "checks and balances" by investigating the military health care crisis, Iraq and Hurricane Katrina reconstruction failures and the firing of U.S. Attorneys. During the 110th Congress, the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform has conducted many oversight hearings to look into allegations of fraud, waste and government corruption throughout the Bush Administration and to demand changes in policies promoted by special interests and corrupt officials.

In the 111th Congress, Democrats in the House and Senate will continue to work toward achieving our goals and holding the new administration accountable. Please be assured that upholding Congress' constitutional responsibility to oversee the activities of the Executive Branch will continue to be among my highest priorities.

Thank you again for contacting me on this important issue. I hope you will continue to communicate with me on matters of concern to you. For more information on this and other issues affecting our city and our nation, please visit my website at www.house.gov/pelosi or sign up to receive e-mail updates at www.house.gov/pelosi/IMA.html.

Sincerely,

Nancy Pelosi
Member of Congress

So it appears that Nancy Pelosi is not capable of multitasking?

Or is it because she wishes not to have the Republican's expose the pork-laden agreement she was so intent in adding to the original $700 billion bailout and that would favor her husbands business concerns?

Pelosi's personal agenda has been put before the nation good and it is obvious that her tough talk regarding Cheney and Bush was just that, "talk."

I urge those who have written Pelosi to research her participation in the bailout and her personal demands that were added and had zero to do with bailing out.

I now advocate that Nancy Pelosi's name be added to the list of those that should be put out to pasture and/or investigated for crimes against the American people.

Gary Brown

San Francisco, CA

I believe that most people hope G.W. Bush will head to Crawford, grab an axe and chop brush, never to be heard of again. Hopefully he can do as much damage to the brush (not the environment) as he's done for this country.

Thomas J. Jones

Eugene, OR

Bush can ease into retirement by teaching fifth graders the basic elements of clear speaking and concise word pronounciation. And no smirking. This is a serious subject, kids!

Lorna Loveless

Lake Lure, NC

After leaving office, Bush should go to the Hague, Netherlands, and engage in continual nonviolent actions--demonstrations, marches, fasting, petitions, sit-ins, die-ins and civil disobedience--until the International Criminal Court agrees to try him for war crimes.

G. Simon Harak, S.J.

Marquette University
Milwaukee, WI

After retirement, Bush should join the circus. What better career for a clown? He could be the one they shoot out of a cannon (without a helmet).

Then he would know what it's like to be cannon fodder.

Edward Golden

Everett, WA

In less than two months GWB will no longer be the decider. Remember this. Let us not give him this choice again. We the people are paying the price for GWB's criminal acts and so must he. Let us give him a fair trial, finding him guilty of many criminal acts and putting him in prison. Forget revenge. Think rule of law and justice--concepts that he denied for millions.

After all, the man is patriotic. Let us provide him with an orange suit or, better, a suit with stripes and keep him where he belongs.

Dr. El Rasheid Zakaria

Louisville, KY

Bush could acqaint himself with our library system, then host the national Storytimes for toddlers' events and readings.

Renee Lusian

Seal Beach, CA

Duhbaya will no doubt be found spending his time on various Dallas-area freeway offramps holding up a "will run your buisiness into the ground for food" cardboard sign!! Wish the last eight years were just a dream!

douglas lowe

Glendale, CA

He should lead a parade through Baghdad--naked and in chains.

Richard Wheeler

Angola, IN

Bush's best avenue is to continue his remarkable work against AIDS in Africa.

John D. Froelich

Upper Darby, PA

First, he should apologize to his mother for making her ulcer perforate. I would get permission from him to use his visage on a new line of lawn jockeys, kind of turning the tables, having the first black president--Bush made it possible. I would make him a permanent member of the MAD TV crew, playing the part of Alfred E. Newman of "What, me worry?" fame. He should do a commercial for whatever it is he sucks on all the time. But I would enlist him on the first Mars landing mission, to be moved up to the beginning of February, so he can personally see what a world would look like with him as its personal creator. He could also be accompanied by all the steroid-using baseball players, so emblematic of his presidency. The list is endless, but maybe a prison cell could be made out of the Hollywood sign's W, so he could realize the importance of the Dubya moniker that was so important to his term as president. Maybe the W in New Orleans would be more appropriate, though.

Ian Zwerling

Haifa, Israel

GWB would make an ideal fancy steakhouse host in Texas--some place where if you can eat a seventy-two-ounce steak, you get it free. He could josh the customers and have the occasional beer (non-alcoholic, of course) with the good old boys. He could tell stories about his days in the White House. Like the time he faced Colin Powell down and forced him to get on board with his plan to invade Iraq. I can just see him in his Levis, big belt buckle, boots, Stetson ambling along the aisles of the restaurant saying “Howdy” to the patrons. It would be a lot more fun than brushing on his ranch in Crawford.

Barry D. Boughton

Germantown, MD

It's my fervent wish that President Obama's first act upon inauguration should be to assign Bush+Dick (vice--no pun intended) as his ambassadors to Baghdad. These two are well qualified, with eight years of official experience (civil/military). Although neither can speak Arabic, I'm sure they'll be addressed by their first names (with a faint smirk on the locals' faces), One benefit of this "duty" is the culture: No alcohol--B. will stay sober, and C. will stop having delusions about WMDs. (It doesn't take brains to see something that no one else can, but it does take talent). Each morning Bush will look out his window (it's risky to venture outside) and sigh: Democracy, it's wonderful.

Finally, this plum assignment should be permanent and have no compensation because these two patriots love their country so much!!

Sidney Dong

Richmond Heights, CA

The Decider will make a bicycle tour through several countries. The Champs-Elysées and the Arc de Triomphe route will include pretzel-tossing to onlookers. Piccadilly Circus: a chance to return to his own circus years. At the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, Cheney will join as security back-up, and the final stop at the Shahyad Memorial in Tehran will allow him to personally shake hands with the adoring crowds.

Robert Bauerle

Sindelfingen, Germany

The instant Obama says "I will" in January, a stupendous bolt of lightning will rend the sky above the Capitol. An army of gorgon-like angels, clad in cheap armor, firing Russian AK-47s and wailing "Hallelejah, Georgie Boy" through Big Mac-rotted teeth and blubbery, smirking lips, will roar down in F-22 fighter jets, spitting missiles at Democrats--hideously resonant of shotgun blasts from the sidekick named Darth Chainface--and lift Scrubby and Darth to the neocon heaven, where they'll waste away in corporate luxury, devouring moose and paddling about in fine old kegs of Poppy's finest Nazi brew. Their porcine hearts forever joyful as they bray with God at the piano bar, "I screwed them all/I had a ball/And I did it my way!"

Ron Mark

St. Xavier University
Chicago, IL

Upon leaving office, George W. Bush has announced that he will enjoy spending more time with his family while promoting Pan-American unity from his family farm--in Paraguay.

Melissa Chaple

West Palm Beach, FL

After W. leaves the gutted government, he'll become foreman of a dirty coal mining conglomerate. Within six months he will contract black lung disease and oral cancer. His demise will be slow, excruciating and self-fulfilling.

Carol Anne Russell

lake placid, NY

George will be leading the on-site sales team for his Dad's Cayman Carlyle Condominiums, a tax-preferenced offshore community for CEOs, CFOs, COOs and Chamber of Commerce types awaiting their inevitable return to power under the Palin presidency.

Rick Mumma

Long Branch, NJ

I think George W. Bush should go moose-hunting in a helicopter with Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney. Cheney is known to be an incredibly reckless man with a gun. Who knows what would happen?

Julie Maniglia

Phoenix, AZ

I think George W. Bush should return to his "ranch" in Crawford, Texas, and spend all his time cutting down brush on his place. He shouldn't leave the place, or he may find out what people really think of him as a man and his legacy!

Terissa Mosier

Lanesville, IN

After retiring, Bush should spend the rest of his life eating pretzels in jail.

Judith H. Block

New York, NY

W. will retire and move to LA where he will spend his days as a tour bus driver in the Lower Ninth Ward. How fitting.

Frank Bradley

Ballston Spa, NY

"At last, I will finish cutting the log I started eight years ago! Then, I will finish reading The Stranger by Camus."

Joe Sedlak

Raleigh, NC

"Toot Yur Horn Fur Corn" is a slogan of newly installed Czar of Agribusiness, George W. Bush. KBR is developing switchback cuisine. His experience? He states a wheat field can be seen from his front porch.

Rudolph A. Oross

Oceanside, CA

George W. Bush, President 43, and Commander in Chief for eight years, has retired. He will play Risk daily in order to rekindle, in his mind, a legacy of building an empire.

David Wendell James

Smithfield, VA