(With apologies to Cole Porter, the master, who wrote “My Heart Belongs to Daddy”)

The towers fell. We knew full well
The villain in this awful drama.
His name held sway, till he got away.
Now we speak not of Osama.

We said we’d pound him once he’s found
So flat that he’d cry for his momma.
Forget that jive, that “dead or alive,”
‘Cause we speak not of Osama.

He’s not even in the axis.
No, his evil did not make the grade.
For the thing he mostly lacks is
A country that we can invade.

He could be in Yokohama,
Or Bahrain or Belize or Dubai.
But to get back at Osama
We’ll just pulverize some other guy.