Today is Valentine’s Day, which on campus means V-Day–over 1,000 productions of The Vagina Monologues will be taking place across the nation to raise funds for battered women’s shelters and other projects that fight violence against women. V-Day is popular and successful and feminist–it’s even been produced in some Catholic colleges. So naturally the ladies over at the Independent Women’s Forum hate it. Every year they go on a tear about how The Vagina Monologues is ruining romance and sending Cupid packing. "V-Day is not celebrated with flowers or chocolates," grouses IWF Director of Policy Carrie L. Lukas. "Young men do not pay graceful tribute to young ladies on V-Day."

What, no chocolate? This sounds serious! Something tells me the folks at Godiva and Hallmark aren’t too worried.

For the IWF, feminists just can’t get it right: when they’re not ruining romance by being puritanical killjoys, they ruin it by being raunchy and gynecological. But V-day isn’t the only organization with big plans for Valentine’s Day. There’s also the conservative Christian Liberty Counsel, which is promoting February 14th as an annual Day of Purity, "when this nation’s youth can make a public demonstration of their commitment to remain sexually pure, in mind and actions." You can order Live Pure t-shirts and wristbands, just to let the whole world know you are not, not, not thinking about sex. One question: The website urges young people to see abstinence before marriage as "countercultural"–but, um, how does that fit with the official proclamation of the Day of Purity by the Governor of Ohio? Is he some kind of hippie sex hermit?

(For more on P-day, go to feministing.com)