(As performed by the Swiftboat Singers)

Who’s not a retiring, shy Southern belle?
Whose Harvard degree is the way you can tell
That she’s so elite she once ate a morel?
Who doesn’t wear flag pins in either lapel?
Michelle.
Rah! Rah! Smear! Rah! Rah!

Who might be a part of a terrorist cell?
Who might have the powers for casting a spell?
Whose fist-knocks may summon the devil from hell?
Who could be, we reckon, a Muslim as well?
Michelle.
Rah! Rah! Smear! Rah! Rah!