Quantcast

A Robertson Republican | The Nation

  •  

Deadline Poet

A Robertson Republican

  • Share
  • Decrease text size Increase text size

(A Gilbert and Sullivan Solo for George W. Bush)

About the Author

Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider: The 2008 Presidential Election in Rhyme,...

Though folks in Texas are diverse, I knew I could unite them all.
Endorsements came from blacks and girls; I'd happily recite them all.
I've sympathy for everyone (I bleed a lot for Texaco).
I really can't be prejudiced: My sister-in-law's from Mexico.
Though I was real compassionate--at least that is the tale we spun--
I am, when all is said and done, a Robertson Republican.

Chorus:
He is, when all is said and done, a Robertson Republican.

I needed Pat to smear McCain as baby-killer and profane,
Or smite him with a hurricane, so I could win this one campaign.
And Falwell, too, was fine, I felt. So I, to smash my rival, dealt
With guys who really raise a welt with cheap shots from the Bible Belt.
I am a onetime lap dog's son, so it may not strike anyone
As odd that I'm content to run as one who's to the left of none--a Robertson Republican.

Chorus:
He is a onetime lap dog's son, so it may not strike anyone
As odd that he's content to run as one who's to the left of none--a Robertson Republican.

  • Share
  • Decrease text size Increase text size

Before commenting, please read our Community Guidelines.