(With apologies to the Beatles)

Michele, our belle,
Thinks that gays will all be sent to hell.
That’s Michele.

Michele, our belle,
Thinks they’re sick but could be made all well.
Yes, Michele.

She just needs to turn them toward Jesus.
They’re going through a phase
That leads to filthy ways.
But with her hubby’s help these guys could
All be John Wayne.

Michele, our belle,
Views you have are suiting us just swell.
Our Michele.

* Yiddish version (sung with schutzpah) titled “We Kvell, Michele.”