While Jimmy Fallon tears his hair,
Bill Maher laments, “It’s just not fair.”
Dave Letterman begins to pout.
They’ve heard that Herman Cain is out.

In common with his late-night peers,
Jon Stewart comes quite close to tears,
He’d much prefer a case of gout
To hearing Herman Cain is out.

“The man is threatening our jobs,”
Says Leno, as he softly sobs.
Colbert is staggering about.
He’s heard that Herman Cain is out.

They pray together, on their knees:
“Could we have Donald Trump back—please?”