(With apologies to Johnny Mercer)

I’m an old cowhand from the hinterland,
Which an Eastern wuss wouldn’t understand.
Ain’t a rich folks tax-cut I wouldn’t sign,
But I don’t know no one who drinks white wine.
How ’bout Kenneth Lay? Weren’t no friend of mine.
Yippee i oh ti-ay! Yippee i oh ti-ay!

I’m a cowpoke, folks. Don’t eat artichokes.
Burgers do me fine. Wash ’em down with Cokes.
In my battle flight-suit I’ll strike a pose,
But I got compassion, down to my toes.
It’s for unborn babies and CEOs.
Yippee i oh ti-ay! Yippee i oh ti-ay!

I’m a cowboy, guys. This is no disguise.
I don’t flip or flop. I don’t agonize.
Ain’t no bad guy goin’ I won’t bombard.
Kerry’s soft on bad guys and I am hard–
Toughest hombre ever hid in the Guard.
Yippee i oh ti-ay! Yippee i oh ti-ay!