Quantcast

On Gary Bauer's Announcement That He Is Not Having an Affair With a Young Staff Member | The Nation

  •  

Deadline Poet

On Gary Bauer's Announcement That He Is Not Having an Affair With a Young Staff Member

  • Share
  • Decrease text size Increase text size

Could we have thought that Gary Bauer
Would trifle with, perhaps deflower,
A youngish person not at all his bride?
Could we believe this stern avower
Of family and Christian power
Would have a little something on the side?

About the Author

Calvin Trillin
Calvin Trillin, the author of Random House's Deciding the Next Decider: The 2008 Presidential Election in Rhyme,...

Also by the Author

On a Nation cruise, the maritime adventure I usually refer to as “Lefties at Sea,” I used to take it for granted that some of the guests were troubled by my presence.

Well, no. We all now think it's great he
Has said the lass is just a matey
And he has never had a liaison.
Republicans might find it weighty
To have him as their Warren Beatty.
He doesn't seem well cast to play Don Juan.

  • Share
  • Decrease text size Increase text size

Before commenting, please read our Community Guidelines.