Infinitesimal Silver Lining Infinitesimal Silver Lining
The Nader Vote, we find, did not exist. No harm was done by Ralph, that avis rarest. So, not a factor, as he was before,
Nov 11, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
In the Executive Suite of a Major Insurance Company, As Dark Clouds Gather Over New York State… In the Executive Suite of a Major Insurance Company, As Dark Clouds Gather Over New York State…
The CEO now wants a drink-- And something stronger than a spritzer. His worry's not a storm or flood; The dread calamity is Spitzer.
Nov 4, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Bill Clinton Joins the Campaign Bill Clinton Joins the Campaign
The party knows he has some faults, But what he has they need: That's schmaltz. And what he doesn't look is French. So Bubba's coming off the bench.
Oct 28, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A President Who Listens To a Higher Authority A President Who Listens To a Higher Authority
He can't remember one mistake. He'll stay on course till Hades freezes. How can he be so certain still? Because he's got the word from Jesus.
Oct 21, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A White House Spokesman Explains… A White House Spokesman Explains…
Why the Duelfer Report's Finding That Iraq Had No Weapons of Mass Destruction Provides Justification for Having Attacked Iraq in Order to Rid It of Weapons of Mass Destruction
Oct 14, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
On the President’s Boast That He Knew Osama Bin Laden Rather Than Saddam Hussein Was Behind 9/1 On the President’s Boast That He Knew Osama Bin Laden Rather Than Saddam Hussein Was Behind 9/1
That's excellent. So tell us: Why did you For months imply the opposite was true? And why does Cheney (Nanny Dick) still flog
Oct 7, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Why the Republicans Might Be Right That Osama bin Laden Is Rooting for John Kerry Why the Republicans Might Be Right That Osama bin Laden Is Rooting for John Kerry
Bin Laden is the name I bear, And, modestly, I think it's fair To say it's thought by spies and cops Among all terrorists I'm tops. And therefore it's a crying sha
Sep 30, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Poem of Republican Populism A Poem of Republican Populism
Our policies address the cares Of heiresses and millionaires. Our point of view reverberates With folks who live behind high gates
Sep 23, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
A Short History of Someone Who Failed to Get Into the Champagne Unit of the Texas Air National Guard in 1968 A Short History of Someone Who Failed to Get Into the Champagne Unit of the Texas Air National Guard in 1968
I wasn't really for the war. But all my kin, in wars before, Had gone when called. I couldn't flee. No, Canada was not for me. Another thing that I was not
Sep 16, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin
Still Sliming Away Still Sliming Away
(Karl Rove & Co. knock off Paul Simon's "Slip Slidin' Away")
Sep 9, 2004 / Column / Calvin Trillin